Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Tuesday April 21, 2015 - Finally got a hater

I have been writing this blog for one year. I was inspired my many blogger whom I have been reading over the years. Of course, like most people Femulate by Stana is one of the best. But there are others I admire, which are listed down the right hand column.

Often, I have stated that since I have been feminizing my clothes, the public has been receptive or indifferent.  This is a marked difference from  the 1990's and early 2000's which was the last time I was out.

I have not run into one negative person, while out. I have met and talked with many, while in public who are supportive or at least made positive comments. This has made me more confident and comfortable. I feel great and at ease now, when I am out in public.

In this blog, I have 39 comments and late last night I finally received my first hateful comment. I deleted it.

But then I decided I am going to show it and talk about it. I want to do this to let others know, there are still haters out there but they are such a small number.

This comment was sent early this morning, after this person read my post from last Thursday. I had my face on that post.

Now I will admit, I am not the prettiest girl at the party. But I am trying.

More importantly, given that since January 2015, there have been 74,000 total page views, (growing each week) and based on Google Analytics about 50,000 people have visited. Of those 50,000 people, about 20,000 are returnees.

So there has been about 30,000 new people who have visited this site since January 1, 2015. Of that number, about 1 person per thousand left a positive comment. So this one negative comment could represent about 1,000 visitors who felt the same way.

Overall, I think it is a positive situation that only 1 out of  30 people may not like me or this site. Over my life, I have had a much higher number than that not like me. Whether  at work or in business, high school or college, little league or YMCA. My haters were a higher percentage than 3.3%.

This comment, in particular shows the lack of mental depth from Anonymous. Anonymous must be so proud of the intellectual statement, that he left his name. It sounds like elementary school taunting from K-12 grade. Remember those days of:: You are ugly. No, you are ugly. No, you are ugly.

I have always tried to ignore the haters because what they want is a response. Growing up as the only African-American young boy in the neighborhood, I learned early to ignore taunts and just find friends. I had many friends and some of them would stick up for me.

My response to bullying is to tell them to go for it. One of the great things about this county is that everyone is  entitled to their opinion. And others might think this person is correct.

But a better comment would have been to support why I am ugly. Which they obviously could not do. :-}

I wrote this post to let others know that there are always going to be haters, but do not let them ruin your life. When you are out in public or on-line, be who you are and carry yourself with dignity and grace. Do not get down to their level because they probably have other issues.

How many times do we read about the homophobic bully who later comes out. Or the abuser who was abused themselves.

There is no way we are going to be 100% loved. But I will take 96.7% any day.


  1. Ignore the haters, they are likely the people that aren't happy or feel comfortable expressing who they really are. Likely too much bottle up tension makes them act that way and say rude things.

    Be true to yourself and you will be happy and kind.

  2. One bad comment out of thousands of views would at best qualify as being statistically insignifncant.
    I like the mature fashion that you addressed the issue.