Monday September 5, 2016 - Time to work on voice.

I feel confident and comfortable while out and I am learning to have conversations with other woman while in public. Also, I am starting conversations with store clerks.

So now I think its time for me to start working on my voice. Currently, I try to soften my voice and talk less using my chest and more through my nose. I know I do not practice nearly enough.

I am committing to daily practice a few times a day. I may end up reaching out to a coach for instant feedback.

However, I found this older (2 years ago) reddit post that I am going to use as a starting point. I like the steps chosen and the comments are helpful.

MtF Voice Training Regimen from asktransgender

Sunday September 4, 2016 - TERFs are transphobia feminists - Have you every heard of them?

Yesterday I was having  rough day. I felt lonely, insecure and vulnerable. I ended up stayed in my panamas all day. I spent hours reading a great  new SF book in a series, surfed the web, watched some TV and started watching a Netfix show call Stranger Things. (my two youngest daughters recommeded the series to me).

I completed a manicure while watching TV and just lounging around.



While surfing the web, I stumbled across the term TERF's.

What are TERFs?
Trans Exclusionary Radical "Feminists", by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls. Trans-exclusionary radical feminism (or TERF) is a subgroup of radical feminism characterized by transphobia, especially transmisogyny, and hostility to the third wave of feminism.

I did not know they have been around since the 1970's. Recently they have joined forces with other anti-trans groups to:

1.) Claim that transwomen are cismen, that transmen are ciswomen* and purposefully misgender transpeople.

2.) Out transpeople to employers.

3.) Tell trans women their surgery is about supporting rape culture*.

4.) Claim that a world without trans people is preferable.1

6.) Find that your anti-trans arguments and the anti-trans arguments of far rightwing groups match.2

7.) Assert cisprivilege isn’t real; that non-trans people aren’t privileged* in a society that’s hostile to trans people.

8.) Lie about rape and death threats you’ve received from trans people.

9.) Assert that trans people transition to satisfy their sexual urges.

10) Degrade and dehumanize the genitals of trans people.

11.) Work to overturn trans equality protections.

12.) Work to halt access to trans medical care.

Here is a video from a transwoman about TERFs.

Here is an article about TERFs.


Radical Feminists and Conservative Christians Team Up Against Transgender People

Saturday September 3, 2016 - Feeling different today

I am feeling lazy today. I want to lay in the bed and snuggle with a nice soft teddy bear.

I have been having trouble sleeping the last few days. I like to sleep on my stomach but it now hurts my breasts when I put pressure on them. Two days ago, I saw my granddaughter and gave her a big hug, I ended up pressing her against my breast and I felt the pain shoot down its center.

Any pressure on my breasts creates that pain

As I lay here, writing this, I wonder if this is part of my mental changes. Its a feeling of wanting to be held and protected. And return that protection and caring with love and an inner peace.

Its not sexual but sensual. I have not has sexual urges in weeks. I have not thought about it. But this morning its different, its not between my legs but between my ears. It's feelings of loving, caring and companionship. Its though my soft skin that I crave these things.

I hope to shake these feelings, because I have some work I want to complete today. I am going to get up, eat, take my medicine and wear a cute outfit today. I am very confused this morning.

Friday September 2, 2016 - Dad's supporting their transgender children.

Growing up, I felt a little neglected by my father. He was busy with his business, politics, a radio talk show and helping the extended family in the neighborhood. He was the smart kid in the family that made good. Not just high school football player, SGA School President but also college, dental school and doctor.

I had fun growing up but when my "stash" was discovered, things changed. My Dad reduced his outside work to spend more time with me. I think he felt that spending too much time with my mother might make me gay.

It was cool, but the aversion therapy made me go deeper into the closet and become the son, my dad deserved. I was the oldest and I had to uphold the name and success.

But we never really talked about my transgender issues.

I know my Dad did the best he could and told me often that he loved me and how proud he was on me.

So I idealized my Dad because of what he accomplished and all of the good karma he sent out. I was on the receiving end of that good Karma that came back over many decades.

Now in the 2010's, understanding and acceptance is growing. I am so glad I am able to see this maturing in society. There will still be some down turns but the overall movement is up.

I found the short video below by HRC, very emotional. Its about fathers discussing supporting their Transgender children.

Thursday September 1, 2016 - Quick HRT Update

I have settled into my HRT routine. I take my meds twice a day and just go about my day.

I have not heard from my Dr's office about my blood work. That is a good sign. However my A1C level is still above the normal range. Since I am not exercised on a regular basis, I am going to reduce my carbohydrate level (bread mostly) by eating more salads.

I hope to talk myself back into the gym. With football starting, I can go watch a game while exercising.

 Monday, I purchased my 4th set of meds and will begin taking them around September 10th.

I am coming to the end of month 3 and the changes are less noticeable. The early quick changes are over and now its the slow deeper changes that are occurring. I suspect some of these changes will be more noticeable to others than me.

I just have not noticed any changes mentally or physically over the past week to 10 days. My body has finally adjusted and its just slowing working.

I noticed yesterday, my male black pants, I use with my suit is tight around the hips and thighs. I had not worn them in awhile. They fit my waist just fine. Also, some of my male dress shirts are getting tight around the chest,

This weekend I am going to purchase a couple of male shirts and pants from Goodwill to tide me over. I do not want to spend a lot of money on new male clothes as my body changes and I will soon dress female 24/7.

So Goodwill it is.