Sunday, August 9, 2015

Sunday August 9, 2015 - What a weekend!

This was crazy weekend as I picked up 5th client and a roller coaster weekend. But it still comes back to transgenderism.

Please be patient, I have to give you some quick background first.

I picked up a new client in New Jersey. I had some friends visiting this past week from Baltimore. So when they left Friday to drive back to Baltimore, my associate and I joined them and we decided to drive straight thru the night.

  1. We were suppose to leave at 1 pm Friday afternoon but did not leave until 3:30 pm because his daughter was late bring his grandchildren to say goodbye. In Atlanta on Friday, leaving that late means heavy traffic. We did not outside of Atlanta until 6:30 pm. That's right, three hours in traffic.
  2. At 11:30 pm, I took over driving, drank a large cup of coffee and I drove all the way to Baltimore. We got in at 6:45 am and I needed to leave for New Jersey at 9:00 am. So I dd not sleep. I took a shower and completed my daily feminine routine. I complete my routine every day, so that I can learn how to pace myself and give myself enough time. I am now know why ladies take too long in the bathroom. And I love it.
  3. I finished getting dressed by 7:30 and completed by Saturday Blog Post. We ate a quick breakfast and headed out on the road a 9:30 am. I thought it would take two hours, but my client was at his beach house in Atlantic City and it took 4:00 hours because of all that beach traffic.
  4. We meet from 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm and we had to leave to catch or bus back. I had to do all the driving because the car was a stick shift and my associate can not drive a stick.
  5. We got back to Baltimore at 6:30 and needed to catch a 7:10 pm bus from Baltimore Penn Station to Washington DC Union Station. We could not catch that 7:10 pm bus so there was a second bus at 8:20 that would get us to Unon Station at 9:20 which is close but we can make that 9:30 pm Megabus.
  6. We left at 7:30 pm to catch that bus and ran into Baltimore Orioles' baseball game traffic. At 8:15, we got within two blocks of the bus station and ran the last two blocks. Well the bus had not arrived because it was caught in the same traffic. The bus did not leave until 8:40 pm and we did not arrive in Union Station until 9:45 pm.
  7. Well the 9:30 pm Megabus was an hour late. So we did make the bus but I had not slept since Friday at 11:30 pm. I am getting too old for this
  8. We got on the bus and it left at 11:00 pm. However, one reason it was late was due to electrical problems. So there was not electricity to charge my devices. But I slept hard.
My client had a very nice house on the Atlantic City inter-coastal water way. We sat out on the deck watching kids canoe along the waterway. We met with two gentlemen and one of their wives came out and asked us if we wanted something to drink. I told her I liked the color and style of her hair. I had noticed she had just her hair done. We responded by saying it was humid outside and she way trying to keep it up. I told her that whatever she was doing, it was definitely working. I repeated that I liked the color and style.
She smiled and left as both my associate and I did not want anything to drink. My transgender gift was at work again. I now notice those things about women and complimenting the wife will definitely help me during this project. Plus it made her day. I could tell by her smile. Also, I remember when the sales lady at the car rental company complimented me on my jeans and shoes. She later explained to be that women usually pick out something they really like in another women's outfit and compliment that item I am trying to learn.

While we were driving to Baltimore on Friday night, Caitlny Jenner came up.  One of my friends is a doctor and he did not support what "Bruce" was doing. He was using male pronouns and said he can never be a she. He even used the Santorum example of choosing to be a woman to get access to the girls bathroom while in high school. You can tell which news channel he watches.

I wanted to come out right then, but decided to wait. We talked for hours about this. The lady in the car supported my side which supports Caitlny, while my associaite supported my male friends side.

There were four issues tied together.

  1. First he did not believe gender and sex were actually separate. I know he is a big time shopper of men's clothes and likes to shop for women's clothes for his daughter and wife. While he was raising his daughter, they would shop for her clothes and he would help with styles. But as he said in the car, he never felt like wearing them. So I asked him, just because someone makes a choice to wear the women clothes, does it make them bad. He and a transvestite (his word) both like to shop for women's clothes. The only difference is deciding to wear them. He agreed with me.
  2. Second, he is a medical doctor and from a biological stand point, "Bruce" can not become a girl. The chromosomes can not change. I said, in Caitlyn's case that might be true, but there are people with chromosomes outside the norm. He agreed, but he said there are not many cases. I said that God does not make mistakes and maybe he gave people chromosome issues so you could study the differences. That study will lead to a better understanding of sex chromosome. While I agreed that from a biology standpoint, you can not change your chromosomes, he will never be a biological girl at the DNA level. But that is not what Caitlyn is changing.
  3. Third, there is a difference between gender and sexual orientation. Gender is above the shoulder. This is where, my coming out would have helped. I wanted to come out really bad but did not. He believes that gender changes represent a mental illness. I have know him for over 25 years. If  I came out, it would disprove his theory. He knows I am crazy (lol) but not mentally ill. His opinion are more inline with my sister. But in this area, we agreed to disagree. I can not wait until I come out to him and we revisit this issue.
  4. I did get him to understand and he even started using the words "gender fluidity". That gender is not binary. He thinks gender fluidity is 100% optional and people decide. I told him people are gender fluid and decide to express it. If someone does not express it, does not mean it does not exist within them. He agreed that might be possible.
Over the next few hours, I did get him to see the issues slightly differently. Or at least he was tired of talking about it.

This is an example of, once someone knows a transgendered person, their opinions change.Once I come out to him, we can talk on a different level based on our mutual history and I can give him personal examples that he can understand.

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