This trip could not have come at a better time. I have not seen my second cousin Joe in over 40 years. I remember when someone saying "40 years" was an unfathomable amount of time. Now it seems like yesterday.
As I stated yesterday, I did not get all of my answers about my cousin Jeffery's "crossdressing" in the 1970's. My cousin Joe did not want to get into it. He is going thru radiation therapy for Stage 3 colon cancer. So this reunion was very important to him and I have this feeling that it maybe our last meeting
My two first cousins are very support for my transition. Talking about our parents, grandparents and others, who are no longer on this earth, answered many questions.
Event hough we only lived a few miles apart and saw each other often while growing up, they had no idea about my "crossdressing". We discussed how society has changed so much and is now more accepting as we become more knowledgeable about LGBT issues. Our parent's and grandparent's generation were less definitely less so..
One of my cousins married a white man in 1975 and moved to SF. They were but bisexual and between the LGBT and racial issues, moving to SF was best. BTW he was also, Jewish. So both sets of parents, located in NJ, were not jumping for joy about their relationship. It lasted about 20 years. They came back to NJ in the 1990's and got divorced. They are both still good friends. But her husband "married" a guy and so did my cousin in 2004.
There was so much LGBT activities inside my extended NJ family during the early 1970's. But there was no discussion about it within that extended family. Our parents kept it away from us. They might have talked about it among themselves, but definitely not with our generation.
Now its 2016 and as I move forward, I think about how these issues are talked about more and society is more accepting. We still have more work to do, but society is moving in the right direction.
I do not know how long this blog may have new posts or how long this blog will remain active after I stop posting. But I want this to become a resource for future generations to understand this time period. A time capsule for the future about the past.
We have to be satisfied about getting some of our answers, instead of all of them. I don't ask why I'm transgender, nor do I worry about it. But I have other things I am curious about, one of them coming up as we empty my dad's house. My mom was a heavy handed tyrant, and I still suffer (in certain situations) from what she did to me as a child. My brother unearthed some film that showed her as a caring person - something neither of us remember. We both wonder about one thing: What caused her to change? And neither of us are likely to find out.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I delve into my story? Just to remind you that we never know enough about our families. LGBT issues in many families is often not talked about, and is often hushed up. But the need to be one's true self never can be completely suppressed for long. And the families will often have stories they are ashamed of, even when there is no reason for shame....
M