Sunday January 1, 2017 - Wow 2017. Happy New Year

2016, was a year of big changes for me. 2017 will be another year of change  and I can not wait.

Saturday December 31, 2016 - #1 of Top 5 viewed Posts of 2016.

The top post of 2016 is the post showing of my breast development during an early 5 week period  of HRT. I have since learned that both physical and mental development comes in spurts.

In this blog, I try to walk a fine line between honestly talking about what is happening to me and voyeurism. I place my more intimate pictures are on a reddit site.

More of this blog's traffic finds its way to the posts that come closest to crossing that line.  I could probably increase traffic by increasing more posts and pictures of my physical changes. But that is not what I want this blog to cover.

There are enough blogs out their that cover the more adult themes. I would like my blog to cover other items.

BTW, I have reached that 36B bra size.

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I took a picture in my pink bra to show that it was the same style as the new turquoise bra I purchased. I noticed yesterday how my breasts have changes since the last time I took a picture in my pink bra.

The picture on the left was taken on August 16, 2016. The picture on the right was take on September 23, 2016. I could not help but notice that in just 37 days, there was that much growth. I knew it indirectly because I have been having trouble with brushing up against door frames. Also, at night when I roll over onto my stomach, I feel them  and it hurts. Finally as I stated in an earlier post, some of my male shirts could not hid them. Also, the way I hug people had to change because of the pressure it puts my breasts.

At this rate, I maybe in a 36B before the end of the year.

Friday December 30, 2016 - Male/Female bathrooms

I was in Washington DC on Thursday. I went to this burger joint to see if I wanted to eat lunch there.

I saw these bathrooms. Each bathroom had a single stall. The restaurant made each of these available for either gender.

This is how all single stall bathrooms should be. This gives the public the most flexibility. Also, if one bathroom was down for service or cleaning, the other bathroom is available for both genders.

I wondered if the city has something to due with this or was this an owner decision.

Either way, I like this a lot.

Friday December 30, 2016 - #2 of Top 5 viewed Posts of 2016.

I was looking forward to starting my HRT.  On February 27, 2016, I posted information about a 35 year old transwoman.

Now that I have been on HRT over 6 months, I can say I was correct about the impact of HRT on my body and mind.

My shoulders have narrowed, I have good (very good) breast growth and my body hair grows very slowly.

My only problem has been my stomach. I did not get as flat as I should have. I have gained weight, especially early and now its hard for me to get motivated to exercise. Even with my diabetes. I would like to see if I can control my blood sugar with exercise along with eating health and drinking oregano tea.

Its sill a work in progress.

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Below is a nice set of  two .gif pictures that show the impact of  HRT on a 35 year old Transwoman. I noticed four things over the slightly more than 1 year time period..

1. Sometime during the later half, her shoulders appear to narrow (muscle loss?)
2. Breast growth is good
3. Stomach shrinks (how much from daily bike riding?)
4. Lost body hair (how much from shaving?)

I really want to get my stomach as flat as possible before I start HRT in June. I think being almost 60, I want to start with as feminine a body shape as possible, which means as little fat around the middle as possible.

Then after the blood work shows my body is controlled by estrogen more than testosterone, I will increase calories and reduce exercise in hopes the fat will deposit in feminine areas.

She did a good job of recording the changes and these changes were significant, to me.

35 MTF. NSFW-ish. HRT Gifs of changes, weeks 8-74

Thursday December 29, 2016 - #3 of Top 5 viewed Posts of 2016.

I have been on HRT for  6+ months. In the Feb 4, 2016 post below, I created the post to set a benchmark of how I looked before I started HRT.

Today, I can really see the difference. On Feb. 4, 2017, I am going to create a post comparing photos that will be about a year or more apart.

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I put together a slide show of my Susan selfies in 2015. I think I am getting better and look forward to growing and improving in 2016.

I wonder how I will look this time next year after being HRT for 7+ months.

Wednesday December 28, 2016 - Hats

When I was in Femboy mode, I use to wear a hat. That was because I was not wearing a wig and wanted to feminize  my head  since I have a sever case of male pattern baldness.

Now I would like to incorporate hats into my everyday look. I worry about having a bigger than normal head size which is exacerbated with my wig. So finding the right size maybe difficult. I am going hat shopping in 2017 to add some hats to my wardrobe.

Below are some hats with a 1940' style. I really like the felt and fedora styles.

 

Wednesday December 28, 2016 - #4 of Top 5 viewed Posts of 2016.

I can not believe 2016 is almost over. I am going to post the Top 5 Posts of 2016, based on the number of views, over the next 5 days, leading up to New Years Eve.

As I review my posts over the past year, I noticed that I have changed. I will discuss that on my January 1, 2017 post. Below is #4:

One of the popular posts are the infographic posts in which fashion is shown on one condensed and graphic based page. There was a lot of interest in this necklace graphic. I liked it because I t ry to buy necklaces of different lengths that will match my top's neckline.

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One of the issues I am constantly working on his jewelry. My daughter says more is less.

I am always trying t figure out the best necklace to wear. Below is a nice inforgraphic about necklaces and your neckline.

This inforgraphic helped me with my square neckline sweater. I did not know what type of necklace to wear.

Tuesday December 27, 2016 - Ofcourse Internet bullies go after Avery Jackson. She is only a 9 year old transgirl.

Threats, bullying hit family of KC transgender girl on cover of National Geographic

Tuesday December 27, 2016 - Top 5 posts of 2016

I can not believe 2016 is almost over. I am going to post the Top 5 Posts of 2016, based on the number of views, over the next 5 days, leading up to New Years Eve.

As I review my posts over the past year, I noticed that I have changed. I will discuss that on my January 1, 2017 post. Below is #5:

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Yesterday I had lunch will my cousin and it went very well. I spent the day as Susan, which included meeting with my cousin. I will call him John.

I got dressed around 11 am. I decided to wear my brown dress and low wedge open toe heel. I really need to find a better set of brown heels. My selection of brown flats is good but my two brown heels are both open toe wedges. The one with the higher heel, hurt my feet when I was in Orlando and the lower heel, that I wore today is OK but casual. I need at least a higher heel that is more formal or for a professional look.

I had to go to the bank first and cash a check. The cashier used female pronouns even after looking at my male ID. That was nice. Normally, I get no pronouns after they look at my ID.

I drove over to John's house. There were about five cars in the driveway, so I called him to come out as I was going to take in to lunch. He had no idea I was dressed. When he got in the car, he just looked at me. I decided to just come out with it. I told him I was transgendered and I am here to help. I felt a rush of emotion but just caught the tears.

He said wow, I never knew. For the next 90 minutes, we just drove around and talked. I started by discussing my history which started at 8 years old.

Then I listened to him. His main issue, is that his mother and father are police officers and anti-lgbt. He said his Dad and his friends talk bad and laugh about the lgbt community all the time. He is 23 years old, not working, living at home, chain smokes cigarettes, and take drugs. I told him a lot of transpeople try to commit suicide and I think he is trying to do it slowly.

He admitted he is depressed and can only dress when no one is in the house. He is afraid to go out because of what people might think. I told him that I had the same issue. Our biggest problem is in our head. One of the first things is to realize that today most people do not care and have their own issues. Also with the internet and TV/movies, everyone has been exposed to us and its no big deal anymore. But breaking our own mental chains, is a major hurtle.

At this point he wants to be able to dress as a women or a man, when ever he wants. He wants to find a woman who would accept that. I told him, there are many woman out there who would.

He mentioned that when he shops for women clothes, he is surprised how many clerks tell him that there are many guys who shop for women clothes for themselves. He also talked with some who had boyfriends who dressed.

We went to Subway to eat and the lady behind the counter used female pronouns. Later, John told me that he felt much better after seeing me interact with people and how they interacted with me. I told him that if you act like a lady, you will be treated like one.

I then gave him examples of people who stare at me. I told him, as a women, women look at you to check out your outfit and men look at you because its in their nature. Those looks could be one of admiration not disgust. How do you know?

Well why care because you do not know what is in their mind. Do not let one person out of a thousand mess up your day.

Then we talked about a plan.

1. Limit alcohol, reduce smoking and quit drugs - I will help by being someone you can call, text or visit anytime. We can go shopping, have a makeup day or get together anytime he wants. If he needs help getting off this stuff, I will work with him  to find a place that can help.
2. Get a job, even part time to earn enough money to get out of the house. Even if its just a room in a boarding house. He lives in a toxic environment that is causes this suicidal behavior.
3. Consider me your Aunt Susan.
4. Go back to school and get a marketable skill. This will allow you to increase your income and standard of living.

Those steps are not easy but I told him that he should use his motivation to express is femininity as a motivation to follow these steps.

He has told a few of his friends and most have been accepting. A few were not and they are no longer friends. I told him that will happen and that I am afraid of the same thing. But true friends will stick by you.

Overall, it was a great meeting and I hope I can help him. But he has to want to help himself.

Monday December 26, 2016 - Are car manufacturers leading the way?

Below is a new Audi commercial that supports the idea that all toys are gender neutral. In a previous post, I showed a Ford commercial that supports children playing with all toys.

This gender neutrality stance goes beyond toys and into the general community. This new generation of children growing up without boy/girls toys, makes it an easier leap to boy/girl dress and transgender people..

December 25, 2016 - Merry Christmas

Christmas Day. It reminds me of all those Christmas Days past and how it tracts your personal history.

From being a kid trying to catch Santa and excited about gifts. Dinner at my Grandparents

To hiding and wrapping my kids gifts and seeing their excitement while hosting dinner.

Now its grandkids and going to my oldest  daughter's first hosted Christmas Dinner.

Saturday December 24, 2016 - Happy Hanukkah.

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. So, Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish friends. I hope tonight and the next 7 nights as are enjoyed by all.

Friday December 23, 2016 - Doctor's appointment - some Issues

 I could not get my hair out of my face. But I am getting better and faster with my makeup and dressing.

I had my six month appointment yesterday. I told my doctor that things were going really well and I felt great. Both mentally and physically, I feel that I am in a better place.

But I had two issues that he was worried about. One was that my liver enzyme level was out of line and that my A1C blood test results were not good. These results were from 3.5 months ago, so he added some new test for my blood.

I have been working on my blood sugar levels. But they are still 100% higher than they should be. I am going to try to get back into the gym and continue my strict and boring food choices.

If this does not work along with my oregano tea, then I am going to have to take some medicine to keep it under  control. I no longer eat any sweets or high carb foods. I drink only water. Its only baked/grilled meats, salads and certain vegetables. Yet my blood sugar levels are too high. I have a boring menu to choose from and its frustrating.

I have to see about this liver issue. My doctor will let me know the results.

I spent a few minutes talking to my doctor about sex. I do not like to talk much about it in this blog. But I wanted to talk to him about it. I stopped having any erections about 2 month ago. That is OK for now as I have other issues to worry about. I was surprised when he told me that many of his MTF patients use Cialis and that he would prescribe it for me, when I am ready.

I am going to spend the next 90 days studying Cialis and HRT before I decide what  to do. After 90 days, I will be back in to see him and decide.

So I have homework over the next 3 months:

1. Reduce my blood sugar levels 50%,
2. Read and talk to people about Cialis and HRT and
3. Make sure my liver is OK

Always something to do, but that is part of the fun about living.

Thursday December 22, 2016 - This video is BS! I am mad.

Here is a short video from ABC News(?) about a transgender study. See if you can see what makes me mad. I am going to communicate with them about this, Today! No, Now!




ABC Breaking News | Latest News Videos

Wednesday December 21, 2016 - Settling into HRT

I have my rescheduled Doctor's appointment tomorrow. I now set a daily reminder on my Google calendar to make sure I take my meds on time. It use to be the highlight of my day. Now I might get too busy and forget.

Mentally, I am so calm and loving it. I am thinking clearer and more relaxed. With no more dysphoria, I dress how ever I feel for the day. Boy mode or girl mode. In boy mode I get compliments about how young I look. In girl mode, I am treated as the normal girl, I present.

I am listening to more music and less sports and talk shows. Yesterday, I was listening to a new Youtube playlist I created and I kept crying at certain songs that reminded me of past events.

My body is still changing but its slow which is Ok with me. I really like how I look. I see female in the mirror and my figure is slowly coming together.

I can not wait to tell the Doctor how I am doing and thank him. My appointment is in the afternoon, so I am going to work in my home office first. I might go catch a movie afterwards.

Tuesday December 20, 2016 - Top 10 Most Beautiful Transpeople in Hollywood.

I found this list interesting. I like these Top 10 lists because it provides something to talk about. What do you think?

Monday December 19, 2016 - TSA worked out surprisingly well.

Yesterday I completed a roundtrip flight to Branson MO. It was so cold. I grew up in NJ and now I remember why I am in Atlanta. When I walked off that plane the wind (my Dad use to call it "The Hawk") cut thru my clothes like I was naked. I was so worried about TSA, I did not dress properly.

Anyway, I dropped my rental car off early (7:30 am) and took the free tram to the airport. Even at 7:50 am on Sunday, it was busy.

As I waited in line, which moved pretty fast, I noticed a bomb sniffing dog walking past everyone. You ended up walking past the dog twice, once on each side of you. Its been a long time since I have flown (I think August 2015), but I do not remember dogs.

I got to the check-in and said hello to the TSA lady while reading here name off the name tag. She smiled and said hello back. I walked to the scanning area and looked for those silver plastic tubs. There were staked beyond everyone's reach and we were told to put our luggage and/or coat on the conveyor belt.  I noticed that everyone was going through the old metal detector and not the body scanning machine.

Atlanta airport is the business airport in the world and this one scanning area has over 20 lines. None of them were using the body scanner. One reason I stopped flying is that I do not trust a machine that can see through your clothes and check your body. I do not know what type of rays they are using.

My Dad was a dentist for 50 years. He and many of his classmates died on cancer. They believe it was from those old X-ray machines. If you remember those days, the dentist put a heavy blanket on you before x-rays were taken. Then the dentist stood behind a "protected" wall. Back then, the companies said the machine was safe. Yeah, right!

So, I do not trust the body scanning machine.

Once I put my coat with all my stuff in the pockets, on the conveyor, I noticed no one was taking off their shoes or removing their belts (I did not wear one, just in case). The guy asked me to walk thru the metal detector and I was through and on my way with minutes. What a relief.

But this process was different and more like the pre-9/11 screening. Except for the dog, I wonder why the change back to the old way? It is temporary or permanent?

On the way back to Atlanta, TSA in Springfield was the same way.  As a matter of fact the traveler who followed me through the metal detector, mentioned that he was surprised that he did not have to take off his shoes. I told the TSA guy that I had worn my good socks, just in case. I listened to my Mom about having clean socks, just in case.

Other than laughing, he did not respond.

Overall the day went well, except for me not being prepared for the cold weather. But I was ready for any problems brought on by the body scanner.

Sunday December 18, 2016 - TSA, Wish me luck.

I have a day trip to Branson, MO to inspect some timeshare facilities. Its too far to drive from Atlanta, so I have to fly. This is my first flight since starting HRT. I do not fly often and one reason is that I am always flagged for additional screening (pat down).

The guy always pats me down around my chest and shoulder areas. I think it was because of my sports bra Well now I must wear regular bras as my breasts are larger than the last time I flew (over a year ago).

By the time you read this, I will have successfully (I hope) gone through the screening process.

I never liked the screening process and now its worse and I am stressed. I am going in boy mode, so I will be have a pat down by a guy. I just hope they will not make a big deal about it.

Below is the TSA web page to help Transpeople navigate airport screening.


Transgender Passengers

Saturday December 17, 2016 - Logic

Friday December 16, 2016 - Powerful Commercial

I felt the tension in the room. But I always conformed.

Thursday December 15, 2016 - Ford commercial - gender stereotypes start as children

I saw this commercial while surfing the net. Wow, the reverse must be true. What activities are for "girls"? How about playing with Barbie dolls. I use to hide and play with my sister's Barbie dolls.

This commercial is based on a 2011 study. I found more information about that study. Here

Wednesday December 14, 2016 - Sad

Being from Atlanta and being a member a of Tri-Ess in the early 1990's, I felt a closeness to the Southern Comfort. I never attended. But I did visit once to take my electrologist (e3000) out to lunch.

Tuesday December 13, 2016 - My Gender and Sexuality

I have not talked much about my sexuality and how it fits in with my gender. Now that I have passed the 6 month HRT period, it's time to talk about it. It is not turning out how I thought it would.

First a little background. My sexuality was always heterosexual. I knew I wanted to get married and have kids. Like most guys I learned the hard way and under a lot of stress, how to talk to girls, when to kiss them and hold hands, all that teenage stuff.

All the while dealing with this need to crossdress. I remember as a teen going to the shrink who was trying to cure me and I told him that I would only crossdress at certain times. At that point I realized that there might be a sexual component to it. It was the late 1960's and I though I might be gay.

But I was never attracted to guys. I was always woman.

I assumed that once I started HRT, I would change my attraction from woman to men. But that has not happened. I still do not find men attractive no matter what clothes I wear. I still find woman attractive. I even find my new body very sexy.

What has changed is how I approach sex and intimacy. It's no longer penis centered. It's more about the environment and the activity leading up to intimacy. I would call it the mental foreplay. If I would have listened to the guys and the books I read that discussed this, I would have been been able to get woman I wanted.  I now get it.

I am attracted to woman and I find that its a mindmeld in which two people come together overtime and reach a point of mental intimacy before physical intimacy. The best way to put it might be to say my sexuality has moved from between my legs to between my ears.

I thought I would transition and find a boyfriend, if I were lucky enough. But now I know, if I find someone, it will be with a woman. I am at least over 95+% sure. Never say never.

Monday December 12, 2016 - Fashion Sense (Cents).

I am still learning about fashion and working on my personal style. In the past, I would to read magazines and cut out pictures of what I like. But in this digital age its online blogs and youtube videos. One of my favorite sources is a vblog  is Wendy's Lookbook.

Last Spring I posted one of my favorite fashion videos about scarfs. She did a great job on this video and has over 37M views. WOW! See Here

I was watching one of her older videos that showed 100 outfits in about 3 minutes. I like this video because its fast and provided me with a lot of good ideas.

Sunday December 11, 2016 - The mirror.

For decades I only saw a man when looking in the mirror. Slowly, Susan is coming into focus. So I can relate to the comic below..

Julia Kaye has a nice Instagram site that is using her own cartoons to document her transition. It appears that she started HRT around the same time I did. Her Instagram site is upandoutcomics.

🚨PLEASE READ🚨This is part of a serious autobio series I started months back to document my gender transition. I'd only been on hormones for 5 months at this point. ✨June 26th, 2016✨I had a hard time seeing myself as a real woman due to internalized transphobia toward myself, I was deeply uncomfortable with myself when I wasn't yet close to passing. It's still something I struggle with from time to time, though not nearly as often. It can difficult to acknowledge internalized transphobia but it's a real thing, I'm not perfect, I have hangups and baggage. (If you'd like to support my transition and enjoy my work, check out my patreon page in my bio)

A photo posted by Julia Kaye (@upandoutcomic) on Dec 4, 2016 at 12:56pm PST

Saturday December 10, 2016 - Month 6 measurements

Below are my current measurements and the change since last month. The picture is followed by an explanation and then a table showing the monthly changes since I began HRT.

The above chart shows that last month 2 of 7 measurements did not change. However all five of the other measurements changed for the better..

In November, I did not go to the gym. Its the first time in almost 70 months that I did not go. It is very hard to get up and go. I need to because I want to test my exercise and what it does to my blood sugar.

My middle measurements all went in the right direction. I finally broke 40 at my breast line. Both my above breast and bra line increased. The above breast line increased the most and that is good because that area seems to be filling out. My under breast (bra line) is holding steady with a slight increase. These three measurements support my feeling that my breasts are still projecting outward and filling in at the top.

The difference in size between my above breast area and breast line size decreased from 2.50 inches to 2.00 inches. But, the difference between the area under my breast line (bra band) and my breast line did increase to its largest difference of 5.50" vs 4.75" last month. I had hoped by bra line would decrease to 34".

My waist at my belly button did decreased by another 1" inch. I am staying down under 36".It due to eating nothing but salad and baked chicken Boring! But I have to get my blood sugar level down.

My hip and shoulder measurements remained the same. While my thighs increased. I wonder if walking that dog every morning this week had an impact.

Overall I am happy about my breasts. I still need to figure out how to get back into the gym..

Also, I hope the measurement difference between my shoulders and hips will continue to shrink.

AREA	0 Day	30 DAYS	60 DAYS	90 DAYS	120 DAYS	150 DAYS	180 DAYS
SHOULDER	?	45.0	45.0	43.0	43.0	41.0	41.0
ABOVE BREAST	37.0	37.0	37.5	36.0	36.5	36.5	38.0
BUST LINE	38.0	39.0	39.5	38.50	39.75	39.00	40.00
BRA BAND	36.0	35.0	35.5	34.75	35.0	34.25	34.50
WAIST@BELLY BUTTON	38.0	36.0	37.0	36.5	37.0	36.5	35.5
HIPS	40.0	40.0	40.0	40.0	39.5	39.5	39.5
THIGHS	37.0	37.0	37.0	36.5	36.0	36.0	36.5
HIPS VS SHOULDERS	--	5.0	5.0	3.0	2.0	1.5	1.5
BUST LINE VS ABOVE BREAST	1.0	2.0	2.0	2.5	3.25	2.5	2.0
BUST LINE VS BRA BAND	2.0	4.0	4.0	3.25	4.75	4.75	5.50

My physical goals for Month 6 were:

1. a lower waist measurement (Done)
2. increase Breast line measurement (Down up 1")
3. increased hips measurement (Stayed the same)

My physical goals for Month 7 are:

1. Keep losing weight and get my stomach down.
2. Keep relationship between Bust line-Above Breast and Bust line-Bra Line the at least the same 
3. Keep reducing Hip vs Shoulders relationship

Friday December 9, 2016 - Family

I have three lovely daughters. But often wonder if I had a son and he was a transwoman, how would I feel. Of course, I would accept it. But I wonder if we would "fight" over girl things and have a more mother-daughter relationship. I think it would be cool.

Thursday December 8, 2016 - Worked thru the night

I did not sleep last night as I had an emergency deadline for a client. Girl, when I was younger, under 50, I use to work at my office all night, come home to shower and then teach four classes. I can not do that anymore.

Yesterday, I had to make phone calls the gather some information for my client. Out of seven calls, two of the callers used female pronouns before correcting themselves. I told both of them, it was not problem. The first one, I figured was a mistake, but the second one made me wonder.

I have not really worked on my voice yet. But I do try to talk slower and slightly softer. I talk above  my throat and in a softer tone. I try and add a more sing song-ness to my voice.

I was not trying to speak any different, it maybe working.I am going to try this some more just to see if I get more female pronouns on the phone. This is a good way to practice.

Saturday is my 6th month measuring post. Wow, I can not believe its been six months. I can tell there have been more changes. This is the first time since February 2010, that I did not go to the gym the entire month. I have got to get motivated to get back in there.

Wednesday December 7, 2016 - I know the feeling.

I use to go thru this years ago. Then I said, "forget it" and I threw away my male underpants. Now I only wear female underwear.

Tuesday December 6, 2016 - My sister asked if I was getting fat.

This weekend I made I one day roundtrip to Orlando. Last year, was my Mother's repass in Orlando. At that time, my son-in-law had is teeth cleaned by my sister. My sister told him that he had a cavity and he should let her fix it. He said no and that he would come down later and get it done. Well a year later, his face is swollen and he can not hear out of his right ear due to the infection.

So I, along with my daughter, drive him down Saturday afternoon. We got in around 8 pm and I spend about 4 hours talking with my sister in her living room.

She kept giving me this strange look and finally asked if I was gaining weight. I said probably a little because I am not in the gym as much and I am trying to control my diabetes.

I thought about and realized that I had not seen her since the spring, pre-HRT. As you may know, when I told my sister about my transition, she did not take it well because of her religious convictions. She basically said that it was caused by an evil spirit. Just craziness. My 2nd meeting with my sister about my transition when about the same. Oh well.

I think she can see something in my face and I know my boobs are getting harder to hide. I just do not worry about it anymore. It became obvious to me that she noticed something but can not figure it out yet. But being a doctor, she may have an idea.

This morning, I had to get up at 6 am to walk the neighbor's dog. They are out-of-town and different neighbors have agreed to walk the dog. Once I was home, I decided to take a shower. After I removed my bra, I noticed I had impression marks across my breasts. I was wearing a 36A bra. Yesterday I wore a 36B and there were no marks. I guess, I am going to have to move to a 36B bra full-time.

Monday December 5, 2016 - Making the bathroom issue a liability

NC Governor-Elect Roy Cooper Hits Crucial 10,000 Vote Margin | Human Rights Campaign

Sunday December 4, 2016 - My Crazy Friday

I started Friday morning looking forward to lunch with the your college Transwoman and my Doctor's appointment. But buy 10 am my schedule was shot.

First, I was talking with the young college student thru Facebook messenger.  I sent her a message to set up a campus pickup location. She messaged me back asking to reschedule. Exam week starts Monday and she need to spend time getting a group report completed. I was disappointed but I understand. After teaching there 35-years, I has put many students under pressure during this "reading period".

Next, I got a call from the Doctor's office that the Doctor had to reschedule his appointments. So I rescheduled for December 22, 2016.

Darn!

Well, I got dressed and decided to fill my time by going out to complete some real estate field research. I had a rental car for the weekend because I had to go to Orlando (where I am now). I realized that when I got the rental car, I left my car in a free four parking place 28 hours ago. I forget to get my daughter to help me get the car on Thursday.

I was frantic. I drove over the lot parking space in downtown College Park. Luckily, my car was still there. I parked the rental car and moved my car to the mass transit parking lot that has free 24 hour parking. I then walked four blocks back to the rental car.

I spent the rest of the day out working, I went to eat at Subway, I picked up a prescription refill from Sam's and I grocery shopped at Krogers. I was treated as a woman and with female pronouns all day.

If felt normal and I was not worried about the public.It was not fun and exciting, it is just normal.

I did not realize until I took my pictures, how much I have changed. Below are a couple of additional pictures. The first is a side photo that show a more female shape. I was surprised how my butt kind of sits out when compared to the other pictures.

My face looks rounder and my facial wrinkles do not look at deep. Plus my makeup application is better.

I was so busy that I forget to take pictures while I was out, except for the car.

I added a red scarf to my outfit to add a splash of color. I added red earrings a and red bracelet to play off the scarf. I did not have black tights, so I wore my grey skinny pants.

I love what is happening to me.

Saturday December 3, 2016 - My Timeline

Yesterday did not go as planned. It was a crazy day of mishaps. I was uploading my Friday pictures and I found an old picture from last year. I was amazed at the difference.

I had to show this two-picture timeline. I can not point to any one thing.

Nov. 11, 2015 - 8 months Pre-HRT

Dec 2, 2016 - 6 months on HRT

Friday, December 2, 2016 - 6 month Dr appointment today

Today, I am going for my six month check up. I am excited to talk to my Doctor about my progress. Also, I am having lunch with the young college Transwoman I met this past spring. We are going to meet around noon and spend a couple of hours before my appointment.

I use to say, I am going to spend the day out and dressed. I no longer feel that way. Now its just a different set of clothes that fit my new body. Also, I need to finish some work, so I will be working in and around town before and after my lunch and my appointment.

Next Saturday will be my 6 month measurement post and my discussion about any mental changes.

Today, I wanted to talk about one change which is that I do not have those feminizing days anymore. Those who followed during my femboy days remember how I talked about feminizing activities. These activities included body shaving, lemon peel facials and make up practice. I no longer body shave because my body remains hairless. What little I have is light and thin. My face and overall body is so smooth, I do not need a have a lemon peel facial that often. Makeup practice is something I do when I get dressed and feel like putting on lipstick and mascara. I wear very little foundation because my skin is so smooth and clean.

Electrology eliminated by heavy beard. What remains is light and can be quickly cut, if need by.

I have changed alot in 6 months. I can not wait for the next 6 months.

Thursday December 1, 2016 - More people ID as Trans

A recent report based on data from a CDC population based study, shows that twice as many people ID as transgender (almost 1.4M) than was previously estimated about ten years ago.

Georgia has the 4th highest percentage of people who ID as transgender.

Where is your state? I am not hating, LOL. Just asking.

Wednesday November 30, 2016 - Dressing as a tall woman

Being 5'10", I am trying to create a style based on being a tall woman. I have seen woman taller than me, but I want to learn how to own my height.

Below is a nice infographic about fashion and taller woman.

Tuesday November 29, 2016 - Realization about HRT

About a week ago, I wrote a post about whether my HRT meds might be fake. I said it because after switching pharmacies, I did not feel the same while taking the meds from the new pharmacy. My friends out there talked me "off the ledge" (LOL) and they were right. I also posted a question on Reddit and received similar comments.

Two days after that post, all of my feeling came back. I was in a better place mentally and my breasts were bouncy and in the way. Every time I moved, I felt them. Even standing up.

Today, my body is quiet again. I must have entered a new more mature phase.

During the first 5 months, my body changed quickly and stayed energized. I felt my skin become smooth and my figure change.

Now I have entered a more long-term growth phase, in which that body energy is intermittent. I can tell, I am still changing but its slower. I am going to miss that everyday excitement. But I am OK with the long-term and slow changes.

Friday, I have my six month checkup with my Doctor. I am looking forward to talking to him about my changes.

I am also trying to schedule a lunch with the young college age Transwoman, I met at the mall this spring. We have been messaging each other on Facebook and I suggested we have a girls time out. I directed her to my Doctor and she just started HRT about 2 months ago. So we want to get together and compare notes.

It can be like a big sister, well maybe mother/daughter or grandmather/daughter (Darn!) meal. But if we can get our schedules together, it will be fun.

Monday November 28, 2016 - Some somber facts.

Once I am finished with my journey, I am going to help others seeking theirs. Here is a somber infographic about our community.

Sunday November 27, 2016 - Bra cleaning

I remember growing up and wishing I had breasts and needed a bra. Well 50 years later, here I am. But now I need to learn how to care for my bras.

I have been trying to figure out the best way to clean my bras and how long to wear bras before cleaning them. I have been putting them in the washing machine. But after coming out of the dryer, they are all wrapped up with other clothes. Also, as I move to a larger cup bra and nicer bras, I am not sure the washer and dryer are best.

I found a video on hand washing your bra and another video on using the washing machine. I did learn to stop putting my bras in the dryer.

HAND WASH

MACHINE WASH

Saturday November 26, 2016 - Transgender people on Netflix.

I have a Netflix account but did not use it much. But I found a list of seven Netflix shows and movies with awesome transgender characters. I am going to watch them all.

BTW, I got into Black Mirror on Netflix and love the show. Its an updated Twilight Zone. My youngest daughter told me about it. If you are into SF stuff, check it out.

1. Orange Is The New Black
2. The Forsters
3. Tangerine
4. Sense8
5. American Horror Story: Freak Show
6. Body Meets Girl
7. Eating Out: Drama Camp and Eating Out

Friday November 25, 2016 - Getting back to normal?

Thursday I felt better than I had in weeks. I wrote a post about my HRT meds and whether something is wrong with my current set of pills. I have not been mentally or physically feeling the same as the past 4 months. Maybe I had a bad batch of pills.

Well my friends who read this blog gave me their thoughts that made me pause. I also posted a question on Reddit and received some good comments.

Well yesterday, I felt great all day. I felt the changes. My breasts were alive again and I felt calm and attractive.

I thought about this and I realize that this major I project I had been working on, was very stressful and I was not getting enough sleep. I finished and delivered the project Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night, I finally got 7+ hours of sleep instead of 3/4 hours.

Thursday was the first day in three weeks, I felt great and without that project in front of me. For example, I felt my breasts moving and "in the way",unlike the last three week.

I can not say much about the project except to say, I have seen what will cause the "death"of utility companies. Like other industries, the coming technological singularity is going to disrupt and collapse the energy industry, within the next decade. Look at all of the industries the smartphone has disrupted and collapsed in the past decade.

Anyway, I fell much better and ate too much. I have to work Friday, but I am going to take off this weekend and get some more rest.

Thursday November 24, 2016 - Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday November 23, 2016 - A Transwoman Beauty Routine

Tuesday November 22, 2016 - Viceland new Transgender episode

Along with HBO, it appears that Viceland also has programming introducing the country to our community. Hopefully it will continue be in a healthy way.

A show called Balls Deep, has a couple of episodes about life in the trans community.

Below is a clip from an episode called: A SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR THE TRANS COMMUNITY.

Monday November 21, 2016 - I like this outfit

I need to got out and buy something pretty. It's getting cold and I need to treat myself. I saw this collection and I really like it.

I love the color, the dress hemline and the shoes.

I also like the headline: Renaissance Man.

Bussines Women by vanjazivadinovic featuring thick heel sandals

Sunday November 20, 2016 - Is something wrong with my HRT meds?

Are my HRT meds fake? Three weeks ago, I switched to a new pharmacy (Walmart to Sams). Today, I wonder if I have some old or fake medicine or is this the a natural progression (month 6). Yesterday, I noticed that I do not feel the same. Its hard to describe, but my mind is still calm but I do not feel like Susan, its not quite my boy self but.....

I noticed this morning, I woke upon my stomach which is the way I use to sleep. But I have not been able to because it hurts my breasts. My breasts still have feelings but the feelings are not as strong and I am not aware of them like I use to. They do not seem to be getting in the way nor as predominate as they were.

My current estradoil pills are shaped different than the last 5 months of pills. I checked Google images and it seems to be a different manufacture.

 The new pills are round.

These are the old pills.








Monday morning I am going to speak to the nurse in my Dr's office. I am due for my 3 month checkup, after Thanksgiving but I need to check this out this week.

Usually, if you feel something is not right, go with your gut.

---

Controlling my blood sugar level is slowly working. I started 3 weeks ago, after I received a call from the Dr in my Glaucoma study. My blood test showed a glucose level of  over 400. Part of that was due to a donut in the morning. But he had received my blood test from my HRT doctor and in that test my level was over 400.

So I started my food menu from scratch. I bought a glucose meter, so I could test my blood sugar before and 2 hrs after I eat.  I started with just salads. Then I added baked chicken. I started making and drinking oregano tea in the morning and at night. I make the tea with real oregano leaves and hot water.

Other than the tea, I drink only water and I have slowly added certain meats and other foods back into my menu. I now make some really good meatless spaghetti sauce and chili. I have added baked fish. I have just added some soups. At night I eat a small block of cheese (recommended by my sister). It seems to be working. My level is now under 200 in the morning and under 250 during the day. But I need to drop another 50%, if possible. I need to be under 140 to be considered normal.

I was visiting my brother last week. He is overweight (just over 300 lbs),  eats anything and does not exercise. He wanted to use my Glucose meter. So I showed him how and his level was 130.  This is in the normal range. WOW.

I think exercising out again, could get me into  the normal range or close. But with Thanksgiving coming and later Christmas, I am going to miss those cakes and pies.

Saturday November 19, 2016 - The Trans List - New HBO Doc

HBO is become a supporting platform for the transgender community. A new HBO documentary to air Monday Dec 5, 2016 is called the Trans List. Below is a trailer and a link to the HBO site.

The Trans List l HBO Documentary Films l HBO

Friday November 18, 2016 - Could not have said it better.

This is a re-post from February 22, 2015. I was feeling this way today. Two weeks ago I was on the beach in Hilton Head. This post says it all for me today.

When its cold outside, I usually think about spring and the beach. Today I am going to share my pin board of spring dresses. I love spring because it means winter and the cold are behind us and summer is around the corner. Even though I do not wear dresses in public....yet, I love them.

Here is my latest dress board. What do you think? I am sure you can tell what type of dresses I like.

Follow Susan's board Dresses I Like on Pinterest.

Thursday November 17, 2016 - An act of Love. I like this alot!

I like this action as a way to "fight back". Sending good karma toward those with hate in their heart, is a great idea. I am going to start that practice. Not just with those who hate, but also with those who are in need.


Diner Buys Anti-Gay Family's Dinner As Surprise Act Of Love

Wednesday November 16, 2016 - Emotional short video - A warning to all of us.

I do not want this space to be too negative. But I found this recent video from one of the ladies I follow. I follow a variety of transpeople on Youtube, just to get a different prospective.

Cherry is young and lives in Atlanta. Her language is kind of rough, but she is being honest. I thought I would share just about 2.5 minutes of her latest video.

Again, I guess I am getting old, so I apology about the language, but I though her feelings and message were on target.

Its an honest warning from someone who cares.

Wednesday November 16, 2016 - Babysitting duties this morning. My new post will be up later in the day.

My middle daughter started a new job while she and her fiancee re-access their relationship. So to help, I am taking my turn to babysit for they day. I am working from home, so its ok.

But I had a post to finish and put up. Iit will have to wait until later today. Maybe around nap time.

He has the same hairline as my daughter. I think its that Bell family (my mother) gene from my mother that will lead to male pattern baldness. All the Bell men I knew, were bald.

Tuesday November 15, 2016 - Just be aware out there.

Monday November 14, 2016 - Great Future

Last week was tough. Every once in awhile I need to vent. This is one of those posts. But I have a plan and my future looks good.

What made last week so tough:

1. Anniversary of my Mother's Death - Nov. 8th
2. 2016 Presidential Elections - Nov. 8th
3. Had to turn down trip to Opera - Nov. 12th
4. Let down from trip to Savannah - Nov 6th
5. Issues with my two youngest daughters - all week

I was so excited about the elections, that I did not realize that November 8, 2015, was the day my Mother died and the day I met my new friend Karen. All last week I was down, I would not say depressed but just feeling a little low.

At first I thought it was because of the election results. That was tough but I have developed a plan to survive the results both financially and emotionally. It looks like I will be transitioning during a four year period that may give cover for some bad people to do some bad things. I travel in some very remote areas, so I am really going to have to watch myself. It reminds me of the 1960's and 1970's when I grew up. I will just resurrect some of that security I use to have.

This is not a political site, so I will just say, my candidate lost, even though she will end up with the most votes.

Last Saturday, I was invited to the Opera by Karen. That would have been fun, but I a previous engagement with my daughters. They come first. What made this a bummer was that the previous Saturday, I took Karen on a day trip to Savannah and Hilton Head. We had so much fun. We will always be just friends, but she has shown me the possibilities of my future and helped me through the loss of my Mother and my early HRT.

After so much fun in Savannah/Hilton Head, having to turn down the Opera was tough.

Then my two youngest daughters have issues. My middle daughter was engaged to a guy I do not like. He is OK, but there is something about him. After teaching at an all male college for 35 years, I have a good sense of young male character. Well, she has a 7 month old son, my third grandchild and now she knows, he is not the one. So I have been talking to her about her options and to help her get her mind moving forward in a positive direction.

Meanwhile, my youngest daughter is thinking about her future. She is really good at it, but she says the low pay, stress and increased workload is too much. I told her that the problem is that she is in an industry (local TV news) that is dying. Only older people still watch local news. The demographics are trending older and advertisers what younger people. She has the experience of reporting, anchoring and producing. So she needs to take that skill and move to the future, which is the internet. She needs to get ready for the coming Technological Singularity.

Here are a couple of interesting facebook videos she has done recently. Also she was the first anchor, at her station to broadcast live on Facebook.









Next is one of her Facebook live streams while she is anchoring the new live. A very interesting concept.




Finally, over the weekend, I saw the Dr. Strange movie. I did not like his comic books when I was young. But I loved the movie. I believe in a lot of that stuff about what exists beyond our sense: time, timelines and alternate realities.

It made me reevaluate and come up with solutions. Today is my future's past. I can create my own future reality based on decisions I make today. So I have developed a plan and will implement it today.

The future looks good.

Sunday November 13, 2016 - Removing Makeup

One of my issues is removing makeup at the end of the day. I usually do it during my evening shower. I use a non-soap facial wash and some makeup remover towelettes. It take a few washes and towelettes to remove all my makeup. Especially eye makeup.

I found a nice video and shows me an alternative way of removing makeup and I am going to try it.

I just wonder if those white towels can get clean enough to reuse.

Saturday November 12, 2016 - China's Oprah is a Transwoman

Jin Xing, a former male ballet star and army colonel, draws 100 million viewers a week and was the first person, publicly, to undergo gender reassignment surgery in her country.

Jin Xing, China's most popular TV hostess, has been many things in her life: dance prodigy, prima ballerina, decorated colonel in the People's Liberation Army, choreographer, actress, wife and mother of three. She also has been a man.

...

Meet the Oprah of China, Who Happens to Be Transgender