Saturday June 6, 2015 - Gender Fluidity is a gift not a curse

I have been saying in my blog that I have finally come to the conclusion that my transgenderism is a gift and not a curse.

I like the phase gender fluidity because it encompasses all of the varies gender options, including both extreme masculinity and femininity. But we are all finding our own position of the gender chart and that position can move over time.

I am 58 years old and remember wearing my mom's clothes as early as 8 years old. So its been 50 years. During most of those 5 decades, I have been in the closet scared to express my inner femininity.

Lately, I have realized that even though I was hiding in the closet, my femininity made me a better person. It helped me in so many ways that at its core my femininity is a gift.

When my daughters were young and in ballet class, I would help them with their makeup before the recital. I remember one night while putting on my daughter's makeup, a lady asked where I learned to put on makeup because I was doing such a good job. I had an answer ready by saying my mother had a makeup company and I had to learn how to apply make up to help her sell her products.

But I really learned from an Avon representative that taught Tri-Ess members how to apply make up.

I have always been a caring guy. In the 1970's while in college, I had some friends who use to call out women in public. Yelling at them about their clothes or appearance. I remember sitting in the car and thinking if that woman was me, I would not like men yelling those things at me. So I would tell them not to do that while I was in the car.  I soon stopped hanging out with them.

My whole adult life, I have been a teacher. I love helping people. Over my 30+ years of teaching, it was not the money but it was seeing my former students become successful and coming back to thank me. It's not that men can not be teachers or caring. But for me its part of my long-term goal of sending positive Karma into the world and I believe it originates from my inner femininity.

My 6 year old granddaughter is very prissy. She loves to wear dresses, plays with barbies, constantly paints her nails and loves jewelry. Since she moved in, she is constantly raiding my jewelry box and nail polish. So I surprised her last week. I took one of my clear plastic zip lock bags and bought a variety of nail polish colors. I covered the clear bag with images of Hello Kitty, Barbie and Power puff girls.

She was so happy. I did it because I know what its like to have a some of your own nail polish that you can use to experiment and practice. She thought the carrying case was so cute and she loved the stickers.

I believe that gender fluid individuals have the best of both worlds. As society slowly opens up to us, we need to use our gift to help point society into a more caring and tolerant direction.