Saturday, May 21, 2016

Saturday May 21, 2016 - My breasts

Thursday night, I had two wonderful dreams. It took me an an extra day to digest them, so I am writing about these two dreams today.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with my breasts. I have gynecomastia. When I was a pre-teen and sneaking around wearing my mothers clothes, I had to kneel next to the bed a say my prayers before I went to sleep. I use to secretly pray to wake up as a girl and become a women with breasts like my Mom.

To my horror, as a young teen, my breasts started to grow. I got nervous that God was answering my prays, so I stopped. I often wonder, that if I were a teen today, would I have to guts to tell my parents that I wanted to be girl and use all of the examples out there to show the possibility. I think my Mom would have said yes, as see supported me in my older years (1990's on. ). My dad would still have had a son, my brother, but I do not know what his support would be. He probably would have been neutral., like he was in real life.

Back to my dreams.

All I remember was from the first dream was that I was with other women, my friends and I was so happy being with them laughing and joking. I remember my breasts, not in a lewd or sexual way, but that they were there, beautiful and part of me. I was aware of them as I moved. I felt complete, satisfied, beautiful, happy and me. As I write this, I want to cry because I want to go back to that place. I believe dreams are messages about a possible future outcome. I need to make the right decisions and have some luck. If so, I will get back to that place. And I will cry with tears of joy.

My second dream was of Susan and my friend at a Doctor's office. My friend was complimenting me about my breasts and I opened my shirt for the female Doctor to see. She smiled and said they were beautiful and developing very well. I buttoned my shirt backup feeling happy and satisfied.

Last night, my friend Karen and I went to see the Capital America movie and I told her about my dreams. She agreed that it was my inner self agreeing with my decision to start HRT in 3 weeks. Time is moving so fast so, I remember when HRT was 200 days away.

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