Saturday November 21, 2015 - Mother-Daughter Day Out

I am going to visit my youngest daughter today in Tennessee. We are going to spend the day together as "mother"-daughter.

I am going to get a belly button ring and go shopping. We will eat out and maybe take in a movie.

This is my Millennial daughter who is very prissy and girly. I think we will have a great time.

I mentioned in a post last week, how my late mother and I had a mother-"daughter" day out of shopping and lunch. Now, I am the "mother" and it will nice. I only wish I had more experiences as the "daughter". I am sure many cis-women who went from daughter to mother had great positive experiences.

I am starting to build mine. I hope that one day I can have a "Grandmother"-Granddaughter day out. That will be great.

I believe we are all links in a chain that connect our offspring to our ancestors. Our life purpose is to be a strong link in that chain.

I am happy to be building a chain that connects my mother to my daughter and possibly granddaughter through positive experiences..

Friday November 20, 2015 - Belly Button Piecing

I have decided I want to get my belly button pieced. I have been thinking about it for awhile. I never show my belly button in public. So for me it will be more of a personal statement about me and my transition. I am allowing Susan to present herself and become more of my everyday life. When I look in the mirror, I see her. I am so happy that I can now look at myself and feel that I am seeing more of the real me.

I am finally feeling pretty and beautiful, even in male mode. Saturday, I just felt like the pretty woman I am inside. It was so liberating.

The belly ring will add that touch of femininity that I will see everyday I wake up and shower. When I look in the mirror and see my physical changes from exercising and eating better, the smooth face and soon the belly ring. It makes my day, even when I have to go out in boy mode.

My stomach (left)  is not as flat as the picture above. But this ring will give me the added motivation to keep working on flattening my stomach.

Of course, my stomach will not develop a more feminine shape until after a certain amount of time (maybe 12 - 15 months) on HRT.

I am going to look for a ring that will sit in my belly button area and bring color to it.

I like this pink flower ring.  Its feminine and cute

I may also select a large diamond ball  that would sit in my belly button area.

Both rings would have to be large enough to sit in and cover my button area. I am excited to get this done.

Saturday, I am going to spend the day with my youngest daughter who has a belly ring and she is going to take me to get one. We are going to have a "mother"-daughter day together.

Thursday November 19, 2015 - Voice

I have decided to start preparing for voice transition. After this past Saturday, I know I will be out more as Susan than a Femboy. As a Femboy, I did not worry that much about my voice because I considered myself a feminine male. But Susan is a women and needs to present a more feminine voice.

I think for me, I need to start with a personal one-on-one coach. I know there are some great video tutorials and CD lessons. But I need that personal touch where my personal questions can be answered and I can learn to hear Susan's voice.

I am going to follow the steps listed in the infographic below. First I need to develop a plan. So I am going to start by interviewing both local and national speech therapists that specialize in Transwomen voices. Once I choose a coach, I hope that person will assist me in developing my plan.

Financially, I will be finished with electrology soon. I am down to $140 per month from $280 per month in late December. So, I am going to convert that expense to voice lessons and tools.

Any suggestions on a therapist or courses, like the one by Marian of Crossing T's and Dotting I's would be appreciated.

For me, at least the first three steps will require a voice coach. I need help developing my plan and goals, establishing my baseline and learning the fundamentals.

At some future point, I will mix a voice coach with a video and/or audio course.

Wednesday November 18, 2015 - Out after hours

After finding the dress at Goodwill, I headed back to the hotel. I stopped at another Mall before I made it back because I was hungry. I had not eaten much but did not know what to eat. So I thought the food court at the Mall would have a nice selection.

I parked near the food court entrance. I got out of the car and walked into the Mall. I walked  slowly because my feet were starting to hurt.

In the past there was no way I would have walked into the Mall dressed without stressing out. But I felt very natural and feminine as I walked in. I passed many people, both young and old, black, white and latino. I did not notice any negative comments or looks..

I walked slowly not just because I wanted to take shorter steps but also because my feet hurt.

Once in the Mall, the number of food options were limited. This Mall is struggling. So I walked to the posted map and found the Payless Shoe store. I slowly walked to that store. But again the number and variety of shoes in my size was very limited. The manager stated she was new and one of her first action items was to increase the area and variety of shoes for the large women sizes (12 and 13).

Suddenly, I need to go to the bathroom. After not finding a friendly bathroom close on http://www.refugerestrooms.org/, I left to head back to the hotel.

Once I got back to the hotel, I used the bathroom, then took a shower and removed my makeup. It was about 8 pm and I decided to rest before going out to the club around midnight. My feet were hurting so bad that now my ankles were sore. I filled the bathtub with hot water and soaked my feet while reading a few free magazines I picked up about the area LGBT nightlife.

After about 1 hour, my feet felt much better. So I laid down and took a nap. I remember when staying up until early morning was easy and fun. Now at almost 60, its nap time.

I woke up around 10:30 pm to start getting ready. I took a quick shower and put on my makeup, new dress and shoes. My feet were still alittle sore. So I took out the new black/grey flats I bought and wore them to the car. I carried my heels.

I decided, I would wear my flats while driving and put on my heels when at the club.

The outfit looked great and the heels were perfect. I am going to have to get better heels, but for now, I can deal with the pain to look good.

I decided to go to the Parliament House. In the mid 2000's my friend Maxine and I went on two road trips to visit Parliament House in Orlando. This evening was going to be a night out in memory of my friend. I was never very good at going out to a nightclub. I have a better time with smaller crowds. Maxine loved clubs. I met her at a club one of my former students opened.

Men would by her drinks and she would have a great time. I was and still am more of a wall flower in those situations. I usually would leave her and walk around and dance a few times. I might find a few people to talk to, but I would stay sober so I could drive us home.

Now it was just me. I arrived at the club attached to the hotel. Its a younger crowd and casual wear was the norm. I was definitively over dresses and much older. I expected that because with the exception of a few other transwoman, everyone else is in casual outfits.

The area was packed. They had Adore Delano singing at a pool party. I drove around the large parking lot and could not find a space. In order to park, I was going to have to park on a side street about 3 blocks away. There was no way I could walk three blocks in these heels. I could walk in my flats and then change to my heels, once I arrive. However, the streets were dark and being a single female, especially a transwoman, I decided against it.

I was disappointed, but I will be back in a few weeks for my mother's memorial. I will come back then.

I decided to go into Downtown Orlando to the Church Street Station area. This is a nice area that is growing with all of the new highrise residential buildings being added. Its a walking area of clubs.

I found an area to park. I kept my flats on and walked around. It was crowded with most young people walking in and out of clubs and restaurants. Many of the younger ladies were dresses very well with high heels while others were casual. This was not what I was looking for, so after about 30 minutes, I turned around and went back to my car.

I headed back to the hotel. Near the hotel, I saw a tattoo shop that was still open. So I decided to stop and ask about Tattoos. (See previous post)

In the previous post about the tattoo parlor visit, I did not mention that there was a party of five young 20 something ladies sitting in the lobby. They came out from the tattoo area as I entered the shop. I think someone in their party was getting a tattoo. While they waited in the lobby, they ignored me while they talked and played on their phone. Except for one girl. I noticed her glancing at me. Her look was not negative. I was at the counter and then the sales clerk led me across the room to the computer so I could see the rose and butterfly options. Again I noticed out of the corner of my eye, her looking at me. I felt an energy of attraction not disgust. As I walked out of the door, her eyes followed me out and I felt like I was in a meat market.

This is a picture of me leaving the tattoo shop. It appears that I have larger breasts than normal. I am not wearing any enhancements. The plunging neckline and the location of the belt held my natural breasts up and gave the appearance of fuller breasts. I was not wearing a bra because of the neckline. This was another reason I liked this dress. I handled the short hemline and with those shoes, my legs looked long, toned and really nice.

This shop faced the busy International Drive. The shop was located at the SW corner of International Drive and Sand Lake Drive. For 2 am, it was still busy. As I walked from my car along the shopping center sidewalk, I was in front of alot of traffic. I did not hear any shouting toward me or car horns. It was well lit and I felt safe.

I reached my hotel room by after 2 am. I was tired. So I showered and removed my makeup. My feet were sore, but I put on my night gown and got under the covers.

I thought about the day and realized how much I have changed mentally. A year ago, I would have never done most of what I did Saturday.

I remember in 2013, during one of my trips to E3000 in Dallas, I wore what I would now call a Femboy outfit. I was so nervous just walking from the hotel to the clinic. I then walked back to the hotel after my treatment and changed back into my male clothes before walking to the store.

Now, I am out all day as Susan. Going places I was not familiar with, having a good time and just being a lady shopping is which so much fun.

I did not mention this earlier, but while at the second Mall, I stopped at an AMC theater that was inside the Mall. I have an unlimited free pass, so I got a ticket for the James Bond movie, just in case I wanted to come back to see it. I had to show my ID, which is decidedly male. I did not hesitate to show it and there was no reaction from the male clerk.

As I fell off to sleep, I realized I am ready mentally. I need voice lessons and finish the physical and financial part of the plan.

The makeup part is coming along and I will be finish with my beard removal soon. So I am going to start developing a voice lesson plan.

Tuesday November 17, 2015 - Goodwill shopping for dresses

After my makeover, I headed to the local Goodwill store which was within one block of the Mall.

I had such a good time with the makeover, I have decided to have a few more just to get different opinions. I am going to set up a Fashion Fair and UTLA Beauty makeover.

Saturday night I wanted to go out. But I need a nice dress. Since I was spending the day as Susan, why not go to Goodwill and try on dresses?

So I went to 2 stores in Orlando and spent time trying on dresses. I was looking for something feminine but not trashy. I spend over three hours looking for dresses and trying them one.


As is common, most of the women I made eye contact with smiled and/or said hello. I returned the smile and the hello. I moved among the ladies just as other women would. I pulled out dresses off the rack and inspected them and in some cases put them up against my body. Those I liked, I placed in my cart.

Below is a slide presentation of  a few dresses I tried on. The ones that were too big or I could not get on because they were too small are not included.

I brought these black shoes for the evening adventure. My youngest daughter bought these for me for my birthday.

They fit my feet perfectly and I look forward to buying a dress that works with these shoes.

It was fun and relaxing, looking for and trying on dresses with no time limit. I went through each dress on the rack in each store. So it took time because I was looking for something that was not to sexy, common or dressy. I was surprised that many of the dresses I chose to try on were sleeveless.