While we were figuring out where to eat, we began to talk about Jeffrey, my transcousin who died in 1984. I brought up the fact that my sister is having a problem with my transgenderism, because of her religion. My two first cousins stated that they have talked to my sister and agree that she is trying to understand but is not there yet. She has shown more emotion while talking with my cousins than while talking with me.
I turned to my second cousin, Joe and explained to him that I am a transwoman and the impact Jeffrey, who is four years older than me, and his brother had on me. I asked Joe, who is three years older than me, what really happened during that time.
I asked him, if the "crossdressing" caused Jeffery to get kicked out of high school. Joe said no, and that he never crossdressed at school. He got kicked out of school because he went on an overnight school trip, for honor students, in the Poconos. During that trip he got drunk and his parents had to drive up there to retrieve him.
I find that hard to believe, but I will take his word. He then stated that the first time he saw his brother dressed as a woman was at a high school party.
Also, his parents did not kick him out of the house but sent him to a clinic in Seattle, Washington the help him stop "crossdressing". He stayed there a few years, with a friend and then came home.
He really did not respond to my revelation. He stated his brother and his transfriend came home in the late 1970's and because very religious until he passed.
I was disappointed in this discussion because I feel he sugar coated this issue, but I am not going challenge him. I just wish we had a more detailed discussion. But I felt he did not really want to discuss it.
Given the reason for this trip and his health, I am feeling, this maybe the last time I see him. I really wanted to discuss Jeffery in more detail, but I dropped it.
The reason I know, Joe knows more than he is saying, is because we all knew at an early age Joe was gay. We did not know about Jeffery until he came out in high school. To this day Joe has never come out. He just says he stayed with him Mom after his parent's divorce and moved to her family home in Mississppi in 1988. He took care of his Mother until she died in 2009.
Also, I have letters Jeffery wrote to my father while he was in Seattle. He seemed to be living there as a female and living in a poor condition.
Joe has always been asexual to us, but we assumed he was gay and we loved him the way he is. We has a great sense of humor and has always been fun to be around. Even during this trip we have laughed so much discussing our parents and grand parents, warts and all. It has been very enlightening. Plus its has been so much fun to reconnect and discuss events in which we all have different memories.
I have learned that sometimes, live is not like a movie and we will not get all of the answers we want.
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