Thursday, August 31, 2017

Thursday August 31, 2017 - Transban in military

Transgender Military Members At Risk Of Harassment Under Trump, Says Former Army Secretary

During the presidential campaign, Donald Trump promised to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer individuals. But with his directive Friday banning transgender people from serving openly in the military, the president rolled back progress that was already underway during President Barack Obama's administration.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Wednesday August 30, 2017 - Adjusting my Bra straps

We older girls, never had those girl events in which we learned those little things about female clothes. I always buy my bras and just wear them. When I was filling them with socks, bird seed (Thanks Stana), paper, etc, I never thought about adjusting the bra straps.

Yesterday, I decided to play around with my bra and adjust the bra straps to see the impact. The impact was noticeable. I realized I can use the straps to change the look of my breasts when wearing certain clothes.

Here is the look when I loosen the straps to its largest length. I ended up with my bra cup opening up and creating additional space. This would allow more room for growth. The look in my orange top changed. The fullness was there but the cleavage is minimized.

Next I decided the tighten the straps and thus shorten the length of the straps. Notice the space within the bra disappears and it lifts my breasts. Now notice my cleavage in the same orange top. Its full and it makes my breasts look bigger and fuller.

I now realize that I can use the straps of my bras, to change my look and adjust it for the dress and/or top I want to wear.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Saturday August 26, 2017 - HRT Update

I am in my 15th month of HRT. Taking my meds is now a daily routine that I do not think about. With my dysphoria gone, I just live my life without that "secret" desire to present as  female. I feel my femininity everyday, both mentally and physically.

Physically, I woke up this morning and when I sat up, I felt that soreness in my breasts and they felt like they were being pulled down. I quickly put on a bra for support and felt much better.

I always liked wearing bras. I remember as a pre-teen, wearing my mother's bra and girdle to bed and wishing I would grow breasts one day. It took 50 years and I look and feel great. I enjoy wearing bras everyday.

Yesterday, I was daydreaming about a speech I was working on and started crying.

My mind started wandered off into a science fiction alternate reality in which I was about 70 years old and talking to a 20 year old college student. The 20 year old college student was my dad and I was giving him life advice. Yet I knew he would be may Dad and I started crying because I missed him and I knew how bright his future was. Sounds like a cool movie script.

BTW, I can not wait until Neflix's Dark Mirror season 4 comes out. If you love the Outer Limits or Twilight Zone, check out Dark Mirror.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Wednesday August 23, 2017 - 14 Month HRT measurements

Below are my current measurements and the change since last month. The picture is followed by an explanation and then a table showing the monthly changes since I began HRT,  on June 10, 2016.

The above chart shows my current measurements and the changes over last month. 

Only two areas had a slight change, my shoulders and my belly. Both of those were not welcomed changes. It shows that I must figure out how to get back into the gym.














42.5 43.0
ABOVE BREAST 37.0 37.0 38.0 38.0
BUST LINE 38 40.0 42.0 42.0
BRA BAND 36 34.0 34.5 34.5
WAIST@BELLY BUTTON 38 35.5 35.5 36.0
HIPS 40 39.0 39.0 39.0
THIGHS 37.0 37.0 37.0 37.0
HIPS VS SHOULDERS -- 3.0 3.5 4.0
BUST LINE VS BRA BAND 2.0 6.0 7.5 7.5

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Tuesday August 22, 2017 - Sexuality and HRT

One of the biggest changes under HRT is how my body has changed when dealing with intimacy.

The 40+ years of puberty until June 10, 2016, I learned and expected my body and mind to react in a certain way. Males who read this post understand what that is. Sometimes, just thinking about it get you ready. You are on a hair trigger and it does not take much.

However, under HRT, so much has changed.

Mentally, I do not think about it often. I am still attracted to woman but I do not get stirred up when I see a pretty woman. There is a calmness that is always there.

I no longer get an erection from just thinking about sex or intimacy. Usually it takes watching porn.

But also looking at myself nude. I never use to really look at myself as being sexually attractive. Now I do. Sometimes when passing a mirror to get in the shower, I get that feeling. I find my new body incredibly sexy.

Before my Doctor added generic Viagra, I could get an erection but I would not last. Now it does. But its how I get an erection that has changed.

I suspect that HRT's effect is different for everyone.

For me, I am still learning ow my new body works.  I can still function as a man, when the time comes. In the past my body would get ready quickly. Now, I need a some buildup time of kissing and intimacy to get in the mode.

As my life adjusts to HRT becoming an everyday normal part of my life, learning about my new body, both mentally and physically, is my main priority.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Monday August 21, 2017 - Solar Eclipse

I was in the Ga mountains on Saturday. I took my Grandkids on an annual day trip to swim in a mountain river. It was crowded because people from around the southeast have descended into the area, so they can watch the Solar Eclipse today.

I remember the last one in 1977, that I watched in NJ. I can not believe its been 40 years.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Saturdkay August 19, 2017 - I am back

I am back. This week, I had a combination of writers block, a lot of work to get out and being tired.

Thank you for the emails of concern.

This brings up my new theory about life and existence.

We all have friends or know people only thru this virtual world. We access this world thru our machines (PC, mobile phone, tablet). If our device breaks, we can not longer communicate with our virtual community. We become "dead" to our community. However, it is assumed that we can fix or replace our technology and get back. Or in my case, I took sometime in the physical world to get some work completed and to relax. Now I am back.

What if our body is our "technology" to communicate in this physical world (reality)? The problem is that once this body breaks, we can no longer communicate with others in this reality. We can not buy another body and continue.

It's assumed, we are "dead". Once or body breaks, maybe we just move on with our other existence. Just like I did this past week.

Until we can upload ourselves into a cloud harddrive (Ray Kurzweld), which will allow us to have a new body "technology" build, death in this physical is final.

Who know? But I think we are about to find out in the next twenty years.

Meanwhile, I have alot to talk about with my virtual community

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Sunday August 13, 2017 - End Male Fail

Saturday was a very busy day for me. I had a presentation in the morning and hung out with my
Grandkids in the afternoon and evening.

We went to the movies,  shopping, dinner and visiting my brother. I now understand why people retire and say they want to spend more time with their grandkids.

Friday a bought this new stretch  T-shirt. I was a  woman's size small and I put it in over my sports bra.

It fits very tight and does a good job of flatting my chest, when in boy mode. I found it at Goodwill and plan on going to hunt for more.

Before T-shirt with regular bra.

After T-shirt over sports bra

Friday, August 11, 2017

Friday August 11, 2017 Chelsea Manning

Chelsea Manning Is A Glowing Beauty In New Vogue Profile

Chelsea Manning appears in the September issue of Vogue magazine, looking gorgeous and glowing in a red swimsuit on the beach with the wind in her hair and a smile on her face. In a tweet Thursday morning sharing the photo shot by Annie Leibovitz, the transgender activist wrote, "Guess this is what freedom looks like."

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Thursday August 10, 2017 - Start of 15th Month on HRT

I can not believe its been 15 months. I am very busy today meeting a deadline. So I am going to have to write my measurement post later.

I am wearing the same outfit I wore to my first HRT Doctor's appointment.

Here are a couple of pictures from that June 10, 2016 appointment.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Wednesday August 9, 2017 - Going back two years

Tomorrow in the end of my 14th month on HRT. I was deciding what to post today, so I decided to go back to my August 2015 posts, to see what I was writing about.

I was amazed at the subject matter and how much I have changed in those 2 years. I had known, in August 2015 that HRT was coming in about 10 months.

Approximately 90%-95% of the posts were about my personal female issues, I was discussing clothes, going out as a femboy and learning how to interact with the world as a female.

I could tell, my transition was a driving force in my life.

Now after 14 months of HRT, my public transition is not that important. I really love where I am mentally and physically. You might say I am in between because I can present at either a male or female.

I mostly dress in public as a male and enjoy buying male clothes. I still buy female clothes, but it's not a driving force. I look for female items that create a new wardrobe or enhance a current one.

But I do not make special time to just look for female clothes. Except for bras.

I have made peace with my public appearance.

Its now the social area that I am working on. Telling friends and finding new ones.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Tuesday August 8, 2017 - Bra donation

Yesterday, I donated my 36B bras. I only had 4 of them, but I really liked them.

It's funny that I remember why and when I bought each of them.

  1. The yellow poke-a-dot was a bright a vibrant color. 
  2. The bra with the purple flowers was so feminine.
  3. The blue lace bra was my favorite
  4. The white poke-a-dot was my first 36B

These bras were my favorite because unlike my 36 and 36A bras, these bras had a cup size that made me feel very feminine.

I will miss them because I have not found a set of 36D bras that were this nice, colorful and feminine. I only have 2 - 36D bras. I did find a nice one at the thrift store where I donated the ones above. The problem was the price at $5.50. I am going to wait until 1/2 price day. (lol)

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Sunday August 6, 2017 - Day to Day medication

Taking my meds twice a day, is now part of my normal ritual. Like taking a shower, brushing my teeth and eating.

As I each the end of Month 14, I realize that this is my routine for the rest of my life. 

I feel great both mentally and physically. 

I find it interesting that some mornings I wake up with sore breasts that need immediate support and other days, I feel nothing when I wake up.

I am getting tired of my strict eating habits to control my blood sugar and really miss certain foods. I am going to start going back to the gym to see if I can keep my blood sugar levels low, while expanding my food options.

This is just one of those days in which I am happy and frustrated at the same time.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Saturday August 5, 2017 - A majority in every State supports Transgender soldiers in the military.

There are still many bumps in the road, but the road is pointing in the right direction. When Wyoming and Utah support is +10 in our favor, there is major support for our service.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Thursday August 3, 2017 - Great LGBTQ animated short.

This short animated story about is young "love" We use to call it puppy love. As a guy, I can remember those feeling about a young girl I knew in 7th grade.

The story is about 2 boys, but it applies to everyone. 

For me, it was interracial. 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Wednesday August 2, 2017 - Transwoman murdered 6 miles from my house.

I have been a little nervous these past few days.

The 17th Tanswoman reported murdered by HRC, Tee Tee Dangerfield, occurred just 6 miles from my house. This murder occurred after a recent news update reported that the murder of my friend (2 miles from Dangerfield's murder) in November 2013.

Below is a recent news story about my friend's unsolved murder.

It worries me that 2 days after this TV story, another murder occurred.