Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Tuesday March 8, 2016 - I have been thinking

I have been thinking about my transition into womanhood.  I am finishing Phase 2 of my plan which is electrology. My Phase 1 was losing weight. I will be starting Phase 3, HRT in June 2016.

Phase 3 is a major step in which there is no turning back. Under both Phase 1 and Phase 2, I could stop and the weight and facial hair loss would not impact my boy mode. But starting HRT  will impact my boy mode as I will change, both physically and mentally.

So it's important for me to tell people I am going to change before I start. I have told my children, siblings and cousins. I have no problems telling strangers since I am out in public. Over the past 15+ months I have been out as a Femboy and Susan,  I am now very comfortable out in public.

My only issue are my friends and associates I have known over the years. When and how do I tell them? I do not think I will be rejected or that there will be a negative reaction. Its just that the relationship may change.

It's that change and getting use to that change that scares me. Stories that we tell about old girlfriends and activities may seem inappropriate. I am going to have to assure them that its OK to tell those stories.

But telling those stories to new people maybe a problem. I told a story at my friend's surprise 60th birthday party that would not be appropriate while presenting as Susan to a room full of new people. The story was about an event when we were 13 years old taking a scuba diving class together. That story dovetailed perfectly with a story told by his air force buddy.

I guess I will have to use different stories that would be appropriate for a woman to tell. This change scares me. But maybe I do not need to change. I can just be a woman with x-rated male jokes and activities.

A main reason I am blogging, is to allow me to talk these issues out. So I may not articulate these issues well, but I am trying to put them out and hope to figure it out as I go.

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