Monday October 31, 2016 - Happy Halloween - nice makeup

The following short video is what Halloween is all about for young boys exploring who they are. He looks so happy and a great job was done on the makeup.

Thursday October 27, 2016 - A new commercial staring a transgender person.

I can definitely identify with this commercial.

In this Secret deodorant ad,  Karis Wilde, a transperson is debating her exit from a busy woman's bathroom. Though she does not say anything, I know exactly what’s going through her mind and having a good deodorant is a must.

Wednesday October 12, 2016 - Another Boy Fail

Sunday, before I went out, I decided that i was going to wear one of my 36B bras. I have a very pretty lace bra and I wanted to wear it. When I tried it on, I did not quite fill the cups. But I am getting closer. You can see me in it below.

I love the look of this bra, but you can see from the right side picture that there is still some empty space at the top. I do not quite push out the lace along each cup's top.

Even if the pace of my breast growth slows, which I expect, I will probably will fill out this bra and the other 36B bras by the end of the year (2.5 months).




I then tried on a variety of shirts, including one of my new shirts, to see how I look with this bra on. With each of the shirts below, I could not hide my breasts. I was failing in male mode. This is going to be an issue because I had not expected to go full-time until later in 2017. However, the changes I am experiencing may cause me to go full-time sooner. Or I will need to find away to hide my breasts. I may need a binder which I do not want to wear.

	If you look at these five pictures, you will see that my breasts line is obvious. Growing up with gyncomastia, I learned how the hide small breasts. If I go back to wearing a sports bra, that will help, but it it's not what I like to wear anymore. I thought I had a year of HRT before going full time. I no longer think I have that much time. I could see this as a big problem by January 2017. I might be able to hide my chest during the winter (Jan, Feb and part of March), but by spring 2017. I may have to go full-time.

I am in month 5 and I am having some issues I did not expect. I must try to get control of these issues, But I believe that the mental control I use to have is slipping away.

My main concerns are:

1. Concealing my breasts
2. Eating Control
3. Getting back in Gym

This HRT stuff is harder than I thought. But I would not give up the 5.5 years of planning or the 4 months of results.

Saturday October 8, 2016 - My first week living as Susan May 1994

In a previous post, I discussed my coming out in Sept 1993, as Susan through Tri-Ess. By the winter of 1994, I realized that Tri-Ess was not for me. It did not satisfy my dysphoria. As a matter of fact, it made me want more. I did not want to be a woman, once a month. I wanted to be one full-time.

However, this was a very busy time for me and transitioninng was out of the question. I was teaching full-time, with the Olympics coming, my appraisal business was running full-tilt and I was President of a growing and very success Little League program (50 baseball teams, on ESPN, CNN, ABC and NBC).

So I decided, I was going to use my May Hilton Head timeshare to live as a woman full-time for one week. I wanted to try and see if I go on vacation with only female clothes.

Starting in April, I starting buying shoes and outfits for seven days. I decided to even leave the house as Susan, drive 4 hours to Hilton Head and spend from Saturday afternoon until the next Saturday morning as Susan.

Even back in 1994, I kept my legs shaved. But on Friday night I did a body shave. On Saturday morning I shaved my face, dressed and added makeup. On the way out, I stopped and had acrylic nails added. It was the first time I had my nails done. I was nervous but it was fun to have nice long red nails (1990's).


After finishing my nails, I drove 4.5 hours to Hilton Head. I was early, as I could not check into my unit until after 5 pm. This allows the cleaning of the individual units.

I drove to the Island museum and toured it. I had a lady in the parking lot, take this picture.

After the museum tour, I checked into the Island Club. Again, I had a security guard, take this picture.I soon realized that heels were not worn at a beach resort. So I had all of these heel and ended up wearing my white sneakers and one pair of flats, the rest of the time.















I do not remember what I did everyday during the week. I know, I went grocery shopping on Saturday. I went shopping and bought some new foundation. The Mary Kay foundation was OK, but I ended up buying some new Fashion Fair foundation. I spent a few days practicing my makeup.

I did go canoeing one day. I liked this outfit. The white shorts and top were cute for the time.

The main problem I remember was how my foundation began to come off after sweating while canoeing. I did not realize that until I got back to the condo.

This was the first time I realized the difference between dressing as a male and being a female. I needed to check my makeup after I finished and before I paid the clerk. Also makeup and a workout do not go together.

This is another one of my outfits. I had the security guard take this picture.















Finally, I did go out one night to a club in Savannah. I did not get any pictures but it was nice to get dressed up and go out.

After the week was over, I wanted more. I had a great time and did this again in 1996, just 2 months before the Atlanta Olympics.

Tuesday October 4, 2016 - My first Time out

I was cleaning my closet and found a set of old pictures of Susan (1993-200). I can not believe how time flies. That was 16 to 23 years ago. Darn!

In 1990, I decided I need to address my dyphoria by telling my parents that the adversion therapy did not work. From that day until now, I have only worn woman panties. It was my early attempt at trying to address my dysphoria.

Finally in 1993, due to this new thing called the internet, I found a Tri-Ess group in Atlanta. I remember Tri-Ess from the Phil Donahue show. Tri-Ess is a national heterosexual crossdressing group that makes room for the wife or girlfriend.

The first time I went to a meeting, I was not dressed and just eat at the hotel restaurant while they were having a meeting. After the meeting, I approached them and talked to the President, who was a wife of one of the members. I asked if I could join.

I was welcomed with open arms and met another wife who was a Mary Kay associate. She invited me to her house for a makeup session.

So on September 12, 1993, I introduced Susan to the world. I checked into the local hotel and changed into Susan. I bought a name tag with Susan King on it. I do not remember what happened but I enjoyed the weekend and had some pictures taken. Below is one of them.

I like the dress but the makeup add hair needs work. I had bought some prescription glasses just to wear when dressed.

I remember those days of wearing stockings. I miss stockings because I have great legs, like my Mom and I loved the feel and look of stocking. My favorite stockings were ultra sheer black. I still have a draw full of stocking, but have not worn them in years. But, I still wear tights during the winter. .

The next month, I went to another weekend meeting. We walked from the hotel to a local Arby's for lunch. I was so scared. I remember feeling like I was in a fish bowl. We ordered and ate at the restaurant.

I do remember at this meeting talking about a national convention in Atlanta, called Southern Comfort. I thought it was a good idea and though about going. But I decided against it.

Below I placed my 1993 picture next to my Pre-HRT 2016 picture. I could highlight so many differences. But the main different in mental. In 1993, I was just peeking my head out of the closet. I was a guy, dressing as a woman. But I did not have the confidence and I did not know how to bring Susan out. I was so afraid.

By 2016, I have the confidence and thanks to the internet, I have the knowledge. Remember in 1993, there was no femulate.org. How did we live without it?

Who says we do not get better with age?

1993

2016

I have come a long way and I can not wait for the next chapter to unfold.