Sunday, May 31, 2015

Sunday May 31, 2015 - Shoe shopping

While out Thursday, I decided to go to the Payless Shoe store next to the wig shop. I like their shoes better than Shoe Show.

I drove the short distance from the Beauty Store to the Payless store because it was raining. If it was not raining, I would have walked over to Payless.

As I walked in the store, the clerk said hello and I returned the hello.

I went straight to the aisle with my size, women 12. I did not see any high heels that I liked. But I did see and try on some flats and a few sandals.

I like these flats. They match my pants and I was looking for a nice pair to match them. Being multi-color will allow me to use these flats with other skinny jeans I have.

I did not intent to buy any shoes today. But at $17.00, the price was right. I decided not to buy because if it were up to me I would spend all of my money on shoes and clothes. And now wigs.

So at some point, I have to say no and just wait. I have other things I need to buy, like finishing my electrology sessions.

The following pictures are two sandals I tried on.

 I like the color of these sandals but not the style. The metal front pendant is nice and the straps have a leather look to them.

They felt comfortable. Like the slight wedge heel. The problem I have with this shoe can be seen with the next picture.

This picture shows the back of this sandal. I do not like sandals with an open back because it makes my feet look longer. This sandal fits well and my heel sits well on the back of this shoe. I just do not feel confident enough to wear a shoe with an open heel that does not have at least an ankle strap on the back.

This is a silver sandal that I liked. I liked the way it framed my feet and the large silver front panel made my feet look smaller. My toes followed the front curve of the shoe and my back heel sat well on the back. My heel was not hanging over the back or too short.

I have this internal issue about my feet being too big. But overall I feel my feet are cute and I work at keeping them looking nice. With this shoe, I feel more confident because of the back straps.

This sandal does has a nice back that frames my heel. I would buy this sandal and wear it because of the color and how it makes my feet look.

It was a very comfortable shoe.

The above three shoes were the only ones in my size that I liked. I did not buy any of them, but I am going to come back and buy the flat and silver sandals.

The silver sandal and my painted toe nails maybe too feminine for my Femboy look. I will have to think about it over the next few days.

During this part of my journey, I enjoy shopping and leaning. However, I would like to find some shopping partners.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Saturday May 30, 2015 - Wig Shopping

After my electrology session on Wednesday, I went wig shopping. On Tuesday, I called the sales lady I bought my last wig from. She works in a beauty supply store I visited in December  2014 (Old Post).  We hit it off when I met her and I decided to buy a wig from her that December day.

So, I called her and told her I wanted to spend some time and have her help me find some more wigs. We decided that around 1 pm would be a good time.

I expected to stay about 1 hour and ended spending 3.5 hours learning about wigs and trying on a variety of wigs.

I had a great time. She is so nice and helpful. She treated me like one of the girls and I felt so comfortable and relaxed. One of the reason, I bought my last wig from her, is that she constantly had clients coming by just to say hello. All of her customers were so nice to me. They used female pronouns and gave me their opinions along with their tips and tricks.

The same thing happened on this trip. The first lady who came in while I was there, came by just to say hello. She ended up trying on three wigs and bought one. It was fun because we ended up play fighting over two wigs. Both of these wigs looked good on both of us. I told her, I was going to buy them, but she wanted them too. She wanted the display model because the new wigs in the box took too long to adjust. She told me that she buys only display models because they have been worked on and have more body to them.

Back to our "fight", I felt that since I tried the display model first, I should have the first rights to it. However, she came back with being a long term customer she should have first rights. We laughed about it and she ended up buying one of them. I was not buying today, just trying different hair.

This customer gave me some great advise about maintaining hair and having different wigs for different types of weather, seasons and outfits. Also she has wigs for her sexy days and bummed out days. We even laughed about a wig she had when she wanted to attract an old boyfriend. He always wanted sex when she wore it. Lol. She was so funny.

She wanted to know how I stayed so slim, so I gave her my calorie counting speech and phone app and exercise routine.

A second customer came over while the first customer and I were talking and trying on wigs. This second customer had her too young pre-teen girls in tow. While the first customer went up to pay for her new wig, the second customer sat down and tried on one wig is particular. She was not very friendly and did not talk to me and did not talk much to the sales lady. When the second lady went up to pay for her wig, the first customer came back with her receipt. She and my sales lady talked about how rude the second customer was. I did not think she was rude, she just knew what she wanted.

Then I realized that part of buying wigs at this store was the socialization. We love to talk about things while trying on wigs.

The second customer returned with her receipt and left with her wigs. Once she left, we returned to girl talk and trying on wigs.

I tried on various lengths, colors, styles and curls. I learned a few things about my face. Both my sales lady and the first customer, thought was face allows me to wear a variety of wigs. The first customer complained that her small face means that a wig with too much hair overwhelms her face. I told her that I thought her small face was cute and round which allowed her to wear a large variety of  wigs.

One thing I realized is that when you put on a wig that looks great, you can tell. As soon as you put it on, it says ..... wow! A wig is about how it frames your face. The look it gives you and how it makes you feel. Now I understand why you have a variety of wigs. Just like clothes, it is how you feel that day. The wig can make that outfit pop and/or it can reflect how you feel that day.

When you think about it, the whole female presentation is about your outward expression of internal feelings. I have female feelings that I want to express. I use to think it was a burden but I now know its a gift. By expressing these feelings, I am happier and more expressive.

Below is a slide show of some of the wigs, I tried on. I did not have any makeup on because I had just come from the electrologist. Also, I was trying to find wigs that framed my face and made it more feminine. Finally, I was trying to think out side the box. So some of these wigs did not work for me.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Friday May 29, 2015 - Thursday Electrology Session

Thursday was another Femboy day that started with an electrology session. I rescheduled my Tuesday's appointment for Thursday.

I had a great session. It only took 45 minutes to clear my face. This is the same time it took last week.

So the technician and I agreed that I would move to a once every 2 week schedule. Therefore, I am really getting to the end. Now it will only take about an hour to clear two weeks of regrowth.

Eventually, we will move to once a month and then that should finish it.

My tech told me that my face not only looks good but the discoloration under my neck is disappearing. I told her that I am doing the lemon facial every two to three weeks and my face feels soft and smooth.

It has been close to 2.5 years and over 120 hours of work, but my face is getting there. I am slowly forgetting what shaving everyday was like.

After my session, I went to Quiktrip for lunch. I had not eaten all day. I got a hot dog with all the toppings and a doughnut. I treated myself to a doughnut because I needed the calories by that time and I was in a good mood. Also, I handled the pain of electrology, so I thought I should get a treat..

The store was crowded and I had to wait to fill my cup with ice and water. Remember, I no longer drink diet sodas, so I have settled on ice water. Plus, the ice water is either free on $0.25 depending on the Quiktrip store and cashier.

As I said, it was crowded with a good diversity of people and I felt very comfortable with no issues. I say hello or smile when I pass women. I look them in the eyes.

After eating, I went wig shopping, shoe shopping and ran some errand all day. I will discuss those adventures over the weekend.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thursday May 28, 2015 - Femboy Day

Wednesday, I spend the day in Femboy mode. I wore my black jeggings and new black top with my black and gold Payless flats. I added a necklace, two bracelets (one black and the other silver) and a few silver-based rings. I wanted the jewelry to have a black and silver look. My hat was black and white and my earrings clear with a silver base.

I was working at home and was out and about. I went to my brothers condo first. He has seen me in Femboy mode. We had a good time. He is starting an ebay store, so we talked about that.

He treated me the same. I think he is getting use to it because he no longer asks questions about my look.

After awhile we decided to go run some errands. I did not know if he would want to go out with me. But he suggested we go out.

He had to go to Aldi, the grocery store. So he drove his car and he found a parking space up front. He went in first because I had to take a phone call. I quickly joined him in the store and we walked around looking for a few items he wanted.

I was checking out some of their items and the calorie count. Again, I thought there might be an issue on his part about being with me and my look. But he did not shy away and we just talked and walked the small store. There were many people in the store and everyone was busy shopping.

After Aldi, I had to go to the Bank of America ATM.  My brother parked at the back and I got out and walked to the front ATM. There was one person in front of me. Once she was finished, I used the ATM to make a deposit.

There were customers constantly coming in and out of the front door. I made sure I stood tall with my back straight and hips slightly tilted. Once I finished, I slowly walked to the car and went back to his place. I soon left to get back home. There were two men coming to the house to do some electrical work and outside gutter work.

On the way home decided to get something to eat. I had not eaten all day but I was running to get home to meet the repair guy. I decided to go thru drive thru because of time. I would have no issue anymore going inside. I ordered a double hamburger because it has only  340 calories. I added a cup of ice water. At the pay window, the young lady took my money and told me to drive up. At the second window, another lady smiled as she added me my food and I returned the smile with a thank you.

After a couple of hours at home, the repairman arrived. I was still in Femboy mode and I opened the door. He said hello and shook my hand. I showed him where the problem was and told he we had some water damage and we needed the ceiling lights checked and ceiling fan replaced. He was referred by the floor guy. While I was there, the repair man called the floor guy.

It was interesting because the repair man stumbled over which pronouns to use when referring to me. He sais she a couple of time and I felt honored. But I walked away so he could talk without me hearing and I assumed he would feel more comfortable.

This is the second time I met someone at the house as a Femboy. The other guy was the insurance adjuster. Everything went well that time and this time.

After about 30 minutes, the guy was finished and he will be back later to remount the lights and ceiling fan, once the drywall has been replaced.

I worked at home the rest of the day. I had many calls to make and some reports to finished.

As I thought about my day, I knew I was ready and could do this Femboy mode full-time. I hope to start that in 6 to 12 months, once I complete my electrology sessions and my new career stabilizes

Over the next 6 to 12 months, I am going to start working on my makeup, voice and hair (wig).

Then I will begin to move from Femboy to womanhood. I had a great day and I am excited.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Wednesday May 27, 2015 - Some days are tough

Sometimes this journey stuff is difficult. Tuesday is usually my Femboy day with an electrology session, shopping and/or errands to run. But I had to be in boy mode all day for meetings and work related activities.

I exercised late last night to release some of the stress and pressure I felt throughout the day.

I wanted to express my femininity all day. As I passed women and judged their outfits, I thought about what I would wear or how I looked in a certain outfit. Sometimes I would think about how I would have changed an outfit to better reflect my feelings and personality.

I accomplished alot of things yesterday. But I want to do it as a women. The stress comes in when I have developed a plan (my journey), but the plan does not match my feelings.

This mismatch causes me stress. I understand why some people just go for it and transition. However, I still have obligations that I feel I need to complete, while at the same time easing family and friends into the new reality of Susan.

I still have work to do in the area of voice, makeup and hair. As a matter of fact, I am planning on a day at the beauty shop, this week, to play around with some wig styles and maintenance.

For me having my feet firmly planted in both sides of the closet is becoming more difficult and stressful.

I have this thing about planning and wanting everything to go just right in the order I planned. But of course that seldom works and part of the fun is making those adjustments to the plan. In this case, the mismatch is not always fun.

But I am going to stay with it and work hard to get there. I was reading Stana's blog post and over the years I have read and seen how she has grown. I am so proud of her and she is one of my inspirations. Sometime, I go into her past posts and I can see her growth and I hope it will happen for me.

I know that this journey is needed to help me grow, but it sure seems like time is moving so slow.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Tuesday May 26, 2015 - Femboy Exercise Outfits

If it's Tuesday, it's Electrology and Femboy Day. However, with the Memorial weekend, my normal Monday activity was moved to today. So I had to reschedule my appointment and change my Femboy Day. Darn!

I am busy with meetings and reports all day today. So, I will get my Femboy fix with my exercising tonight. I love exercising even more, now that I wear my feminine outfits. I have been exercising three to four days a week and enjoy it. I love mixing and matching colors. The basic outfit consists of tight leggings, woman sneakers with shoe laces that match the color scheme and two T-shirts. One longer than the other to provide color, a lower hemline and enough cloth to handle my sweating.

I never noticed stares or whispering about what I was wearing. I have a few fellow guys I know who workout. They have not said anything and we talk, just like before.

If there were any issues, they are over it now and are use to my outfits. To be honest, I do not care anymore because it makes me happy and motivated to keep that figure, lol.

Here are some picture of some of my recent outfits.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Monday May 25, 2015 - Memorial Day

This Memorial Day, let's take time to remember those who helped keep us safe.

Here is a veterans organization representing those heroes from our community. When you get a chance, visit this site and read some of the stories. I am going to make a small donation today.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Sunday May 24, 2015 - Simmons College

Simmons College is launching A campaign designed to shift the conversation away from the problematic questions that are often asked of the members transgender community and foster a more progressive dialogue.

I am participating in Trans*forming the Dialogue, Simmons College’s Online MSW Program’s campaign to promote an educational conversation about the transgender community. By participating in this campaign, I will be offering my perspective on what TO ask and what NOT to ask trans*people. (See questions below)

Located in the heart of Boston, Simmons College encompasses the many benefits of a small university in the nation's best "college town." We've held true to our founding principle of inclusion — embracing students from all backgrounds to create an environment of true religious, cultural, racial, sexual orientation, gender expression and ability diversity. They were also one of the first women's colleges to formalize an inclusive  transgender admission policy.

 What are the do’s and don'ts when asking a trans*person about their experiences?
  • What are 2 - 3 questions that one should NOT be asking a transgender person?
1) Do not ask about sexual questions when first meeting someone.
2) When first meeting someone, do not mention that they look transgendered.

  • What are 2 - 3 questions (or as many as you like) that one SHOULD be asking a transgender person?
1) Treat the person like any other person presenting in that gender.
2) Let the person bring up the transgender issue.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Saturday May 23, 2015 - Tuesday's Payless Shoe shopping

Not only did I go to two Goodwill stores but I also went to two Payless Shoe stores. I was looking for some flats and I wanted to try on some heels. I would like to find some colorful flats for my yellow skinny jeans.

I do have a white pair I bought a last week along with a green pair I wore last week. And I have a couple of women sneakers I can wear this summer, but I want to see what else is available.

The select of high heels at Shoe Show last week wase not good. I want to see if Payless Shoes has a better selection.

I did like the Payless Shoes selection much better. I actually bought a pair that was on sale for $10.00.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Friday May 22, 2015 - Tuesday's Goodwill Shopping

I need to find some more summer tops. I have mostly T-Shirts and a few regular shirts. But I need to find some unique tops that have a feminine look but not too feminine.

I decided I was going to try two different Goodwill stores. I went to the stores in Jonesboro and Fayetteville. I am a regular at both stores in both boy and femboy mode.

I spent a few hours searching for and trying on the tops.. There were so many options that  I decided to buy tops that had the 50% off tag.

Below are some of the items I tried on and include the ones I bought. I did not take a picture of all of the tops I tried on. Just the ones  I liked best. I did not find a nice summer hoodie that fit and had a 50% off price tag. I am going to look for some at another Goodwill store next week.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Thursday May 21, 2015 - Tuesday's Femboy day continues

After I left the Comcast store, I went back to the car rental store to make my reservation. My favorite clerk was still there. She greeted me as I walked in. This time a second female clerk was there. I has seen her before and she said hello.

I told my friend that I needed the car for Friday. I will pick it up Friday morning and return in Saturday morning. She made my reservation. I talked to both ladies for a few minutes about the upcoming holiday weekend. I forgot this weekend was the Memorial weekend. That was why rental rates were so high.

While talking with them, I practiced a softer more female voice. One thing I noticed, is trying to project the voice thru my head with enough volume (power) to be heard. Sometimes, I was asked to repeat what I said.

Also my voice is not strong enough yet and sometimes I drop down into my throat. This voice thing is hard and will take time.

As I left, I noticed my right thumb nail broke. Darn!

So I decided while still in the shopping area, I would go to the beauty shop and buy a nail clipper and file.

This store is huge. It was an Barnes and Noble bookstore. I use to go to this bookstore all the time. Now I buy my books online. Its a shame that we are losing brick and mortar bookstores, but the economy is changing.

I parked in the shade and walking into the store. I have been in this store before and went to the nail section. I quickly found an inexpensive nail clipper, but could not find the kind of nail file I was looking for. They had a selection of flat files, but I was looking for a 4-sided block file with the different roughness. I did find a round nail file, but I wanted a block.  See pictures below.

I took the nail clipper up to the cash register. I had to wait in line until one of the four clerks was free. The next available clerk called me up. I said hello and she asked if I found everything. I told her that I was looking for a nail file block but only saw flat files and this round file. I told her my nail chipped off and I need to fix it before it got worse. She said that is why she has acrylic nails.  I said I was trying to keep my nails natural but my right hand continues to have nails break because I am right-handed. My left hand nails look good and they stay long. She said I should try press on nails. My problem with press on nails are the size. She said they do not carry the larger sizes but told me of a place where I could find them.

So I paid for my nail clipper and thanked her for the advise. On the way out, I really enjoyed talking to the clerk and I can not wait to visit the store she recommended, to see if I can find the larger press on nails.

I decided to go to CVS next, to find a nail file and buy some other items. Before I drove off, I clipped my nail down to give it a basic shape and remove the excess nail.

I walked into CVS to find a nail file. I need to smooth out my nail before it gets caught on something and splits again.

But I could not find a block nail file here either. I picked up some more items and headed for the cashier.

I need to buy some more clear nail polish because my granddaughter broke my new bottle of clear nail polish while she was using it. I had been  having problems with my older clear nail polishes because they flaked off after one or two days.

This last bottle was great. But I do not remember where I bought it. I think it was at the beauty store next to the Shoe Show store by my electrologist's office. So I decided not to buy the clear polish here, but wait until next week and try the other beauty supply store.

Once upfront, the cashier asked if I found everything. I told her that I was looking for a block nail file. She stated they no longer carry that style but had the new round file. I am not ready to try that, so I told her that I will keep looking.

I paid for my items and left. I parked toward the side of the store because there were some shaded parking spaces. So as I walked to the car, I practiced walking tall and straight but taking my time with a shorter stride.

Still looking for a block nail file, I decided to try Walgreens. I found a shaded parking space and walked to the store. Before I got to the front, I noticed a male employee taking a cigarette break outside. There use to be a time, I would make sure I avoided walking pass people. I would either park and wait or go to another store. I no longer think about it. I hold my head up high and continue doing what I had planned. As I passed him, he said hello. I said hello in my practice voice and walked into the store. I am not familiar with the Walgreens store layout, so I stopped to look around. An employee asked if I needed help. I told her what I was looking for and and she pointed me in the right direction and isle for nail care. I found a nail block. Yeah!

I walked around the store, just to see what they had. They had some nice leggings on sale, but I wanted to save my money from Goodwill and I did not need any leggings until fall. So I decided to wait. As I walked around the store, there were other customers. Some of those customers said hello while others were busy shopping. This allowed me to practice looking women in the eyes and smiling. I only say hello if they say a greeting first.

I had not eaten in awhile, so I decided to treat myself to some candy. I bought some white chocolate cover Kitkats. The package was 220 calories. That was OK, given I had not eaten much and I needed to keep my metabolism up.

I walked up to the cashier and the male employee that was outside was now at the cashier. I paid for my candy and nail file and left.

Once, I got back in my car, I opened the nail file package and filed my broken nail to smooth it out. Again, I just want to make sure I do not snag that nail and break it again.

I continued to enjoy my day. For the next two posts will discuss and  my shoe buying at Payless Shoes and my summer tops at Goodwill.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Wednesday May 20, 2015 - Errands from Tuesday

Tuesday was a great day. I went to my electrology session. My face has less hair every week. Usually it taks 1 hour to clear my face. This week, it only took 45 minutes with very little in the mustache area. So I did not shed many tears. I told my technician that once we can clear my face within 30 minutes, we need to move to once every two weeks. I may reach that point by July, which will be about the 6 months point of every week. After July, it may become once every two weeks.

My Femboy outfit was based on skinny blue jeans with a pair of black flats. I had a red spaghetti top with a built in bra shelf. Over the red top was a nice T-shirt and over the T-shirt was a red and green shirt.

It was warm and humid outside, so the above the shirts were light and kept me from sweating thru all three tops.

After my session, I went shopping. Over the next few days, I will write a post about my shoe shopping and another post about my new Femboy tops.

The rest of this post and tomorrow's post are about the other stores I visited.

I went to Camp Creek Shopping Center to rent a car for Thursday or Friday. This was the first store I went to in which they know me in boy mode. I rent cars often from here, when I can not get a good deal at the airport.

I parked and went into the store. My normal clerk was there. She greeted me by name. I asked her how much a car for 1 day (either Thursday and Friday) would cost.

She then stopped and asked me if I was in costume. Wow. I said no. At least she realizes I look different. I told her this is me and I am expressing who I really am.

She asked me to step back so she could come around the counter and see my complete outfit. She stated that she liked my shoes, my skinny jeans and my necklace.

She did not mention my shirt or other jewelry. I though about that. Did she not like it? Was she just highlighting the parts she liked the best. When I pickup the car, I will ask her.

It was neat that she accepted me and we continued talking about thinks we normally talk about. I know she would accept me because I am a paying customer. But we normally talk about a lot of things. And that continued. She did not treat me any different nor did I feel any difference from her.

I left so confident. I decided to go to the Comcast store across the parking lot. I needed to update the cable box. This was going to be another test because this store is usually crowded and I may have to wait in line for awhile. Also, I am going into a store that I do not go into often and there could be a risk.

I parked in the shade, around the corner. So I had to talk to the store. As I reached the store entrance, a man opened the door for me. I said thank you. Once in, there was no waiting to see a clerk. So I walked up to a male clerk. He said hello and asked for my drivers license and information about me. Once I gave him my information, he gave me a new cable box. I asked him a few questions about my bill and what new services will be available because of this new box. As I talked, I tried out my new softer voice and tried not to talk from my throat or chest by from my head. I cable box was big. So I held it with both hands out front. In boy mode, I would have held it under one arm. But I wanted to not appear too strong.

The Comcast store visit when well. Both the car rental and cable store visits were a new experience for me. They both had risks but they both went well.

As I let the cable store, I received a call from my client about or day trip to look at some property. We decided to make it a Friday trip. So I decided to head back to the car rental store and make my order.

Tomorrow, I will continue discussing my running of errands.
1) Going back to car rental store
2) CVS
3) Walgreens
4) Beauty Salon

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Tuesday May 19, 2015 - Electrology Session and Femboy Day

I have been looking forward to today. My face is getting closer to being cleared. I no longer shave. I just spend about 1 hour clearing my face and eyebrows.

The last few Tuesdays, I was very busy. Today, I am going to spend more time shopping, getting a pedicure and running errands.

Over the next few days, I will write about my day. But I am running late this morning.

I am still looking for spring and summer outfits. So that will be my main shopping items, along with a few more flats.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Monday May 18, 2015 - Women's Colleges and the Transgender Community

Bryn Mawr College joins Simmons College, Mount Holyoke College, and Mills College in striving to be proactively inclusive of Transwomen.

The decision was also influenced by an awareness that gender is fluid and that traditional notions of gender identity and expression can be limiting.

As a senior in high school, I took a weekend trip up to visit Mount Holyoke College. A good friend of mine invited me because it was the end of her freshman year and she was volunteering to work the graduation ceremony. I fell in love with the school. I decided to apply to Amherst and was accepted. But I decided not to attend because of the weather. At that time, I wanted warmer weather, so Atlanta was the place.

In Atlanta there are two all women's colleges, Spelman and Agnes Scott. Currently Agnes Scott accepts transgender students but Spelman does not.

If I were a transwoman coming out of high school, I would definitely apply to an all Women's College and once accepted would probably attend Agnes Scott. Agnes Scott has a beautiful campus and is within walking distance of Downtown Decatur. Downtown Decatur is experiencing a fantastic renaissance. The bonding within a same sex school is amazing and will last a lifetime. Depending on what grade I transitioned, that female bonding would be very important for the development of my womanhood.

My sister went to Spelman College in Atlanta and its impact on her educationally (now a doctor) and socially (great friends 35+ years later) was invaluable.

Below is a list of USA of  Women's Colleges and  their policy tort lack of policy toward transgender people (both men and women).

Agnes Scott College
Current Policy: Admits students who identify as female. De Factotrans women admitted.
Alverno College
Current Policy: Does not formally admit trans women. Only mentions trans men in policy.
Barnard College
Current Policy: Trans women may be admitted on a case-by-case basis if all documents list them as female.
Bay Path University
Current Policy: Does not formally admit trans women, non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity."
Bennett College for Women
Current Policy: Does not formally admit trans women, non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity."
Bryn Mawr College
Current Policy: Admits trans women.
College of Saint Benedict
Current Policy: Admission of students is "limited to females." No definition of how status is determined. Non-discrimination policy does not include "gender identity" or "gender expression."
College of Saint Elizabeth
Current Policy: Non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity," states the college will not discriminate in admissions. No clarification on exactly how that applies to trans women seeking admission.
Converse College
Current Policy: Trans women not formally admitted. Non-discrimination clause does not include "gender identity." Transgender policy only mentions trans men.
Douglass Residential College of Rutgers University
Current Policy: Any student recognized as female by Rutgers University (which has recently made major policy changes regarding transgender students) may enroll in DRC. De facto, trans women admitted.
Hollins University
Current Policy: Admits trans women if they have all documents list them as female, and they have sex reassignment. Policy may be under current review.
Mary Baldwin College
Current Policy: Unknown, non-discrimination policy does not include "gender identity," and specifically mentions men are not admitted to the women's college.
Meredith College
Current Policy: Unknown, some unconfirmed reports trans women are admitted. Non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity."
Mills College
Current Policy: Admits trans women.
Mount Holyoke College
Current Policy: Admits trans women.
Mount St. Mary's College
Current Policy: Unknown, non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity."
Notre Dame of Maryland University
Current Policy: Unknown, non-discrimination police does not include "gender identity" but institution does have a lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender merit scholarship. Who benefits from the transgender inclusion in the scholarship?
Pine Manor College
Current Policy: Unknown, but college publications indicate active transgender students and strong transgender viewpoint inclusion in the women's studies department.
Salem College
Current Policy: Admits "only women," and therefore insists that "transgender" need not be included in a revised policy. Refuses to define "women," so policy could mean anything. Policymay be under review.
Scripps College
Current Policy: Admits trans women.
Simmons College
Current Policy: Admits trans women.
Smith College
Current Policy: Trans women may be admitted if all documents list them as female. Calliope Wong was denied admission because of a mix of identifying documents.
Spelman College
Current Policy: Unknown, but Monica Roberts of TransGriot seems to believe that a black trans woman applicant would not be turned down as Calliope Wong was turned down from Smith.
Stern College for Women
Current Policy: Unknown, but unlikely. Six years later, and Stern is still grappling with a transgender professor with tenure.
Texas Woman's University
Current Policy: Admitted men to all undergraduate programs in 1994, but remains primarily for women. Still over 85% female, over 90% of graduates are female. Trans women are accommodated as female if they can provide two forms of identification with a female gender marker. New policy allows transgender students to use a preferred name over a legal name, and diplomas will reflect preferred name. Anti-discrimination policy includes "gender identity" and "gender expression."
Trinity Washington University
Current Policy: Unknown, non-discrimination policy doesn't even list "sex" or "gender," let alone "gender identity." Worth noting, because even most trans exclusionary women's colleges at least have "sex" or "gender" with a caveat about not admitting men.
University of Saint Joseph
Current Policy: The University of Saint Joseph is unique in having a non-discrimination policywhich includes "transgender status" and prohibits discrimination "in the administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, and employment practices."
Wellesley College
Current Policy: Considers for admission those who identify as female and check female on the Common Application. De Facto, admits trans women.
The Women's College of the University of Denver
Current Policy: Unknown, non-discrimination policy includes "gender identity" and "gender expression." As a college of DU, situation may be similar to the DRC at Rutgers.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Sunday May 17, 2015 - Exercise Yesterday

Yesterday afternoon, I exercised at the gym. I only wear Femboy outfits to the gym. I love mixing and matching outfits based on the overall color that reflects my feelings.

My basic outfit starts with leggings. I match two female T-shirts. One T-shirt matches my leggings and the second T-shirt matches my sneakers and/or my laces.

The outer T-shirt has a low V cut to  show off part the color of the inside T-shirt and a lower hemline to cover my hips. The inner T-shirt matches the leggings and/or sneakers with laces.

Yesterday I wore brown leggings with a brown inside T-shirt. I added an outside green T-shirt and black sneakers with green laces and green ankle socks.

When I signed in at the front desk, the young lady greeted me by name and said hello. I quickly read her badge and added her name to my greeting. T practiced using my softer voice.

It was interesting because I never noticed her or anyone else greet someone by name.

I now feel confident and comfortable while exercising in my outfits. I love wearing them and it helps motivates me to go to the gym and workout a little longer.

I worked out 15 minutes on the StairMaster to warm up. Then added 90 minutes on the elliptical machine. I am going back to the gym today and watch the NBA game which starts at 3:30 pm est. If I am going to watch the game, why watch it in the living room?

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Saturday May 16, 2015 - Participating in Academic Research

I was thinking about how I can help the public gain a better understanding of our community. We are making great strides and I feel blessed to be living in these times. I think the future will find even more acceptance for our community.

I have decided to pay it forward by participating in academic studies of our community. Since so many of us are in the closet, our numbers appear low and our voices low.

I will choose studies that will be used for enacting public policy that can benefit us. Without this data and analysis, there will be very limited information to support our cause.

For years I have been receiving flyers and emails about transgender studies. I have just never bothered to respond. That will change.

I will only respond to those I think will assist in adding more positive research data to the public discussion. We need more data and information to support our  arguments and make our points.

Below are two charts based on recent research.

The first one shows a dire situation for our youth. But are they really accurate given the number of out youth hiding and not responding. I do not fault them, it just a thought. Adding them could show that the situation is better or worse.

The next chart is from a UCLA study in 2011. Again how many of us did not respond, thus making our population appear smaller than it is. This empowers the other side.

If you are interested, I have listed below a few current studies. As I locate more studies, I will add them to a new list I will create on the right column of this blog.
  1. Research Study: University of Louisville studying trans experiences - May 15, 2015
  2. Seeking Participants for Trans* Faculty Dissertation Study - May 1, 2015
  3. John Jay College of Criminal Justice are seeking participants who identify as transgender or gender non-conforming (e.g., non-binary, bi-gender, a-gender, poly-gender, genderfluid, etc.) for a paid study on perceptions of the criminal justice system. - Must live in NYC - May 13, 2015

Friday, May 15, 2015

Friday May 15, 2015 - Wednesday's Shoe shopping

Wednesday, after my electrology session, I went shoe shopping. I wanted to find a few nice heels that fit my large (size 12 Ugh!) feet. I am not going to buy today, but just try on and look.

As I walked in to the local Shoe Show store, with my yellow and green outfit, the store was busy.

The cashier at the front said hello and welcome and I returned the hello.

I walked over to the woman's section with heels. As I walked, I noticed a young pre-teen boy staring at me. He did not say anything. No one else said a word and most of the ladies did not notice or give me a second look.

But I felt this young boy had an interest in me. I do not know if he is part of our community, but I made sure I acted with self-confidence and dignity while smiling. Just in case, I was an indirect teacher and mentor for him. As I looked at heels, I noticed him walking away with his mom and he looked back at me as he turned the corner.

I wanted to say hello and talk to him, but that was not the place nor the time. I hope that minute of interaction will have a positive impact on him.

Below are the six pair of heels I tried on. I did not like any of these shoes I tried on nor any of the other shoes on display.

This tan shoe felt nice. But I did not like the way it wrapped around my ankle and my heels. My toes looked good in them and I liked the straps across the middle of my feet. But the back and ankle appear to not fit my feet.

I would not buy this shoe because of the rear section of the shoe.

This silver shoe was nice. But the base of the front of the shoe was too small. My big toes was slightly hanging off the side of the shoe. There needs to be a slightly longer and wider base.

I liked the color and the silver straps across my foot.

The heel was high but nice.

I would not buy this shoe because of the front base.

The next four shoes were black.

This was a black velvet shoe. I liked the feel of this shoe. It was the best looking shoe I tried.

However, I do not want a black velvet shoe. Also, I am not thrilled with the front design.

This was a weird looking shoe. It was a wedge with a zipper in the back. The front ankle straps can be unbuckled.

When I tried on this shoe, I did not like how it felt or looked. You can notice a bow in the left side of the show around the base of the ankle. I tried to buckle and unbuckle the shoe in order to straighten out the side of the shoe. But I was not able to straighten it out. It appeared as though the show has a design flow that creates this buckle. At least the design does not work on my feet.

So I definitely do not like this shoe.
This is a black wedge. It was a different looking shoe. It fit well but I did not like the look. Its unique and maybe designed for a younger woman.

I might work, if I wanted to have a younger look when going out to the club. But its not really for me. Its just not my style.

This was a nice slingback shoe. I did not like the heel. It was too boxy.

Also the rear strap was in poor condition. The strap looks good from this picture, but on the other side the strap was loose. There was not buckle on this strap. It was an elastic ban which looked out of shape. So the strap is not tight around my ankle.

I like the boxy front because it makes my foot look smaller.

But I would not purchase this shoe.

I tried on six pair of shows over 45 minutes and would not buy any of them. I did not like the shoe design or the shoe did not fit well.

I just purchased two pair of flat shoes from Shoe Show. I am wearing the green pair today.

But their choice of heels in this store are currently poor.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Thursday May 14, 2015 - Yesterday Femboy day

Yesterday I had my electrology session and ran a few errands.

It was a warm day in Atlanta (80+ degrees). So I wore my yellow jeggings and a yellow T-Shirt. I added a green low cut T-shirt and my new green flats. My pocketbook was a green and yellow bag and my dark green hat. My necklace had a green  necklace and my brackets and rings were based on silver green and yellow.

I enjoy putting outfits together from items I purchased from different stores and/or at different times.

This is the first Femboy outfit that was bright and stood out from the crowd. I loved the color and wanted to find a way to wear my yellow. But I must admit that I though it was might be to bright and attract attention.

But I felt bright and happy today. This outfit allowed me to slightly push the boundaries and it made me a little cautious. The boundaries are within my mind not
the public reaction. I wonder if I go out like this, what will people think. Why should I care what they think? Its really what I think they think.

Well the pants are a little short, so I added my silver ankle bracelet. It not in the first picture, but is in the second picture.

The first picture in my bedroom and the second picture was taken outside of the electrology clinic.

As I said earlier, I love this outfit because it fits my feeling today. Its warm outside and I feel pretty. All that exercising paid off. I like the top green T-Shirt and its lower hemline hugs my narrow hips and the plunging neckline shows a matching yellow T-shirt across my breast line.

I spent 75 minutes in the electrologist chair. I hurt but I just felt pretty and relaxed.

Before I got to my appointment. I stopped at the U.S. Post Office to mail a check. This Post Office does not have an outside mailbox. So I got out and walked in to the lobby. Once in the lobby, I dropped the letter in the mail slot. The Post Office was busy as the line to the counter was up to the entry door. There were people in cars and entering and exiting the building. I was a little nervous but I got out and held my head high and slowly walked in. I felt like I belonged. Most people were like me and too busy to react to me. Maybe someone sitting in one of the cars said or though something, but how do I know or care.

Instead of worrying about what others think, I need to practice walking upright and slowly with a very slight sway to my hips.

After my session, I went to try on some heels. I will discuss that adventure tomorrow. I wanted to go to Goodwill, but I was running late, So I will go today or Friday.

On the way home, I stopped at Family Dollar. I had to pick up some cereal for my grandchildren. I was going to go to the supermarket or Walmart, but it was faster to go to a new Family Dollar that opened on the way home.

I got out without hesitation and walked in. It was busy. I walked and found the cereal aisle. While I was deciding which cereal to buy, a young lady and her teenage daughter joined me to look for some cereal. I grabbed a box of frosted flakes. The lady told me that was a good choice and that she was hungry which is a bed time to buy groceries. I agreed and said I was looking for low sugar cereal but could not find any. She told me it looked like I did not have to worry about calories. I thanked her and said I must worry to stay in shape. I did find some Family Dollar brand corn flakes but decided against it. As I left with two boxes of cereal, I said goodbye to the lady next to me and she told me to have a nice day.

I walked to the front counter and there were two cashiers talking while a customer in front of me was waiting for her husband to return from the car with her ID. She needed her ID to use her pay card. While I was waiting the cashiers saw me but paid no attention as they talked about how busy the store was.

The customer in front of me did not notice me. When her husband and teenage son showed up with her ID, both of them did not turn my way. They showed her ID and talked to the cashier and then they went back to the car.

Once that customer finished, the cashier said hello to me and rang up my items. I added some toothpaste. I paid by debit card and the cashier said thank you. I returned a thank you and have a nice day. I tried to use a softer voice speaking through my head instead of my chest.

It was hot outside but this outfit kept me cool. As I walked back to the car, there were people outside and in their cars. I did not notice anyone staring at me or even caring.

I am going to wear yellow more often.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Wednesday May 13, 2015 - Today will be my Femboy day and Electrology session

Yesterday was a busy day for me and I had the spend most of it in boy mode. So I ended up moving my Femboy activities to today.

I changed my electrology session from my normal Tuesday morning to Wednesday afternoon. I will then go shopping after or before my session.

I am happy about making this adjustment and look forward to shopping, not so my session. Even with a desensitizing creme, the mustache area and especially under the nose hurts. Luckily, I do not have much further to go. I no longer shave. Yeah!!

There is no way I would have gotten this far without spending the first couple of years using E3000 in Dallas.  It is expensive but worth every penny. I actually started my Femboy look during those sessions.

I wanted to go as a women but had to let my beard grow and could not wear makeup.So I developed a feminine male look, which became my current Femboy look.