Friday, June 17, 2016

Friday June 17, 2016 - In New Jersey and feeling melancholy.

I am in New Jersey to attend a funeral of my father's best friend who I grew up calling an Uncle. Two of my friends, we all grew up together, joined me on the drive up. We will attend the funeral Saturday morning and then drive back to Atlanta for Father's Day. Both my brother and sister are flying in tonight.

I had a hard time drinking enough water during the trip. I was able to stay on my med routine and enjoyed the ride up. I am thinking about coming out to my friends on the way back. I do not think there will be a negative reaction.

But I am not going to force it. I am going to tell them when the time is right. That right time will be when I spontaneously bring it up. I think there will come a time when it will feel right and I will just say it.

Meanwhile I am eating at a local diner that I grew up near. There is a McDonald's nexyt door and I remember when it opened in the early 1970's. My high school is about 1 mile east of here, on the same road. We use to skip morning classes to come to this diner to eat breakfast.

Now, 40+ years later, I am back becoming the woman I always knew I was. Luckily, the emotional changes, from my meds have not fully kicked it or I would be a crying mess. However, I feel the emotions as I type this and my eyes are misty. But the crying breakdowns I have read about, have not started.

The two generations that are now gone (Grandparents and Parents and their cohorts) are going to miss my transition. I wonder what they would have thought?

Instead of me going thru aversion therapy, it would have been nice to have been able to transition in middle school or high school. But that was unlikely in the early 1970's.

I lived here from about 5 years old until going to college in Atlanta at 18. This is where my "crossdressing" began and developed. Now I am finally addressing it in a much more enlightened era.

If I could just sit here and turn back time to this location in 1973 or 1974, to a day  I drove here for breakfast, I could tell my young self that its going to be ok. My life is pretty cool and Susan is headed out.

I could turn back time like Lucy did in the video below.

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