I worn a pink color-based outfit. I headed out onto the floor and went up to the row of elliptical machines that are closest to the TV. I wanted to watch Game 6 of the World Series and CNN campaign coverage.
Beyond the TV's and weights is a glass covered wall. It allows me to watch what is behind me and look at myself while I workout.
While completing my hour, I noticed the guy walking across the floor between me and the glass wall. I assumed like everyone else, we was moving to another set of weights.
Suddenly, He appeared in my line of vision, walking back across the floor but right in front of my machine. I could have easily reached out and touched him. I looked at him and he said hi but was staring at my chest and not my face.
I told myself, so is this what happens to woman. I am weird because he spoke but did not look at my face, just my chest.
During the rest of the hour, I keep an eye on the guy and I noticed him turning toward me every once in awhile. Also, I think he was looking at my reflection in the mirror. Once I finished my hour of exercise, I noticed he was still using the weights.
I walked into the locker room and quickly dried off, put on my sweatsuit and headed out of the door. It was late, almost midnight, so there were not many people in the center and I had parked upfront. So I had my keys in my hand and quickly got in my car and left.
This was the third instance this week in which I think my changes are being noticed. On Sunday, I was with my oldest daughter and out of nowhere she asked how my transition was going. We talked about it for awhile. But I wonders if she noticed something. She is a counselor and is very observant.
Finally, on Monday, I had lunch with a couple of former students. I had not seen them in a few years. Both of them complimented me on how young I looked and asked what I was doing. I replied that I am just living a healthy live.
I notice that I am changing, I think the rest of the world is now picking up on it, after 5 months of HRT.
I would take not offense of have fear of your gym buddy. In the world of most people the definiteness of gender is something that has always been a given. If a stranger sees you wearing a pink outfit with a figure that could be more woman than man but also notices certain mail cues such as your lack of hair that person is likely confused and he may just have been giving you the once over (six times) because he could not be sure of your gender and the mixed cues confused him.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought.
Pat
You are probably correct. I may have been too over the top with worry. I had just never had that boob-stare before.
DeleteFrom following your blog it may be starting to be that time when 'boob stare' becomes more common than rare.
ReplyDeleteSusan,
ReplyDeleteYou may need to wear a turban when at the gym, so that people will see you as a woman, and not as a fem-boy. Since you are transitioning, the in-between state can be an issue to some people. You may stand out as an anomaly. And then again, you may blend in very well.
A blossoming chest and a balding head are confusing to someone who doesn't know about others being transgender. So I make my suggestion as being a cautious, risk averse person.
Good luck.... And let us know how you deal with this issue.
M