At the time, I said no for a variety of reasons. The main reason was that "crossdressing" was not a joke to me. I did not want to wear something that was funny, mocked woman or did not look convincing.
If I were to crossdress, I wanted to look good.
Second, I was basically, by being in this youth group, it was being told indirectly that wanting to crossdress was bad and telling anyone about it was bad. So why would I expose myself?
But as I think about it now, I think my mother was being more helpful that I thought and was trying to help me in her own 1960's way. Later in the 1990's she embraced my crossdressing. She even spent the day with me shopping and having lunch as Susan. She even complimented me and said I looked like an aunt of hers. During my May 1996 trip to Hilton Head, she took me shopping to buy a few outfits for the trip.
I now think that if I were growing up today's society, she would have embraced my femininity and my Dad would have gone along. My mother was very head strong but from behind the scenes because it was the 1950' and 1960's. In today's society she would have supported me more directly.
My mother passed away 11 months ago. This Halloween, I am going to do something special for her.
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