Thursday, April 30, 2015

Thursday April 30, 2015 - My Homemade Skincare Lotion

I am into homemade remedies.

I got this hobby from my father's mother. She was born in Texas in 1902 and made the best food from scratch. I remember she use to make soap, toothpaste and medicines.

We, the grand children use to laugh at her because she reminded us of Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.

When I went to college, in 1974, I tried making some of her soap and medicines. I was not that good at it. The soap made me breakout. I never told her or anyone else about it because that was woman's work.

I use to wish I could sit by her in the kitchen and learn. But I was told to go outside and play.

Over the past six months, I came up with my own skin care lotion. I have talked about using it in the past, but today, I had to make another batch, so I decided to give directions on how I make it.

I make an 8 oz batch of lotion that I use on my face and hands. The picture on the left is what it will look like when I am finished. Because it has a coconut oil based, it is liquid when warm and solid when cold.

I use a small 8 oz plastic bottle with a squeeze top. The bottle will squeeze slightly, but when the lotion is in solid form, it can be very hard to get out. Especially when the bottle is almost empty.

My lotion is made of Coconut Oil, Caster Oil, Olive Oil, Lavender and Tea Tree Oil.

The Coconut Oil and Caster Oil are the main ingredients of the lotion.

The Olive Oil, Lavender and Tea Tree Oil are used in smaller amounts.

I use the following items to make my lotion. I have a measuring cup, a small glass cup for warming the Coconut Oil in the microwave, in case its in a solid state.

I have a funnel to pour the ingredients in the bottle. Finally, I have three measuring utensils: 1 teaspoon (not shown), 1 tablespoon, 1/4 cup and 1/2 cup

The two major ingredients are measured first.

I use 5 tablespoons of Coconut oil. Coconut oil gives your skin a nice smooth feel and assists in hair growth. I use it on my eyebrows and eyelashes to strengthen them and help them grow. If its in a solid state, I put it in the glass cup and microwave it for 40 seconds or until its liquid but warm and hot.

The major problem with Coconut Oil, is the smell. I do not want to spell like Coconut Oil all day.

I pour the warm Coconut Oil in the bottle. Then I add 3 tablespoons of Castor Oil into the bottle. The Castor Oil is good for hair and skin care.

Now, I move to the small ingredients. I add 2 teaspoons of Olive Oil. Olive Oil is good for the skin and appears to have many healing properties. So I decided to add  a little in my lotion.

Lavender is used in a small about, 1/2 teaspoon to improve the smell of the lotion and it has been known to have estrogenic properties. I doubt I am taking enough to have much affect, but I decided to add it for both smell and possible transgender properties.

I add 10 drops of Tea Tree Oil for the same reason I added Lavender. Both its smell and estrogenic properties.

Once mixture is complete, I shake it for about 1 minute and then let it sit. It will usually solidify during day. However, in the Hotlanta summers, it will stay in liquid form.

I use this lotion with both my morning and evening body care routine. In my daily routine, I include Vitamin E separately, which is why I did not add it in this lotion.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Wednesday April 29, 2015 - TG Movies and TV shows

Its exciting how the media has taken to showing transgender characters in television and movies. There are new project appearing often. I have listed current and future projects under the menu tab "Trans TV and Movies ".

This is a summary page as of the end of April 2015. Check back for additional projects as they are announced.

Below are 11 media programs that star and deal with transgender issues. I have video promos for eight of them. The other two, Bruce Jenner realty show and Laverne Cox in Doubt, do not have a promo video up yet. If I missed any, please let me know and I will add it.

Girls on the Block
This is a  Mini Series that follows the live of several transgender people in Kansas City Mo. It's currently airing on Discovery Life Channel.

Bruce Jenner
Everyone knows about "The Interview". Coming this summer is his reality show documenting his transition. Below is the promo video for the interview, which has taken place.

This is the award winning TV show on Amazon Video about an older man transitioning to womanhood. There were 10 episodes for Season 1. Season 2 will hit Amazon in the Fall 2015.

Jazz Jennings
The young 14 year old will have her own realty show on TLC called All That Jazz, starting in the summer of 2015. She is also a spokeswoman for Clean and Clear face wash.

Orange  is the new Black
The award winning show on Netflix, brought transgender issues to a more mainstream audience with Laverne Cox. It will be back for Season #3. There have been 26 episodes. 13 each of the first two seasons.

The Swtich
A new TV comedy series staring a mostly transgender cast poking fun at their life issues. It was started with funding from Kickstarter.

NBC News Service
NBC Nightly News has series within its network news program, where young transgender children are profiled. List of episodes

American Transgender
This is a national geographic series. List of episodes

Boy Meets Girl
This movie has been out a couple of years. Its about a transgirl in high school.

Laverne Cox will star as a regular character in this legal industry based CBS TV series. It will begin airing this fall and Ms. Cox will play a transgender lawyer with a love interest.

The Prancing Elites Program
This Oxygen reality show is about five dancers from Mobile Alabama. I do not know if I like the possible stereotypes of this show.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Tuesday April 28, 2015 - Femboy Day - What to wear

I could not decide what to wear.  Also, I exercised late last night and over slept. I got up, showered and tried to figure out what to wear.

This first outfit was based around the shirt. This morning, its cool outside but it will warm up. So I wanted a Spring look. I have the orange top with blue skinny jeans. I have a grey hat and brown Payless flats.

I do not have a necklace on  because I did not have one that worked with that shirt.

I did have on two bracelets and rings in a brown and orange color set. This outfit was OK, but to me orange and brown are fall colors. There is no color pop in this outfit.

Its kind of blah, which is how I feel today.
 This second outfit has the color I am looking for that says Spring. Its my yellow skinny leggings from Goodwill. I added a brown based T-shirt. I bought this T-shirt Sunday from the Goodwill.. It's brown but has the yellow in the print.

The sleeves are short. so a jacket is needed. I added the white based jacket with an ocean theme. The jacket has yellow that matches the pants.

Notice, I have on multi-color sneakers that have yellow in it. I wish I has yellow shoelaces. I did not, so I used white shoelaces. This T-Shirt allowed me to add a nice necklace made with a yellow based rock.

Because the pant length is a little short, I added a silver anklet.

I like this outfit, but its better suited for the ocean or beach. I definitely would have worked in Jekyll Island this past weekend. But I am not feeling it for today in Atlanta.  

I decided to wear the first outfit, but to change the shoes from flats to the multi-color sneakers. The sneakers add color and a causal look to the outfit.

I had the run out to get to my appointment.

After my appointment, I need to come home and work. So I am not going to get out much. Hopefully, I can run errands or visit my brother later in the week.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Monday April 27, 2015 - Goodwill Haul

Yesterday, I was driving back from Jekyll Island on the Georgia Coast. It's about a 5 or 6 hour drive from Atlanta.
  • You head north of I-95 to Savannah. 
  • Hang a left onto I-16 for 2 hours. 
  • I-16 deadends into I-75 in Macon. 
  • Head north 1 hour on I-75 into Atlanta.

I decided to stop in Metro Savannah and visit a local Goodwill Store. As I entered the store, I asked the young clerk what was the color of the day.

She told me blue and said the blue marked clothing items were $0.50 each. I was shocked.  Maybe I did not hear correctly. So, I asked again did she mean 50% off, like in Atlanta. The clerk said no, its $0.50 per clothing item.

I did not have much time, but I went crazy.I ended up paying the four items pictures below for $2.00 and another $1.40 for taxes.

And the real crazy part is that on the first Saturday of the month, that is Saturday coming up, all store clothing will be $0.50 per item.

Here are the four items I bough. The total cost of all four was $2.14.

 I bought these two T-shirts to add to my exercise wardrobe and my summer Femboy wardrobe.

They both have long hemlines and will make nice outerwear T-shirts over a different color underneath T-shirt. The low neckline will allow the underneath T-shirt to show across the chest..

I bought a pair of brown yoga pants that will allow me to create a dark brown exercise outfit and provide a change of pace for my orange outfit.

The shirt will allow me to create another spring/summer Femboy outfit. It has some purple along with the dark blue color.

Overall I love this haul and wish I had more time.But I had to get back to Atlanta.

I have been thinking about getting some ladies together and taking a day long road trip (4 hours) down to that store for the first Saturday of the Month sale.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Sunday April 26, 2015 - I am at Jekyll Island Georgia

I was in Jekyll Island, Georgia for the weekend. I had to inspect some property for a client.

Jekyll Island is a barrier island on Georgia’s coast – midway between Jacksonville, Fla. and Savannah, Ga. Accessible by car just minutes from I-95, Jekyll Island offers a variety of amenities, including 10 miles of beach, four golf courses, a 250-acre Historic Landmark District, the Georgia Sea Turtle Center, Summer Waves Water Park, tennis center, an array of lodging options including hotels, cottages and campgrounds. Owned by the State of Georgia, and managed by the Jekyll Island State Park Authority, Jekyll Island has had development limited to just 35 percent of its available land area. This unique aspect of Jekyll Island serves to preserve the critical barrier island ecosystem, and provide guests with a unique escape from the crowds and complications of other beach resort destinations.

I did not get a chance to see the Bruce Jenner interview. I did read a few articles about it and my brother called me Saturday to talk about.

But I am too nervous to watch it. I am worried that it might hit too close to home.

Today I am driving the six hours back to Atlanta.

Hopefully, I can talk myself into watching the whole interview.

Any readers who watched the interview, please leave your comments. I hope your comments will help me decide.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Saturday April 25, 2015 - Human Rights Campaign - Transgender Poll

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) just released the finding of their annual national survey concerning public opinion of the transgender community.

There is more good news. This is another poll showing that things are getting better. But there is still more work to be done.

Their national survey reveals a significant uptick in the number of Americans who say they personally know or work with someone who is transgender, and a corresponding increase in favorable feelings toward transgender people.

This survey supports what I am seeing when I am out in public and what I am trying to accomplish. I believe that if more of us can find away to get out of the closet (even part-time) and interact with the general public, family members and/or fellow employees, it will significantly help the whole community.

The survey results show that the percentage of people who personally know someone who is transgender has increased from 9% in 2013 to 19% in 2014 to 22% in 2015. That is a positive trend that is definitely going in the right direction. However, there is a long way to go, this data means that 78% of the public do not know someone. At least they think they do not.

Over the last couple of months, I told my siblings (brother and sister). I happen to talk to my brother today and he stated he talked with our sister today about me. They talked over an hour as my sister is having mixed emotions about me. But he said she is working on it.

This is interesting because my sister has called me and text me to ask me questions about my transition. When I was in New Jersey a couple of weeks ago, she asked me if I told any of my friends or cousins. I told her not yet because I still have my third daughter to talk to. I am starting with the closest to me and then moving outward.

These survey results motivate me to tell more people.

Another important data point is that those who knew someone who is a transgender person, 66 percent expressed favorable feelings toward them, compared with 13 percent who did not -- a net favorability of +53 percentage points. For those  who don’t know someone the rating is 37 favorable, 30 unfavorable, a net of only +7.

This is further indication that by interacting with people on a personal level, it will move the needle forward, in a positive direction.

Finally the attitudes toward transgender Americans have steadily improved. HRC asked likely voters, “Now, I'd like to rate your feelings toward some people, groups and ideas,” and asked them to rate “transgender Americans as favorable or unfavorable."

Favorability/Unfavorability of “Transgender people”
1/31/15        44/25 Net: +19
3/16/14        38/28 Net:  + 9
7/9/11          26/36  Net:  - 9

In the past 36 months, the net favorable has increased 28 points from -9 to +19. The exciting part is that the favorable rating is getting close to 50%.

With those new TV shows coming out over the next 12 months, I believe the favorable rating could reach 50% within 12 months. Based on the past 36 months, the next 12 months will see an increase by 9 points to 53%. So 50% seems reasonable for 2016.

Everyone can do something. Even if you are not a transgender person or you want to remain in the closet, support the community by providing positive information about transgender people. Correct people who make a negative statement about the community. Refer people to positive information about the community.

Let's help the public move forward.

UPDATE: Bruce Jenner will help tremendously, because now more people know someone.
Watch Interview

Friday, April 24, 2015

Friday April 24, 2015 - Exercising this week

I worked out three days, this week. I like to go in late at night and watch the NBA basketball game while I use the elliptical machine 60 to 100 minutes. The amount of time I spend depends on how many calories I ate that day and how I feel.

I now wear female workout clothes only. Below are my outfits for each day last week.

This is my pink outfit. I have pink yoga pants with matching Payless sneakers. I added pink shoelaces for additional color. I have a grey undershirt and a grey t-shirt with the multi-color print on the side of the shirt. The multi-color T-shirt has print that includes the pink found in the pants and sneakers.

I worked out for 90 minutes and burned about 1,000 calories.

I had no issues with this outfit and just did my work and the left for home. I showered, once I get home.

This is my grey and blue outfit. I have on grey yoga pants. I took my black Payless shoes and changed the shoelaces to blue. This blue can be found in the shirt. The shirt has a similar blue which is on the front name and on the shoulder strips.

I have a grey T-shirt underneath which you can not see, but matches the yoga pants.

I was tired, so I only completed only 60 minutes on the elliptical.

Yesterday, I wore my orange and brown outfit. I have a pair of knee length orange/yellow sweat pants. I added orange shoe laces. I have on the same black sneakers I used earlier.

I have on a brown t-shirt with orange lettering. Over that T-shirt is and another orange T-shirt.

The problem with this outfit are my legs. Since I wear pants all the time, my legs are much lighter than my arms and face. I usually tan them in late May, when the weather is warmer. Until them, these light hairless legs really need stockings. But stocking or trouser socks that will not work while in the gym, so my legs will have to have a unique (?) look for another month.

I watched the New Orleans vs Golden State game that went into overtime. So I did 100 minutes of cardio.

If you notice in all three pictures, my outer T-shirt has a longer hemline. I use that for cover when wearing yoga pants. So I look for longer women T-shirts to wear over the first T-shirt. In the orange outfit, that picture does not show the outer T-shirt rolled down. But it has a lower hemline for cover. I did roll that T-shirt down before I started my workout.

All three days were great. I had no issues. One day, I forget which, did notice a couple walking by and the lady looked at me, whispered something and the guy glanced back at me.

I am sure she was complimenting me on my figure.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Thursday April 23, 2015 - Electrology and Pedicure

On Tuesday, I had my weekly electrology session. This past weekend, I tried the lemon scrub. Last Tuesday, my electrologist told me about using an oatmeal scrub and a lemon scrud. I talked about this on a previous post.

I decided to try the lemon scrub. I took a slice of a recently purchased lemon and squeezed the juice out of it.

Then I rubbed the lemon all over my face until was face was soaked with lemon and parts of lemon endocarp and carpel on my face.

I let it sit on my face for less than a minute as it began to sting. I washed the juice and carpel pieces off my face.

Wow, my face felt so smooth.  I  put some liquid Vitamin E to soothe on my face.

So I told my electrologist and she reminded me to perform that scrub about every two weeks. So in the beginning of May, I will try the oatmeal scrub to see how my face will react. But I am  definitely going to do the lemon  scrub, once a month. Plus the lemon scrub will help clean up some skin discoloration down my neck from shaving the past 4 decades. My facial hair under my neck grows in different directions. I do not have bumps, ingrown hairs or pits. But I do have some darker areas. I hope to even out the skin tone with the lemon scrub.

Once I finished my hour under the electrology needle, I headed to my favorite nail salon for a pedicure. I had not had one in over four weeks and my nails showed it. My polish was coming off and my nails were getting too long.

When I got there, the owner and her assistant, my tech, both said hello. Each of them were working on a lady, so I sat in the waiting area until called. Luckily another tech walked in to start work. She drew the water for me and called me over to have a seat.

I sat next to one of the ladies having a pedicure by my regular tech. The younger lady asked, if I wanted to wait for my regular tech. I said no, but I will use her next time. Today, I was short on time.

The young lady did a very good job. I used a similar color as last time. While I was having my pedicure, a few more ladies came in. Like last time another daughter/mother team came in to have a manicure.

I wish my mom and I could have done that. I seems like a right of passage for some young teens with their moms. I am thinking about asking my daughters if they would like to do with me and have pedicures.

I told the lady next to me that I liked the nail color she picked. It was a purple color with small silver specks and it looked good against her darker skin. She said thank you. I had not gotten to the polish section, so she could not return the compliment, if she wanted to.

That was Ok, I am trying to just have simple conversations with people around me in a more feminine manner and voice. Its going to take time, but everything I read about voice work says practice.

Once the young tech finished painting my nails, she asked if I wanted a design on my big toe. I said yes, so my regular tech who was finished with the lady next to me, came over and completed the design.

I liked the nail color and the design. Both ladies both did a great job.

I bring my own flip flops because of my big (Size 12 Ugh) feet for a woman. We all can't be perfect. I wish I was size 10 or less, but I would not want to trade any of my positive attributes for smaller feet. Just work with what God gave you.

They placed my flip flops on my feet and I walked over to the drying station. I read a Vogue magazine while I waited for my nails to dry.

Once dried, I paid the cashier and walked to my car with my flip flops on.

I drove around for awhile before I decided to get some gas. I put my flats back on, because the flip flops did not match my outfit.

After I got gas, I went home to complete some work.

Overall, it was a normal day. My Femboy days are not only normal but sometimes I feel like I am crossdressing when in boy mode.

I am incorporating my Femboy voice and actions into my boy mode. An example would be looking women in the face and not the chest or hips. Another is eating slower and sitting and walking more erect. Also while standing, create a slight S-shape with a knee bend to tilt my hips.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Wednesday April 22, 2015 - Tuesday was a weekly Femboy day

If its Tuesday, its Femboy day. I have my weekly electrologist appointment and a few errands to run. Also I need a pedicure.

I had to go to the bank before my appointment. I do not go inside the bank that much anymore. But I had to cash a check and deposit most of the money in my account.

I went inside. The security guard said hello and opened the door for me. I said thank you.

Once inside I headed for the table in the middle of the bank floor. It had the deposit slips and pen required to sign the check and complete the deposit slip. A guy came up next to me and completed one of the forms. There were three people waiting to see an associate and two people in line. By the time, I completed filling out my deposit slip, the last person in the teller line, walked to the teller. So I was next in line. While waiting in line I try to keep my back straight by pulling in my stomach and standing straight. I want to add an S-shape to my silhouette by slightly bending one knee or tilting my hip.

People were coming and going in the bank and I did not see any strange looks or whispering. It took a while before a teller became available.

One I got to her, I said hello and gave her my driver's license. Oh boy. That license in 10 years old. Its up for renewal this summer. There are three things wrong with my picture: 1) I was 65 lbs larger 2) I had a Larry from the 3 Stooges haircut and 3) boy mode.

The teller looked at the picture and gave my ID back to me without saying anything. I laughed to myself, am I still that fat and male? She told me that because of the account I had, it would be better if I cash the check with her, but deposit the cash thru the outside ATM. If she took the deposit, I would be charged $12. I said thank you, I appreciated her recommenadtion.

She cashed the check and gave it me. I turned around to leave and the lady behind me gave we a strange look with no smile. I smiled back and said hello. If she had a problem with my look then kill them with kindness.

I then walked outside to the ATM. There was a young guy using the ATM. I picked up that faint body odor smell that I know smell on guys. So I stepped back a little further, so he could finish his transaction. He left and I used the ATM. I noticed in the corner of my eye the security guard walking back toward me. Once I finished, I passed him and he said have a nice day. I said thank you. I got in my car and left.

As I headed for my appointment, I thought about that visit as another milestone. That branch use to be one of my regular branches years ago. I would have never gone to that branch as a Femboy even 6 months ago. This time, no problem.

Tomorrow, I will discuss my electrology session and my pedicure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Tuesday April 21, 2015 - Finally got a hater

I have been writing this blog for one year. I was inspired my many blogger whom I have been reading over the years. Of course, like most people Femulate by Stana is one of the best. But there are others I admire, which are listed down the right hand column.

Often, I have stated that since I have been feminizing my clothes, the public has been receptive or indifferent.  This is a marked difference from  the 1990's and early 2000's which was the last time I was out.

I have not run into one negative person, while out. I have met and talked with many, while in public who are supportive or at least made positive comments. This has made me more confident and comfortable. I feel great and at ease now, when I am out in public.

In this blog, I have 39 comments and late last night I finally received my first hateful comment. I deleted it.

But then I decided I am going to show it and talk about it. I want to do this to let others know, there are still haters out there but they are such a small number.

This comment was sent early this morning, after this person read my post from last Thursday. I had my face on that post.

Now I will admit, I am not the prettiest girl at the party. But I am trying.

More importantly, given that since January 2015, there have been 74,000 total page views, (growing each week) and based on Google Analytics about 50,000 people have visited. Of those 50,000 people, about 20,000 are returnees.

So there has been about 30,000 new people who have visited this site since January 1, 2015. Of that number, about 1 person per thousand left a positive comment. So this one negative comment could represent about 1,000 visitors who felt the same way.

Overall, I think it is a positive situation that only 1 out of  30 people may not like me or this site. Over my life, I have had a much higher number than that not like me. Whether  at work or in business, high school or college, little league or YMCA. My haters were a higher percentage than 3.3%.

This comment, in particular shows the lack of mental depth from Anonymous. Anonymous must be so proud of the intellectual statement, that he left his name. It sounds like elementary school taunting from K-12 grade. Remember those days of:: You are ugly. No, you are ugly. No, you are ugly.

I have always tried to ignore the haters because what they want is a response. Growing up as the only African-American young boy in the neighborhood, I learned early to ignore taunts and just find friends. I had many friends and some of them would stick up for me.

My response to bullying is to tell them to go for it. One of the great things about this county is that everyone is  entitled to their opinion. And others might think this person is correct.

But a better comment would have been to support why I am ugly. Which they obviously could not do. :-}

I wrote this post to let others know that there are always going to be haters, but do not let them ruin your life. When you are out in public or on-line, be who you are and carry yourself with dignity and grace. Do not get down to their level because they probably have other issues.

How many times do we read about the homophobic bully who later comes out. Or the abuser who was abused themselves.

There is no way we are going to be 100% loved. But I will take 96.7% any day.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Monday April 20, 2015 - Not feeling well today

It is cloudy, rainy and just a bad day for the third day in a row. It has rained hard for two or three days in a row.

I woke up this morning, not feeling well. I do not have a cold, I just do not feel well.

In the past I talked about Karma and that I think people are interconnected in ways we do not understand.

I am going to take the day off and see if I can feel better. I worry when I have days like this that some bad news or something bad may happen to me or someone I know.

This got me thinking about global climate change. The climate is changes and I will save the politics for another site, but with the climate changing, what impact does it have on humans and other living creatures.

Since we are all connected, a change in the climate is probably having an effect on us. One of those effects could be more violence against other people and thing, by individuals, groups and counties.

I watched the movie Lucy, last night. I liked that movie because it discusses some of the ideas I have about interconnection, time and space. I believe that time and space are additional dimensions that can be manipulated.

So my bad feeling could be due to my interconnection to someone or something I hold dear over the time continuum (sorry trekkie speak).

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sunday April 19, 2015 - Response from yesterday's poll.

Yesterday I posed a question about the use of the word Femboy. I received an email in which I was told Femboy was a derogatory word.

So I asked for comments on Reddit and took a poll here.

The poll results were overwhelming in support of the word. That Femboy is not a derogatory word.
82% of the 77 votes said No

An interesting development is the change in the age of this blog's readership.
In the January 2015 poll
Ages 19-25      8.5%
Ages 45+       65%

In the April 2015 poll
Ages 19-25   45%
Ages 45+      16%

This blog is now reaching a much younger audience.

I received 43 comments through Reddit. They were overwhelmingly positive, stating that Femboy is not a derogatory word. But in some cases, it depends on how its used.

Based on the poll and comments, I will continue to use Femboy as long as it fits me.

Below are a sample of  some of  the Reddit comments.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Saturday April 18, 2015 - Poll: Is Femboy a derogatory label?

Yesterday, I received an email from a new reader that said the word Femboy was derogatory. I did not know that. However, being older, maybe I am missing something.

I thought it was a better label then words like sissy and faggot, that were used over the past decades. It was my opinion that the younger generation had labeled a group of genderfluid people, feminine men and labeled them Femboys.

I liked it, because, we would all like to be younger and for me, I have always wanted to be more feminine. So it seemed like an accurate label. Except at close to 60, I do not know if boy is that accurate anymore. But Femgrandpa (?), no way.

For me its a label that works given my current transitional state. That label probably will not work as I continue to present more female. But now my presentation still tilts male.

I do not want to offend anyone. So I am asking you, the reader, what is your opinion?  I have two poll questions and I would really appreciate it if you would participate.

I added age, just to gauge the average reader.

Thank you, in advance

Please select your age group?

Under 18
19 - 25
26 - 35
36 - 45
46- 55
56 and above
Poll Maker

Do you consider Femboy derogatory? and if so, which word(s) would you replace it with.

Please Specify:
Poll Maker

Friday, April 17, 2015

Friday April 17, 2015 - My Tuesday Femboy Day

Along with my electrology appointment and my evening playing dress up, I spent most of the day as a Femboy.

It now feels normal presenting this way. So, I ran many errands.

Kroger - Has to get my eye drop prescription renewed. I have been using this Kroger pharmacy for about three years and every month I get a refill. So they are use to seeing me in boy mode. Today I went in Femboy mode. This is a large Kroger grocery store. I went inside and walked across the cashier lines to get to the pharmacy. I had no issues at the store. There were a few customers waiting for their medicine. I walked up, gave them my name and paid. I bought a few other small items which I paid for at the pharmacy cashier. I walked in front of all 16 cashiers and left the store.

Dollar Tree - In the same shopping center was a Dollar Tree store. I needed some stockings. I did not want to pay the prices Kroger had, so I went to the Dollar Tree store. They has stockings for a dollar, but I did not like the feel of them. Its so funny how picky I am with female items but with male items, I do not care.

So I left the store without buying anything.

Goodwill - I was going to be early to my electrology appointment, so I went to a new Goodwill Store that opened in January. I always look for hats, yoga pants, and now summer blouses. I only had about 30 minutes and I did not find anything. One of the employees asked if I need help. I thanked her but said no, I was just browsing.

McDonald's - On my way to my electrology appointment, I went by McDonalds. I do not like their food. The bread and meat taste the same (lol). But I was hungry and I knew the calorie count would be available. I went through drive-thu. I had no issues at either window. The second window took too long, so they asked if I wanted a soda. I asked for and received some water. This is a new location that just opened down the street from my electrologist.

Electrogy - You can read about my appointment here.

Car Return - Rented a car for the week for my trip to CT. I got the car last week, it had no gas in it and I had to bring the car back on empty. So I made sure I brought the car back on empty. The lady who logged in the car, signed me out last week. I know I did not look the same. But she asked if she had enough gas to get to the gas station. I told her, "I hope so." with a laugh. I left my car on their lot for the week. So I got in my car and left, headed to the Goodwill down the street

Goodwill - At this Goodwill, the store is smaller and so is the selection. An employee placing out clothes was across the clothes rack and told me that if I was looking for men's clothing, it was on the other side of the store. I kept looking at skirts. She then got a closer look at me and stated that there was another skirt rack behind me. I just laughed to my self and said thank you. I guess, once she got a good look at my clothes, she knew I was in the right place.

 I stayed about half an hour and left. I did not see much.

The Kohls was behind the Goodwill. I went in. I no longer have any hesitation. The lady at the cash register greeted me and I said hello. I went to the underwear section, first. I like to look for underwear that are on the sale rack. I saw a few, but they were not in my size.

Next, I went to the leggings section, but now that I found a few nice pair at Goodwill, I will hold off on purchasing more.

While I was looking at the legging, an employee who looked like a manager, given her clothes, asked if I needed any help and if I could find everything I needed. I told her yes, but I was looking for yoga pants. She led me over to that section. I said thank you and looked at their selection.

I did not buy anything at Kohl's. I was just pricing and browsing. Just like any other customer.

After, I left Kohl's, I went home, to complete some work.

I had a full day with no negative issues. I talked to employees and customers more and tried working on a more female voice. The voice will take practice and a coach. That will come after the electrology is complete.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Thursday April 16, 2015 - Trying on clothes

Tuesday evening, I decided to try play around with some of my female outfits, complete with wig and makeup.

In an earlier post, I talked about moving from Femboy to woman. I am using the Femboy mode to gain confidence in public while I wait to complete my electrology. Now that I feel very comfortable as a Femboy in public, its time to start having fun getting ready to come out as Susan.

The main difference between my Femboy mode and Susan, is the wig, makeup and voice. I bought a very nice wig earlier in the year. I just need to learn how to style it.

With makeup, I currently wear mascara even in boy mode. I add lip gloss, eyebrow liner and blush as a Femboy. As a women, I need to learn how to add eye shadow, eyeliner, foundation and  replace lip gloss with lipstick.

I have been studying how to feminize my voice. I am going to start using a more female voice when in Femboy mode. Once I complete my electrology, I will replace that expense with an online voice coach.

The lady who sold me my wig, gave me the name and contact information of someone who can make a high end customize wig.

So Tuesday night, I wanted to play around with some clothes, makeup and my wig.

I started off playing with my wig and finding different styles. I added makeup. I really need a makeup dresser table. So I can sit down and just spend hours, playing with my makeup.I must include a professional makeup artist to show me how to apply makeup correctly. I can take it from there.

The above outfit is a basic business suit, like the other two outfits below, but the lace top is different along with the shoes. I love the look of these shoes but I bought them from Payless Shoes and the heels are too high. I need to learn how to walk in them. Right now they hurt my feet as I must learn to walk on the balls of my feet. Also my calf muscles hurt.

This outfit is like the one above except for a new laced top. I like this top because it matches the shoes. I  noticed how changing tops from Lime Green to a dark teal color changed the outfit.

This outfit has a short black/white skirt with pink trim and a pink laces top. I like these black shoes with the white flower and trim. The trim in the shoes match the trim in the jacket. The first two are more appropriate for the workplace while this skirt I would wear out for the evening. At my age, I like skirts around the knee. I have nice legs, but modesty prevails at almost 60.
I will play dress up more. I think I will play with some dresses I bought and accessorize them. Also, I will play with makeup and my wig. I want a professionally made wig or two, but I will wait until I get closer to going out as Susan.
My voice studies will continue and I will practice them in Femboy mode. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Wednesday April 15, 2015 - Yesterday was a Femboy day - Face Maintenance

I love my Femboy days. It gives me a chance to get out in public and express my femininity.

If its Tuesday, its electrology day. My favorite hour of getting closer the my goal through pain and tears. Now I am not saying the pain is excruciating. Its like a bee sting. But certain parts of my face are sensitive and a "bee sting" brings tears to my eyes. Those areas are under my nose and around my lips. There are parts of my face in which I do not feel the sting.

Yesterday, the owner and I talked about other services they provide. My face looks great and I no longer shave. But I wanted to know about facial and chemical peels.

I think I am going to get a facial. I sounds relaxing and fun. But the chemical peel is a more long term process that will include maintenance as my skin peels and flakes over time. The chemical peel makes me think of the Walking Dead, which is filmed in my county, about 15 miles south of my house. Maybe after a chemical peel session, I can get on the set as a walk-on :-}.

I am having one minor issue with my face. Under my neck, there is discoloration and bumps. This is from years of shaving in which the hairs in that area grew in different directions. This led to poor shaving results, early in my shaving life.

Thanks to a female impersonator friend, decades ago, I changed my shaving habits and eliminated shaving bumps.

So my electrologist, suggested I exfoliate more and reduce the discoloration by using oatmeal, once or twice a week and a slice of lemon, a different day of the week.

Both act as an exfoliate and the lemon reduces discoloration.

I am going to try them and will report back on my progress.

Here is what she recommended.:


  1. Take a small handful of some raw oatmeal. 
  2. Place it in the palm of your hand and add water to create a paste. 
  3. Rub the paste on your face and let it sit for awhile.
  4. The rubbing will exfoliate.
  5. Once it dries, wash it off.

Lemon Slice:

  1. Take a lemon and cut out a wedge.
  2. Rub the slice over the discolored area
  3. Overtime, this will reduce the discoloration in the area and exfoliate.

Over the next few post, I will discuss my Tuesday day out.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Tuesday April 14, 2015 - New Girls on the Block

Have you watched the new TV series on Discovery Life called New Girls on the Block? Its a five part series about the life of a group of transgender women. The first episode aired Saturday April 11, 2015.

This series deals with the real life issues of transition, love, life, family, friends, work and community. It gives the general public a peek into our lives which helps humanize and demystify us.

I love all of these new shows and transgender characters coming on TV.  Its going to make our transition easier as regular people and not some kind of criminal from CSI or Law and Order SVU.

Check out a preview:

Monday, April 13, 2015

Monday April 13, 2015 - I had Aversion Therapy. thankfully, It did not work.

My parents sent me to a few different therapists in an attempt to cure my "crossdressing".

First, I was put in a teen group. Those teens had drug, depression and family issues. When I discussed my "crossdressing", they looked at me like I was crazy for being there. My issue seemed so trivial compared to their issues.

So, at 15 years old, 10th grade, I went to a physiologist who practiced aversion therapy.

It was not as bad a the picture above. I would go into the office and he would hypnotize me. I do not know if the hypnotism worked, sometime I fell asleep and sometimes I faked it. Then he would talk to me about how bad female clothes were and that if I touched them, I would get sick. I remember saying to myself, how could nylon stockings make me sick, they look and feel so nice.

I do not know how many times I went. But I decided to purge and go deeper in the closet. It only lasted from 1972 until 1979.

I am glad I was not sent away to an out-of-town program or a program with a more aggressive therapy routine..

I know my parents were trying to do what they thought was best, given its the 1970's. Then many people thought it was a "phase" some boys went through. I suspect that "phase" period was a true indication of oneself. Then many of us had to learn how to hide it, so we could conform.  Those that could not hide it were subjected to a very tough life. Like my cousin, who came out in 1968, while in high school. He had a very difficult 17-years until his death of AIDS.

So I guess, my parents thought I was "cured". Well, first of all, I am NOT sick. I am in touch with a very amazing and special gift that has made be a better person. I am going to use this gift to help others.

This is why  I am  so glad President Obama has called for an end to this type of therapy.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Sunday April 12, 2015 - Shopping at the mall

Leaving the high school, I decided to get something to eat. I went to Wendy's and ordered a small chili and a jr hamburger. I was not hungry but I needed to eat something to keep my metabolism up. I had not eaten all day and it was about 2 pm. My body has probably moved into starvation mode.

While inside, I sat to eat while checking emails and replying to texts.

I decided I wanted to go visit my old stomping ground as a teen, which was the Mall. Older readers remember the Mall as the place to go to not only shop but to hang out with friends.

I remember when Woodbridge Mall opened. We use to go as a family and later I went with friends.

So, I drove over to the Mall. As I was looking for a place to park, it occurred to me, what shops do I want to visit. I realized, I no longer go to Malls. I go to the open shopping centers because the stores I like.

Many malls have been converted into open shopping centers that look more like downtown areas. But this mall appeared busy. I decided to go to Lord and Taylor because that was my mother's favorite store. I remember my mother was a shopaholic. I remember wanting to do some mother daughter shopping with her. When I was young and went to the mall with Mom, I had to look disinterested in the lady's section. But in reality, I wanted to try on dresses and shoes.

 Luckily, in the early 1990's, I was able to spend a day with my mother shopping as her daughter. Now in 2015, I am back at her store looking cute and "window" shopping. The clothes are very nice but out of my price range.

So, I headed into the mall and just walked around remembering the mall's layout. I remember people saying this was the largest Mall in the US, back when it opened. I do not know if that was true but it is a two story mall built in a T-shape with very long walkways. Currently, it appeared to be 100% occupied and busy.

As I walked around, I was basically ignored as people went about their activities.

One time in Atlanta, about 20 years ago, another "crossdresser" as I went shopping in the local mall. We passed a group of your girl teenagers and one of them said, "Look two crossdressers." as they watched us enter a shop. They left, but I felt like I was in a fish bowl and uncomfortable. Being with my friend helped, but it ruined an otherwise nice outing. It made me not want to go to the mall again, as Susan and I have not until today.

Its interesting that I remember the bad times more that the good time while dressed. That incident was the second time I was called out in the mall, while dressed in the 1990's. The second time was in Savannah in 1996, while spending the whole week as Susan. I had been to that local mall a couple of times (to buy shoes and get acrylic nails). This third time, as I walked into the mall, one guy said in a loud voice, there is a crossdresser. I felt so embarrassed, I turned around and left. This guy was with another guy and they followed me to my car. I got in and left. I did not go back to that mall, the rest of the week. My confidence took a big hit that day.

Now, 2015, as I walked around, I felt part of the community. A few women smiled and said hello and I looked them in the eye and returned the greetings.

Then I found my store, Payless Shoes. I went in but they had a very limited number of size 12 shoes.

I did find these creme heels, but I wanted a pair in black. I like the round toe shoe because it makes my feet appear smaller.

I employee asked, if I needed help. I told her I was looking for this shoe in black. She told me that they did not have a pair in black.

I then asked her if they had any lace foot cover in XL size. I bought a pair that I found in XL and it fit. Since then, I have been looking for more pairs in different colors that are an XL size. I originally found these items and put them on my Etsy board.

I have a brown pair. I want to collect more colors because they match my lace camisoles.

Next, I went to the food court and bought a pretzel. I sat at a table and practiced eating slowly with small bites while reading emails. I sat up straight (like my mother use to tell my sister) and crossed my ankles and bent  my knees slightly to the side.

Finally, Susan is shopping at Woodbridge Mall and having fun. If only my mother was here to hangout with me :-{. But she is here is spirit.

NOTE: My mother is alive in Orlando, but is in the final stages of Dementia.