Thursday, March 23, 2017

Thursday March 23, 2017 - I had a meeting with a transgender student

About two months ago, I was eating lunch at the college cafeteria and noticed a student with eyeliner and fake eyelashes. After I made my salad, I sat next to him and told him I liked his eyelashes. He smiles and thus began a discussion about being a transwoman.

Since, then we have met for lunch a few more times. Two days ago, He (I am going to use the male pronoun because of how he is presenting while in college) emailed me about wanting to talk about HRT.

Yesterday, we met for lunch. He stated that he talked to his parents and was interested in starting HRT and moving toward womanhood and SRS.

I spent 1 hour discussing the issue in detail with him.

First he stated that our previous meetings gave him the nerve to tell him parents. He only wished he could have done it while he was a pre-teen, so he could transition earlier. I smiled and said, I would like to have started HRT at 30 instead of 60 but its not about the past and at 21, he has 50 years or more to live as a woman, so do not worry losing 8 years. Also at 21, the hormones will still make a major change both physically and emotionally.

He likes and dates men, and finds being transwoman more difficult in his dating life. He would like to become a woman, so he can date "straight" men. I told him that transitioning is so much more that your sex life or even your dating life.

I went over with him, what HRT has done to me over the past 10 months. Physically, I love the feminine changes, but you lose your sex drive and your male part does not work the same. The mental changes are even more impactful.

I recommended that he needs to finish college (3 semesters away), go to graduate school and concentrate on getting highly educated, so he can get a high paying career that will allow him to transition easier. He is a sociology major.  Many graduate schools aggressively seek Morehouse College graduates so  he should be able to get a masters degree or PhD at no cost to him.

I discussed the elimination of his beard. Of course he shaves, but I could tell by his beard shadow, that he has a heavy beard. I showed him a picture of me, when I was a college student and that it took four years at over $10,000 to get rid of it.

I told him that while he is spending the next four years getting educated, he should eliminate his beard.

At the end, he agreed that he will wait and not start HRT now. His main reason is that he does not want to lose his sex drive and that he is successful at presenting as a part-time female. He wants to transition but sees that waiting until he is financially ready is very important.

I am not against his transition nor is starting of HRT, I just wanted him to understand the importance of being ready financially and reaching his maximum education level. It will make the transition so much easier.


  1. Susan
    You did this young man a 'solid'. Momma karma should be smiling at you.

  2. Thanks. I agree, I do not think he is ready yet. But I did not want to tell him that. So I talked him into seeing while waiting is better.