Monday, January 16, 2017

Monday January 16, 2017 - The right overcoat

Try to find that right overcoat for winter can be frustrating. I bought a cute black and white short coat in 2015. I love that coat and get a lot of compliments. But I need a longer overcoat.

Buying the right coat is based in part on your body type.

Below is an inforgraphic on coat options for woman with a rectangular shape.

I like the Tulip-hem coat. It's cute with the peek-a-poo front. But you need  pretty legs and/or nice pair of skinny pants.

Monday January 16, 2017 - Gloria Allen, Trans Icon Who Led Charm School for Transgender Youth of Color

Friday, January 13, 2017

Friday January 13, 2016 - Breast timeline

There are two thinks I am most happy about at the 7th month mark. One are the mental changes. I love where I am mentally. 

The second is my body. As I stated a few posts ago, I can see over time that my body is slowly becoming more hourglass shaped. Watching my food intake is working and once I get basis, the changes will probably accelerate.

Of all the face and body changes, of course the breasts growth means the most. Its amazing how important they are to me. I now see why breast implants are important to some.

I think about the importance of genetics in this. On the one hand I have to wear a wig but on the other hand I am a 36B after 7 months. Things seem to balance out.

The above picture is me in a 36A bra. The left picture is during the first month and the right picture is today. Below is another current picture in that bra.

The above set of pictures is me in a 36B bra. The left picture is from October and the right picture is current. I am fuller in the right picture.

Below is a second set from the same time difference, but from a slightly different angle. From the set below, I still have some room to grow in this 36B bra. I noticed that each bra I have, fits me a little differently depending on the style and cut.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Thursday January 12, 2017 - Liver issues and HRT

I started using my current doctor 3 years ago. I chose him because he has a large transgender client base and will prescribe HRT based on informed consent.

Starting a few years early allowed me to develop a relationship and a medical base line. Once I started HRT in June 2016, I was told I needed to come in every 3 months for the first year for a checkup and blood test.

I was a little late with my first appointment, about 100 days instead of 90 days. I found out during my next visit (this past Dec '16)  that my blood test showed elevated liver enzymes. He was concerned and asked if I had hepatitis or any other liver issues. I said that I did not know of anything.

He wanted to wait until the second blood test results (Dec) before making a recommendation.

The second test results came back with my liver enzymes in the normal range.

I talked to the nurse who had talked to the Doctor. They stated that sometimes anomalies happen and that is why they like to have two test results. The next result in March '17, will help identify which liver result was the anomaly. But being that the last one is normal, they expect the same good results in the next one.

This is why it is good to try and find a Doctor with experience in this area and with a relatively large transgender client base. He does not seem to overreact and has enough experience to provide me with solid guidance.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Wednesday January 11, 2017 - 7 month measurements

Below are my current measurements and the change since last month. The picture is followed by an explanation and then a table showing the monthly changes since I began HRT.

The above chart shows that last month only my shoulder measurements increased while the others decreased or did not change. I remeasured my shoulders a few times, but 42" kept coming up.

In December, I started a strict diet in an attempt to reduce my blood sugar. It's working and it appears to be reducing my weight. I do not weight myself. When I was losing weight in 2010/2011, I only weighted myself weekly. I go by how my clothes fit.

My blood sugar is down but still at diabetic levels. I am between 150 and 200. I need to be under about 140 all the time. I do not know if I will get there. If not, it looks like pills for me. By February, I will decide. as I am still tweaking my menu and herbs. I was told by my brother-in-law to try 3 teaspoons of honey in the morning. He has a patient who is 92 years old that does just that and it keeps is blood sugar level normal.

Even thought my breast area decreased, I now wear the 36B bras and I am very happy with them. Thank goodness its winter because my male look is failing. It is getting difficult to hide them. By spring and summer, I might as well transition to full-time.

The difference in size between my above breast area and breast line increased back to 2.50 inches. The difference between the area under my breast line (bra band) and my breast line decreased back to 4.75" last month. I finally got my bra line 34" and I feel the looseness in my 36B bras around the band.

My waist at my belly button did not change. Atleast I am staying down under 36". My goal is 34". I probably need exercise to reach that goal.

My shoulder to hips ration doubled from 1.5" to 3.0". HRT does not change bone structure. But I was hoping that this ratio would show the movement of fat from the top toward the bottom and thus equalizing both measurements. This is a work in progress.

Overall I am happy with my results. I still need to figure out how to get back into the gym..I did get there twice in the past 30 days. That is a long way from 12 to 16 times a month.

Comparing Day 0 to Day 210, the overall changes were my waist and above is decreasing, except my breast line and my hips and thighs are staying about the same. Its giving me a more hour glass shape.

AREA 0 Day 30 DAYS 60 DAYS 90 DAYS 120 DAYS 150 DAYS 180 DAYS 210 DAYS
45.0 43.0 43.0 41.0 41.0 42.0
ABOVE BREAST 37.0 37.0 37.5 36.0 36.5 36.5 38.0 36.0
BUST LINE 38.0 39.0 39.5 38.50 39.75 39.00 40.0 39.5
BRA BAND 36.0 35.0 35.5 34.75 35.0 34.25 34.5 34.0
WAIST@BELLY BUTTON 38.0 36.0 37.0 36.5 37.0 36.5 35.5 35.5
HIPS 40.0 40.0 40.0 40.0 39.5 39.5 39.5 39.0
THIGHS 37.0 37.0 37.0 36.5 36.0 36.0 36.5 36.0
HIPS VS SHOULDERS -- 5.0 5.0 3.0 2.0 1.5 1.5 3.0
BUST LINE VS ABOVE BREAST 1.0 2.0 2.0 2.5 3.25 2.5 2.0 2.5
BUST LINE VS BRA BAND 2.0 4.0 4.0 3.25 4.75 4.75 5.5 4.5

My physical goals for Month 7 were:
  1. Keep losing weight and get my stomach down. (Done)
  2. Keep relationship between Bust line-Above Breast and Bust line-Bra Line the at least the same (Done)
  3. Keep reducing Hip vs Shoulders relationship (wrong direction)

My physical goals for Month 8 are:

  1. Keep losing weight 
  2. Get my waist to 34"

Tuesday January 10, 2017 - Gender talk with my 6 year grandson.

School is still out in northern Georgia counties. So I am watching my Grandchildren today. I was just talking to my Grandson. He is a very smart first grader. He already knows his multiplication times table to 6 and reads very well. I think he has a photographic memory.

It was just he and I and he began to talk in very "sexist" terms. I was shocked because I had never heard him say these things before.

They included:

  1. Only boys like sports
  2. Only boys can be in my band
  3. Boys rule and girls do.

Being a pre-teen male I understand the "icky" girl attitude from the 1960's. But in 2016-2017, I find this hard to understand. He is in a new school and I am wondering if this attitude is being created in school with his new friends.

Of course I challenged him on these ideas.

  1. I showed him woman playing sports and asked him if his sister likes soccer? He said yes. Is she good?Again he replied yes.
  2. I showed him "girl" bands and mixed bands on youtube.
  3. Finally, both boys and girls rule and they do it equally.

I think I am going to make sure that when I expose him to powerful woman, I highlight their successes.

For example both of his great aunts are Doctors.

Maybe he will have to meet "Susan" sooner than I thought.

Today is my 7 month measurement day. I will do so later today and post the results. I just wanted to talk about my Grandson this morning.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Monday January 9, 2016 -Shoe Shopping with my daughter.

Saturday, I went out with my daughter looking for some brown flats. I only have two brown shoes and they need to be replaced. I need brown for the fall and winter. I have been using my black flats which limit my use of brown in my outfits.

So we went to Payless Shoes. It was fun shopping together and giving our opinions of certain shoes. Her youthful opinions do not always coincide with mine but it ws fun to see what she liked compared to me.

I was looking for some flats and tried on three pair. I only liked one pair and it was a little too pricey for me.

I like this style, but I was looking for a darker brown that could go with a variety of brown outfits. I think the animal print will not work as my #1 brown flat. It's more of a specialty pair for certain outfits. I may buy with later, if I find the right coupon.

We both agreed that the medallion was a nice touch, but the rest of the shoe was bad. It felt hard and stiff on my feet and the side holes gave it a cheesy look. I dd not like the shoe's sole, either its look or feel.

I like this show the best. Its plain with a nice brown (copper) color and it felt good on my feet. We both felt it was the best of the three. But it's price was a little too high for me. I will wait for a coupon that will allow me to buy it at a reduced price.

So I walked away without a new pair of shoes. But I had a lot of fun.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Sunday January 8, 2017 - Day with my daughter

Saturday I hung out with my daughter. She had been asking me to come up and visit. So I came up Friday night in the "snow storm"(the most in some areas, 1 inch, lol).

We spent to day together and went out shopping. It was cold and we did not stay out long. It was more talking and just bonding.

We did go to Whole Foods for dinner and I wanted to try and find some brown shoes at Payless Shoes.

I could not find any shoes I liked or they were more than I wanted to spend.

At Whole Foods, we took out salads and I had a slice of pizza to go.  The food is good but expensive. The lady next to us calls the place, Whole Check, and I see why.

I had no problems being out. My mind and behavior is now that its just another day and I am out as I am. One of my issues is that I wonder if I am being too comfortable and I am beginning to show a male walk or mannerism. Because I am not concentrating on walking and projecting femininity.

Then again, I wonder if I am showing more femininity in my male appearance? I do not know and at this point, I do not really care.

My daughter referred to me a couple of times as Dad and that did not bother me. I think I look pretty good. I no longer care how about "passing". I know I am and I feel great.

Below are a few more pictures from Saturday.

 Mt daughter is a heavy snap chat user.

The above two photos were outside Payless Shoes.

Took a selfie on my daughter's coach.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Saturday January 7, 2017 - Made trip in snow.

There was not much snow in Atlanta or Chattanooga. Most of the snow fell between both cities. I drove through it late last night. It took me 4.5 hours to go 137 miles.

I had not driven in a snow storm in decades but it all came back to me.

I did not get in until 2:30 am and I talked with my daughter until 4 am.

We got up late this morning. She is a night owl as her work hours are from 2 pm until midnight.

Today my daughter and I are going out shopping and having lunch and dinner.

Its going to fun to have a girls day out.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Friday January 6, 2017 - Snow is coming to Atlanta. OMG!

It always makes me laugh when snow is announced in Atlanta. Being from New Jersey, this is nothing. My first snow storm in Atlanta was in 1974, as a Freshman. They shut the town down based on the mention of snow. Morehouse College closed and then it did not snow.

We northern and midwestern students laughed for days (years).

In 1982 I was in Snowjam 82, where the town was caught not ready. I had gone to the mall about 3 miles from my house. I tried to make it home, but it was the other drivers causing a dangerous situation. I was so upset. So I was stranded because they were running into everything. I had the walk home. It was then, that I decided these fools might kill me because they are doing 80 MPH on the expressway, hit a patch of ice and then decide to hit their brakes.

I am still planning to go visit my youngest daughter in Chattanooga for the weekend. We have planned a girls weekend out. So at this point I am still headed up there and will be back Sunday.

Hopefully, I will have some interesting posts about our girls weekend out.

Below is a video about Atlanta Snowjam 1982. I can not believe that was 35 years ago. I got married 8 months later and was in only my 3rd year as a College Professor.

It now seems like just yesterday. This is why we need to find happiness now or at least get on that path to it.

Friday January 6, 2017 - NatGeo short video

An intimate and powerful new video from National Geographic is telling the story of one transgender teen undergoing gender confirmation surgery and coming to live more fully as her authentic self.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Thursday January 5, 2017 - In Bright Red State of Kentucky.... Family Bathrooms?

Tuesday I drove from Atlanta to Cincinnati, Ohio for a project. I spent the night in Erlander, Ky and spent Wednesday morning with my client.

Wednesday afternoon, I drove back to Atlanta. While driving thru Daniel Boone National Forest, I needed to stop and buy gas.

So I ended up stopping at this small gas station. I was a little nervous because of past history but I needed the gas.

I had to go inside to pay first and notice a few other African American truckers, so I felt better. Of course the vast major were friendly and cool. But you do not know who is not and might say something so try to embarrass me in front of their friends. Its just something you keep in the back of your head due to past experience.

Well I had to go to the bathroom and saw two bathrooms. Both were gender neutral bathrooms.Wow, gender neutral bathrooms in the heart of Trump country. This gas station is located in Laurel County Kentucky. Look at the 2016 Presidential results in the county.

Trump won that county by almost 70 percentage points. Yet they switched the male/female bathrooms to gender neutral bathrooms.

There was a small slot machine room next to the bathrooms and both male and female patrons were in that room playing.

I liked the fact that I just had to choose either bathroom. If I were presenting as Susan, I would have no bathroom issue.

I am going to add that site to the refruge bathroom web site.

Never give up hope.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Wednesday January 4, 2017 - Mental Changes

I am 1 week away from completing HRT month 7.  I am now beginning to notice the mental changes in me. I am sure there are even more changes that I have not recognized yet.

But today I wanted to discuss some of these changes.
  1. My dysphoria is gone. Its hard to explain. I no longer have that driving desire to wear woman's clothes. Woman's clothes are part of my normal wardrobe and I include them in my wardrobe. I wear what I want to wear. It's about how I feel that morning. I feel like a woman all the time. How I want to  express that is up to me that day.
  2. I cry more. Not breaking down but I feel the emotion when, listening to certain songs, thinking about things or just a feeling hits me. I use to feel that emotion and could hold it in. Not anymore.
  3. Since high school, I only listened to talk radio. Either news, politics or sports. I never really listened to music unless it was dance music. Now, I only listen to music. I have not listened to talk radio in a couple of months. Since Karen and I went to a Christmas show, I have been listening to some Gospel music. But now I listen to and understand the meaning of the words and the power of the voices. I get it. It's not just a good beat but its the words. I now listen to music at night and fall asleep with it on.
  4. I am in a happier place. I find myself with more pep in my step. When I am out, I just feel better and want to interact with people even more than usual. .
  5. I use to be a very aggressive driver. Learning to drive New Jersey meant that I owned the road and others shared it with me, if I wanted them to. Now, I am a more courteous drive and I let people in front of me and I try to be nice. Driving activity from other that use to upset me, does not bother me anymore.
  6. As I have been saying earlier, I have a difficult time motivating myself to exercise. I still need it for weight control and health. It use to be easy for me to go 3 or 4 times a week. Monday was my first time in 2 months. I have got to find away  to get back in the gym.

As I recognize more mental.changes, I will let you know. Of course, physical changes are still occurring but they have slowed down. I will discuss those changes in a future post, probably next week during my monthly measurement.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Tuesday January 3, 2017 - Bra hunting today

There was a 50% off sale on every item in the local thrift store. So I decided to go bra hunting. I am a 36B now. My 36A bras are too small. I can wear a 36A bra in a pinch but they do not give me enough support.

I have been buying a few 36B bras since last fall. I have three of them. But I need a few more. I did find three bras at the thrift store that were my size. Two of them had problems with the filler inside the cups. They has creases that would not thin out.

The bra in the picture, was the only one I bought. I like the color and print.

Below are some pictures of bra styles and their names.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Monday January 2, 2017 - I told my brother-in-law about my transition

I was in Baltimore for the past week. While there, my brother-in-law and I usually check out some movies. So on both Tuesday and Thursday we went to the movies.

We saw Star Wars and Passenger. Both are our kind of movies. So we had a good time.

After the movies, we usually do dinner and talk. He is a Doctor with a pain clinic and he has a second business, which is a spa. He is about my age and reminds me of my Dad in that he was the first in his family to go to college and become a Dr. That's is an amazing feat.

Over the decades, he has leaned on me for business advise and I get medical advise from him.

Our politics do not match as he is a little to republican for me. But I have quite a few good friends like that and I enjoy the political discussions. We did not talk much during the Presidential Elections, but I suspect he was a Trump guy.

Also his religious views on LGBTQ issues differ from mine. He is caught up in the bathroom issue. So I decided while at dinner to discuss my transition with him.

I started by telling him that in the past year or so, two important things have happened to me. One was meeting my friend Karen at the exact time my Mother died and she has been a great sounding board. Two, was I started HRT in my transition and that I was a Transwoman.

Being a Doctor, he knows how to remain stoic and ask questions. I did not expect any major physical reaction.

So I gave him my crossdressing history and that now I am at a great place mentally, physical and even spiritually.

He asked a few basic questions about my HRT meds and that he did not know I was trans. I showed him a few recent pictures. His response was muted, which I expected. I also suspect he has transpeople in his pain clinic. I just wanted him to know, that he has a family member who he has known over 25 years, who is part of that community.

But I really wanted to use this time to move to the bathroom issue and the new Trump Administration.

He does not believe men should be in woman's bathrooms. I get that.

So I attempted to side step the main issue by saying that in the end the solution will benefit everyone. That solution is family bathrooms. Since he has one daughter, we both agreed that family bathrooms would have been nice during our children rearing days. We both agreed that we do not know how women with young boys handle bathroom issues. I stated that if men can not go into a woman's bathroom, then one option for woman with young boys could be legally cut off. That is taking the boy in the woman's bathroom.

I showed him my refuge restroom app that helps transpeople find safe bathrooms.

The whole bathroom issue is a cover for the overall discrimination that is hidden in the law. I showed him the youtube video from the Daily Show in which the North Carolina food truck randomly discriminates by refusing service to LGBTQ people based the owners' decision.

I stated that as African American males, we should understand random discrimination and that we should not stand for it against anyone.

I told him that the upcoming bathroom laws and religious freedom laws are nothing more that Jim Crow in a dress. He needs to support common sense laws that make all single stall bathrooms, family bathrooms. Or that fast food restaurants can have one family bathroom as an option instead of two gender specific bathrooms, if the bathroom has a single stall.

He stated that he saw my point and that my recommendations were reasonable.

He is coming to Atlanta later this week, to visit his daughter. We are going to talk some more about this.

One way I am going to fight the upcoming anti-LGBTQ laws, is to discuss the issue by discussing my transition with my friends. It will be one person at a time. I am going to start with my Republican friends.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Sunday January 1, 2017 - 2017 might be a loooong year.

2017 may be the year our community learns the difference between a supportive federal administration and one that wants us back in the closet..... or worse.