Friday, February 10, 2017

Friday February 10, 2017 - 8 months HRT - Mental changes

I can not believe its been 8 months since my HRT journey started. I remember when it was 8 months pre-HRT and I could not wait.

Well, there have been many changes both physical and mental. Today, I am going to discuss mental changes and Saturday, the physical ones.

The mental changes are subtle and kind of sneak up on you. I can not tell you exactly what happened in which month, but as I compare today to 8 months ago, there are many changes.

What I Listen to:
I grew up listening to talk radio. My Dad had a local weekly talk show and I became interested in listens to politics instead of music. I was never big in music. I remember when my Dad took me to his favorite record store (what is that?) and he bought me a few 45's (?).

I developed a small record collection in high school and college but never a CD collection. I did have a cassette collection as I picked cassettes over 8-tracks. I did not have a favorite music station.

I always listened to talk radio in the morning for news, weather and traffic. Now I use Google. In the 1990's as talk radio tilted right with Rush growing during Clinton's term, I turned to sports radio.

I have not listened to my sports station since Nov/Dec 2016. This was during the time the Falcon's made their run to the Superbowl. I just found it boring. Instead, I have built a series of youtube music playlists. I now listen to them constantly. I find the music better reflects my mood and I like the messages in the songs.

My Emotions:
Yesterday, I had a bad reading with my Blood test and I became very gloom and doom. I started crying and I turned on my playlist of love songs. It took a while for me to recover. I called my friend Karen and we had dinner. We laughed, joked and I felt much better.

I have become more emotional. Usually its when I think about certain things, listen to certain songs or see something that brings back specific memories. I like this state of mind.

My Driving:
I use to be a very offensive driver and believed that driving was like war and you had to take the road. Now, I do not care and I take my time going where I need to go. I listen and sing to my music. If someone cuts me off, that is OK. It's no longer an act of war.

Being Female 24/7
I stated in this blog that in 2017, I would begin presenting female 24/7. Recently, I have written that I have paused and I do not know when or if I will. That is because my desire to dress is gone. I still wear female under garments and night clothes. But dresses and skirts with makeup, it is no longer a driving force like it had been for about 50 years.

I get more compliments from family, friends and even strangers about my youthful look and attitude. I really like where I am and I hope I stay here for the remaining 25+ years. In March, end of month 9, I will see my Doctor and discuss this with him in more detail. I expect to take hormones, the rest of my life, I just need to discuss the regimen.

In the meanwhile, maybe spring time will motivate me to put on a pretty dress and get out more.


  1. Susan -

    I think your brain has accepted its femininity, and doesn't have to always put your femininity on display to prove it to you. It doesn't mean that you won't wear dresses and skirts. Instead, you'll wear them when a cisgender woman might wear them.

    Don't worry about how female you are. Instead, keep on the HRT regimen, and see where it goes. It's easy for me to say, not being on hormones because of my weight. But I feel that if you stop, you'll go through an equivalent of menopause - and who wants those headaches?


  2. I found that starting on hormones made me feel a lot calmer in myself.
    I'm also a lot calmer and patient when driving. I still enjoy the experience of pushing the car I'm driving when the roads and traffic allow it but the rest of the time I'm a lot more patient and don't mind giving way for other road users.
    Emotionally, although I can still control my emotions when I need to, I also find myself able to cry more easily, something that I used to do very rarely.