Before I setup my meeting with John, I called his mother. John had mentioned to my daughter that he had told his Mom. So I thought I should mention to her what I wanted to do. I had not come out to this distant part of my family, but I knew in order to help I needed to. I needed to at least let her to know that a positive outcome is possible. So when I told her last Monday, she pleaded with me to help. I told her I would try and keep her in the loop.
So after my lunch with John I called her Saturday morning. I did not tell her what John and I talked about because that was very private. But I told her I might be able to help but I need her to be my eyes and ears at the house. I wanted to create a "back channel" so I can see if John is actually trying to do what he tells me. Sort of like a spy. I hate to do that, but as a drug addict, he could be using me to further is habit or seek sympathy, I just do not trust his short term motivates until after he is clean and working. Plus I am not use to working with drug addicts, so her information would he very helpful.
It was the first time she saw Susan and her response made my day.
I think I am slowly but surely coming along. This is one of those nice events that occur during my journey.
BTW, the Friday meeting was very fortuitous because the family is going to attempt an intervention on Tuesday. Hopefully our lunch will help him decided to take the opportunity to get well and for him to know his Aunt Susan will be there to help.
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteBased on what you wrote in your post, it sure sounds like you're doing the right thing. I've got to believe that John's addiction and depression is due to gender dysphoria. While just about any therapist will say that someone like John should be treated by a professional, I do think that it did him (her?) a lot of good to meet Susan. John should see a therapist but the therapist should be someone specializing in gender issues.
If the parents feel you're getting in the way, you should look at a post I did on my own blog a year ago called She's Finally Happy (I think that's what I called it).
I featured your last post on T-Central.
Hope it all works out. John is lucky to have you as a like-minded cousin (aunt?).
Calie
Thank you for featuring that post. I hope my work with John will inspire more of us to help. Sometimes we concentrate too much on ourselves. However by helping others, we help ourselves. I realize, Susan has value. Its not all negative.
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