Thursday January 5, 2017 - In Bright Red State of Kentucky.... Family Bathrooms?

Tuesday I drove from Atlanta to Cincinnati, Ohio for a project. I spent the night in Erlander, Ky and spent Wednesday morning with my client.

Wednesday afternoon, I drove back to Atlanta. While driving thru Daniel Boone National Forest, I needed to stop and buy gas.

So I ended up stopping at this small gas station. I was a little nervous because of past history but I needed the gas.

I had to go inside to pay first and notice a few other African American truckers, so I felt better. Of course the vast major were friendly and cool. But you do not know who is not and might say something so try to embarrass me in front of their friends. Its just something you keep in the back of your head due to past experience.


Well I had to go to the bathroom and saw two bathrooms. Both were gender neutral bathrooms.Wow, gender neutral bathrooms in the heart of Trump country. This gas station is located in Laurel County Kentucky. Look at the 2016 Presidential results in the county.

Trump won that county by almost 70 percentage points. Yet they switched the male/female bathrooms to gender neutral bathrooms.

There was a small slot machine room next to the bathrooms and both male and female patrons were in that room playing.

I liked the fact that I just had to choose either bathroom. If I were presenting as Susan, I would have no bathroom issue.

I am going to add that site to the refruge bathroom web site.

Never give up hope.

Wednesday January 4, 2017 - Mental Changes

I am 1 week away from completing HRT month 7.  I am now beginning to notice the mental changes in me. I am sure there are even more changes that I have not recognized yet.

But today I wanted to discuss some of these changes.

1. My dysphoria is gone. Its hard to explain. I no longer have that driving desire to wear woman's clothes. Woman's clothes are part of my normal wardrobe and I include them in my wardrobe. I wear what I want to wear. It's about how I feel that morning. I feel like a woman all the time. How I want to  express that is up to me that day.
2. I cry more. Not breaking down but I feel the emotion when, listening to certain songs, thinking about things or just a feeling hits me. I use to feel that emotion and could hold it in. Not anymore.
3. Since high school, I only listened to talk radio. Either news, politics or sports. I never really listened to music unless it was dance music. Now, I only listen to music. I have not listened to talk radio in a couple of months. Since Karen and I went to a Christmas show, I have been listening to some Gospel music. But now I listen to and understand the meaning of the words and the power of the voices. I get it. It's not just a good beat but its the words. I now listen to music at night and fall asleep with it on.
4. I am in a happier place. I find myself with more pep in my step. When I am out, I just feel better and want to interact with people even more than usual. .
5. I use to be a very aggressive driver. Learning to drive New Jersey meant that I owned the road and others shared it with me, if I wanted them to. Now, I am a more courteous drive and I let people in front of me and I try to be nice. Driving activity from other that use to upset me, does not bother me anymore.
6. As I have been saying earlier, I have a difficult time motivating myself to exercise. I still need it for weight control and health. It use to be easy for me to go 3 or 4 times a week. Monday was my first time in 2 months. I have got to find away  to get back in the gym.

As I recognize more mental.changes, I will let you know. Of course, physical changes are still occurring but they have slowed down. I will discuss those changes in a future post, probably next week during my monthly measurement.

Tuesday January 3, 2017 - Bra hunting today

There was a 50% off sale on every item in the local thrift store. So I decided to go bra hunting. I am a 36B now. My 36A bras are too small. I can wear a 36A bra in a pinch but they do not give me enough support.

I have been buying a few 36B bras since last fall. I have three of them. But I need a few more. I did find three bras at the thrift store that were my size. Two of them had problems with the filler inside the cups. They has creases that would not thin out.

The bra in the picture, was the only one I bought. I like the color and print.

Below are some pictures of bra styles and their names.

Monday January 2, 2017 - I told my brother-in-law about my transition

I was in Baltimore for the past week. While there, my brother-in-law and I usually check out some movies. So on both Tuesday and Thursday we went to the movies.

We saw Star Wars and Passenger. Both are our kind of movies. So we had a good time.

After the movies, we usually do dinner and talk. He is a Doctor with a pain clinic and he has a second business, which is a spa. He is about my age and reminds me of my Dad in that he was the first in his family to go to college and become a Dr. That's is an amazing feat.

Over the decades, he has leaned on me for business advise and I get medical advise from him.

Our politics do not match as he is a little to republican for me. But I have quite a few good friends like that and I enjoy the political discussions. We did not talk much during the Presidential Elections, but I suspect he was a Trump guy.

Also his religious views on LGBTQ issues differ from mine. He is caught up in the bathroom issue. So I decided while at dinner to discuss my transition with him.

I started by telling him that in the past year or so, two important things have happened to me. One was meeting my friend Karen at the exact time my Mother died and she has been a great sounding board. Two, was I started HRT in my transition and that I was a Transwoman.

Being a Doctor, he knows how to remain stoic and ask questions. I did not expect any major physical reaction.

So I gave him my crossdressing history and that now I am at a great place mentally, physical and even spiritually.

He asked a few basic questions about my HRT meds and that he did not know I was trans. I showed him a few recent pictures. His response was muted, which I expected. I also suspect he has transpeople in his pain clinic. I just wanted him to know, that he has a family member who he has known over 25 years, who is part of that community.

But I really wanted to use this time to move to the bathroom issue and the new Trump Administration.

He does not believe men should be in woman's bathrooms. I get that.

So I attempted to side step the main issue by saying that in the end the solution will benefit everyone. That solution is family bathrooms. Since he has one daughter, we both agreed that family bathrooms would have been nice during our children rearing days. We both agreed that we do not know how women with young boys handle bathroom issues. I stated that if men can not go into a woman's bathroom, then one option for woman with young boys could be legally cut off. That is taking the boy in the woman's bathroom.

I showed him my refuge restroom app that helps transpeople find safe bathrooms.

The whole bathroom issue is a cover for the overall discrimination that is hidden in the law. I showed him the youtube video from the Daily Show in which the North Carolina food truck randomly discriminates by refusing service to LGBTQ people based the owners' decision.

I stated that as African American males, we should understand random discrimination and that we should not stand for it against anyone.

I told him that the upcoming bathroom laws and religious freedom laws are nothing more that Jim Crow in a dress. He needs to support common sense laws that make all single stall bathrooms, family bathrooms. Or that fast food restaurants can have one family bathroom as an option instead of two gender specific bathrooms, if the bathroom has a single stall.

He stated that he saw my point and that my recommendations were reasonable.

He is coming to Atlanta later this week, to visit his daughter. We are going to talk some more about this.

One way I am going to fight the upcoming anti-LGBTQ laws, is to discuss the issue by discussing my transition with my friends. It will be one person at a time. I am going to start with my Republican friends.

Sunday January 1, 2017 - 2017 might be a loooong year.

2017 may be the year our community learns the difference between a supportive federal administration and one that wants us back in the closet..... or worse.

Federal Judge Blocks Obamacare Protections For Transgender People