Sunday July 31, 2016 - HRT end of Week 7

Its now been 7 weeks. My main problem is drinking enough water. I am starting to get constipated. I read a few reddit posts that stated constipation was a result of HRT that included spiro and not drinking enough water.

So I must remember to drink enough water. That is still difficult for me. I was doing great in the beginning but I am falling back into my old habits of not drinking enough water and wanting diet soda. I keep 30 oz cups in my car from Quicktrip and Racetrac gas stations. That way I can use the cup in the appropriate store and get free ice water. But I still need to drink the water and not let it sit in my car.

I have stopped exercising but I still watch my calorie intake. I am taking in more calories which includes some sugar. I need to watch this because it was my exercising and calorie control that kept my diabetes in check. However, I want to see if the extra fat goes in the female areas. I can always go back to my old routine to lose weight. But it will be harder as my metabolism slows and my mental toughness weakens.

Mentally
I have not noticed any more changes from last week

Physically
Slightly more fat on hips, butt and thighs
Areola is swelling and protruding out
Nipples are projecting out


Overall, I am moving in the right direction. But its hard to know if its really showing or just wishful thinking. Sometime when I walk or move a certain way, I rub against something new on my body. It is like something is there that was not there before.

For example, typing this post, I use my right hand and my right breast is there as I crossover to type. It happens with every key. It use to not be that way.

Another example is that this past Wednesday or Thursday, I was getting dressed and noticed my butt jigged as I put on my pants. I looked in the mirror and did not see and changes but felt that my butt area had more fat and less muscle.

Next week will be the end of month 2. Most charts say that the changes really start of occur toward the end of month 3.

These next 4 weeks are going to be important.

Saturday July 30, 2016 - Today I am reposting my 2015 post about my time in aversion therapy

Repost from April 13, 2015

My parents sent me to a few different therapists in an attempt to cure my "crossdressing".

First, I was put in a teen group. Those teens had drug, depression and family issues. When I discussed my "crossdressing", they looked at me like I was crazy for being there. My issue seemed so trivial compared to their issues.

So, at 15 years old, 10th grade, I went to a physiologist who practiced aversion therapy.

It was not as bad a the picture above. I would go into the office and he would hypnotize me. I do not know if the hypnotism worked, sometime I fell asleep and sometimes I faked it. Then he would talk to me about how bad female clothes were and that if I touched them, I would get sick. I remember saying to myself, how could nylon stockings make me sick, they look and feel so nice.

I do not know how many times I went. But I decided purge and go deeper in the closet. It only lasted from 1972 until 1979.

I am glad I was not sent away to an out-of-town program or a program with a more aggressive therapy routine..

I know my parents were trying to do what they thought was best, given its the 1970's. Then many people thought it was a "phase" some boys went through. I suspect that "phase" period was a true indication of oneself. Then many of us had the learn how to hide it, so we could conform.  Those that could not hide it were subjected to a very tough life. Like my cousin, who came out in 1968, while in high school. He had a very difficult 17-years until his death of AIDS.

So I guess, my parents thought I was "cured". Well, first of all, I am NOT sick. I am in touch with a very amazing and special gift that has made be a better person. I am going to use this gift to help others and become a better person.

This is why  I am  so glad President Obama has called for an end to this type of therapy.

Friday July 29, 2016 - Facebook Live is very powerful. It helped this Transwoman

A Transwoman turned on Facebook Live when her community service supervisor began a sexually suggestive discussion.

Now the Honolulu boss is facing criminal charges—and is under investigation for claims, captured on video, that he allowed other community-service underlings to go home early in exchange for sexual favors.

Makana Milho, 21, told The Daily Beast she feared for her safety when she began recording her interaction with the creepy city groundskeeper.

According to the mayor’s office, Villanueva Jr. was placed on administrative leave without pay pending an investigation by the parks department. The community service program is also being probed, the office said in a statement.

Milho said if she hadn't recorded her interactions with Villanueva Jr., no one would have taken her seriously. She risked Villanueva Jr. calling her probation officer and being sent to prison.

Facebook live is a powerful communication tool that will change the way we communicate and document human interaction.

Thursday July 28, 2016 - Not too bad.

I had my now monthly electrology session, yesterday. It went well and did not hurt anymore than usual. I was worried that the hormones would make my face too sensitive. My tech asked me to move my session to every three weeks instead of monthly.

I am not sure why, because she was able to clear my face in just over 1 hour.

I did make a mistake by shaving too early in the month. Therefore my facial hair was too long. My facial hair is thinning but in August, I will shave my face just 1 week before my session instead of two weeks. I only need to shave once between between sessions.

I no longer have a beard shadow. I just shave just to keep the few facial hairs short. That way it is much easier for my Tech..

Below is a short video of  electrology in practice. You can see the needle going in and electrifying the root. Then the tech uses tweezers to remove the hair. It's that shot of electricity that hurts.

E3000, in Dallas numbs your face with shots of lidocaine. With lidocaine, you feel nothing. This allowed them to have one tech on each side of your face working up to 6/7 hours each to clear a heavy beard. I has zero pain expect for the few shots of lidocaine. It took me 18 months with sessions every 6 weeks (12 sessions). It was actually 10, because I missed two sessions due to work related issues. Once they were able to clear my face in four hours as apposed to 14 hours in the beginning, I moved to a local shop near my house.

I did enjoy those trips to Dallas. I took the Megabus and stayed at a local motel that was near the shop.

At my local Atlanta shop, Southside Electrolysis, she uses a numbing cream, which reduces but does not eliminate the pain. The worst area is the upper lip and under the nose. The nose area always makes me shed tears. Its been 19 months, starting weekly (first 6 months), then every 2 weeks for 12 months and now monthly. We are going back to every 3 weeks, starting in August.

You can see from the video, its a time consuming process.

Wednesday July 27, 2016 - Monthly Electrology session

Today is my monthly one hour electrology session. This is the first session after a prolong period of HRT. Last month, I had just started and I felt a little more sensitivity. I am worried this time that the application may hurt more. My face is changing and its is smoother.

I wanted this to be over by now. I spent 2 years going to E3000 in Dallas and now 18 months locally in Atlanta.

Now, I am clearing my face within 1 hour, once a month. Eighteen moths ago, it took 1 hour to clear my face weekly. So its slow going but moving in the right direction.

Wish me luck. I think I am going to need it.

Tuesday July 26, 2016 - Another interesting old 1990's talk show about crossdressers

This is another interesting old 1990's talk show that discusses crossdressing. It's interesting to see the questions, audience reaction and the "crossdresser's" reaction to life on the streets as a woman.

After 20 years, and living thru most of this period, it reminds me how times are different. Society is moving in the right direction. But there are still a few stragglers.

Monday July 25, 2016 - Dress Shopping

Earlier this month, I went dress shopping at Kohls. I usually go to Goodwill because of the variety, price and my wardrobe is in flux because of my body changes. I do not want to spend a lot of money of clothes this early into HRT.

I like to shop at Kohls for panties and now  bras. They have a good variety and the discount rack has reasonable prices.

However, I did not like the selection of dresses. Next time I am going to try Ross or Burlington Coat Factory.

I walked around the store looking in the discount section and the regular woman's section. I could only find three dresses I liked. I found a 10/12 size in all three dresses.

However, only one dress fit well. The other two, which are hanging behind me, did not fit well. I could not find, the other two, in a larger size.

One reason they may not have fit is due to the HRT and my changing body. I am gaining weight in some areas and losing weight in others. Or the sizes  run differently with Kohls' dresses.

This dress was a button up dress which was like a long shirt. The hemline reminded me of  a shirt with it longer lenght in the front and back. The hemline was a nice length and I like that shirt style because the hem rose a little on the sides which gave it a more casual look.

The color and print were nice and I liked that it was sleeveless. I decided not to buy it because it just did not feel right at the shoulders. It was a little tight. Hopefully as I lose muscle, I will have more room in the shoulder area.

This could shrinking shoulder area could be offset by my growing chest area. This is why I have to be careful spending a lot of money on my wardrobe until I get closer to going full-time.

Sunday July 24, 2016 - HRT after 6 weeks

When I started, I figured I would make a monthly post discussing the physical and mental changes from HRT. Well in the beginning the effects were rapid and almost daily, so I began to tweet daily about it (See right). However, daily became too often, now that the effects have slowed.

I decided weekly might be the best, followed by a monthly post with measurements. I will still tweet when something new or rapid changes happen.

Mentally

1. I feel much calmer. 
2. I like and need more hugs.
3. No crying bouts yet

Phyiscally

1. My skin is smoother. 
2. I shaved on Saturday, the first time in 6 weeks and there was not much body hair. 
3. My figure is changing as I lose upper body muscle
4. Saturday for the first time, I felt my chest move as I walked. I am so happy about that
5. I trimmed my finger nails which have not broken or cracked since I started

Overall, things are moving slowly but surely. I still believe that after 13 weeks, (or 3 months), I will see a lot more changes.

Saturday July 23, 2016 - Choosing a nail salon.

I picked my current nail salon by going to the nail salon I randomly picked way back in 1994. Yes, 22 years ago, I spent my first week as a full-time woman. On my way, I randomly stopped at a nail salon to have my first set of acrylic nails. It was a very pleasant experience. So, I decided go become a regular 20+ years later.

The current owner and employees have always been so nice to me. I always present as a femboy or now as Susan. They have never seen me in boy mode. I have had some great conversations with the owner about clothes and fashion along with general chit chat.

Some of you girls may not have been to a salon recently. If not, please go and try at least a pedicure. They are amazing. And if you are still in the closet, you can hide your feet with socks. Also, men now go to the salon to get pedicures.

If you are looking for a salon, I found this video and thought the advise was very helpful.

Friday July 22, 2016 - Spreading Good Karma

I have been having some bad luck in my business lately, so I decided to spread some good Karma out there and it seems to be working.

I believe the universe consists of energy (Karma), both good and bad. I am always trying to push out good karma in hopes of getting good karma in return.

I have mention in a previous post that I have a pass from a large movie chain that allows me to receive up to three movie ticket at any of their theaters at any time. A former student is a manager and gives me one every year as a thank you gift.

On Saturday, my middle daughter's fiancee wanted to go see Ghostbusters. So my daughter drove us to the movie. He only wanted 1 ticket. So  I thought, why not get three tickets and give two of them away as an act of kindness.

I received three tickets for the 3D showing and gave one to my daughter's fiancee. I then set out the find someone to give two tickets.

It was early in the day as the movie started at 10:45 am. I was looking for a mom with one or two teenagers. I figured they were headed to see Ghostbusters. If the children were too young, they were probably headed to one of the cartoon movies.

I saw a young 20-something couple headed to the outside ticket counter. So I asked them if they were going to see Ghostbusters and if so I have two tickets. Be for I could finish, the guy brushed me off and asked "How much I wanted for them?". I said they were free and he asked why did I ask them. I told them that they were a handsome looking couple. The woman smiled but the guy walked off.

If felt bad  Karma coming from him.

Then I saw a mother with two teenage boys. As they got in line behind the couple, I asked her if she was going to see Ghostbusters. She said yes and I handed her the two tickets and said I was not going to be needing them and for her to enjoy the movie.

I saw the two boys smile as I walked away. Its my Supergirl moment. Its like Supergirl coming in to save someone and then flying off with waiting for the accolades. But I got the feeling the tickets will help her.

Doing good deeds makes me feel better and gives me a brighter outlook. It makes me look at the world in a more positive light which makes me more accepting of positive energy that maybe coming my way.

Thursday July 21, 2016 - HRT changes

Now that I am in my second month, taking my daily meds is just a normal part of the day. But it's exciting when I wake up and see a slight change.

This morning I noticed a slight change. My body circumference between my belly button and my arm pits is shrinking. I noticed that the area between my belly button up to my breasts was slightly narrower. I could see more of a gap between my arms and my upper waist area. Woman have a higher waist and its that area that looks smaller. I measured the area and it does appear to have reduced about a 1/2 inch.

Also, I think the circumference around my breasts is shrinking but is being off set by a grow in my breasts. So my breast area circumference is the same but my breasts now cover more of that area

If I look from my arm pits down to my stomach, that line is straight on both sides and makes me look smaller. The only problem is that tire around my stomach. Once I get rid of that, I will be straight down to my hips which are accumulating fat.

My feminine shape is coming along. I just need to help it out.

Wednesday July 20, 2016 - 60 and counting

Today is my 60th birthday. Time  flies when you are having fun. I remember my grandparents when they were in their early sixties. I though they were so old.

Here is a picture of me at about 4 years old (1960?) )with both my maternal grandmother (right) and paternal grandmother (left). This picture shows my material grandmother at about 50 years old and my paternal grandmother at 60 years old.

Now I am at their age and I am the grandmother.

I wonder what my young self (15 years old) would have thought about it taking 45 years to get to this transition point in my life. At 15, 45 years is along way out. At 60, 45 years ago was yesterday.

I feel good and look forward to another 20 or 25 years.


What I find interesting that so many things happened during the year of my new decade.

1. When I turned 20 (1976), it was the country's 200 year birthday (July 4th).
2. At 40 (1996) was the opening full day of the Atlanta Olympics. I had a contract to manage two car parking lots around Atlanta. My wife and I worked July 20, 1996 from 5 am until 1 am the next morning and it was so hot that day (high of 99 degrees). There was zero shade on that parking lot.
3. At 50 (2006) I had just finished and won on an episode of Deal or No Deal
4. At 60 (2016) 20 year anniversary (today) of the Olympics and on HRT.
5. At 70 (2026) 9 years as Susan King full time?

The next 20 to 25 years is going to be fun!

Wednesday July 20, 2016 My big 60th Birthday

Monday July 18, 2016 - Tri-Ess on Phil Donahue in the 1980's. WOW

I remember in my late 20's and early 30's, seeing Phil Donahue talking about "crossdressers". I realized I was not alone and I was a "hetero crossdresser". Watching these shows in the late 1980's helped me tell my parents in 1990, that I was not "cured". By then I was married with two children and I guess they figured, I was OK, just with a fetish.

I joined the Atlanta chapter in 1991 and went to a few meetings every year until 1994. 1994 was the year I spent my first full week an a woman on vacation in Hilton Head, SC. I soon realized I was more than a "hetero crossdresser", so I left Tri-Ess.

But I will always thank Tri-Ess and Phil Donahue for helping come out of that closet.

I am no longer in that closet. I am moving at my own deliberate pace into the public.

Below is a short clip from one of Phil's shows about crossdressers. The words used even in an enlightened environment is so different from today. Some of the audience questions are unbelievable. It shows a different time.

 The technology difference is unbelievable. But I remember those days and outfits.

Monday July 18, 2016 - Quantum Leap in 1988 deals with Sexual Harrassement thru gender

I was watching the old Quantum Leap series with Scott Backula. In Season 2, 1988, Scott plays a female secretary being sexually harassed by her boss. This short from the short highlights gender issues that are still going on today.

Sunday July 17, 2016 - Day 37 of HRT - Changes

Today I woke up with that feeling of smallness and venerability. I woke up wanting to be  held and told everything would be OK. I do not feel that old projection of power. Its not weakness but like I mentioned in a previous blog I am more timid and careful.

I have noticed in the past few days that I do not get that usually head nod from other black guys when we make contact. It still happens some times but its not 100% anymore.

There is silence between my legs. I am no longer being driven sexually, from that area. It now comes from that overall feeling of wanting to be hugged. Its part of that protection feeling. When I think of that, I get aroused.

When I stretch my arms out, I my muscle definition is not as prominent. There is still a liitle definition but my arms and shoulders muscles seem smaller. My legs still that the definition because of the the years of heavy cardio that are leg based. But even there, the definition is not as pronounced.

My big recent change, I noticed are my fingernails. They have gotten so long and have not broken. I tried to see how long they would grow or when they would break from everyday activity. My left hand (I am right handed) nails have never been this long.

Up until my thirties, I use to bite my nails. Then I stopped in the 1990's because I acknowledged by "crossdressing" and I wanted longer nails. But I would always have them break and crack. My right hand nails were always broken. But yesterday, my middle daughter noticed how long my nails were and asked how I got them that way. Hers are always short and break. She has very thin nails. I told her I was just working at it and stopped biting my nails.

My left hand nails are now too long for a male But Ok for Susan. I am going to cut them down today (about half) and let then grow out again.

The current state of my nails indicate that after transition I do not need nail extension. I might be lucky enough to maintain very pretty nails with just a  manicure to maintain shape and have then painted.

I do not think my breasts have grown recently and my left side is bigger and fuller than my right. But I expect overtime for them to even out.

Overall at the start week 6, I am pleased with how I am progressing and I have incorporated taking my meds into my daily routine.

I just need to get back into the gym and try to burn off some fat around my stomach. It means cardio in an attempt to reduce overall fat. Maybe the meds will help reduce fat in no female areas faster. I sure hope so.

Saturday July 16, 2016 - I asked Reddit trans community about Trump adding Gov. Pence to the ticket

A recent poll shows only 16% of the LGBT community supports Trump. Both McCain and Romney were in the 20% to 30% range. McCain above 25% while Romney was under 25%.

Will that number grow now the he has added Gov. Pence?

I received 121 comments in less than 24 hours. You need to check out some of the answers.

Trumps pick Gov. Pence as VP. from asktransgender

Saturday July 16, 2016 - Out shopping Friday

I have so much work to do, I do not have the time or money to do a lot of shopping. But I did get out yesterday. Dressing as Susan is moving from a special occasion to my normal dress. I am still on both sides of the divide but I am slowly leaning toward Susan as I expect to be full-time with the year.

I went to my local Payless to check out the fall shoes and the summer shoes on sale. The sales clerk at this store knows me in both male and female roles. The last time I came as Susan, she said the other clerk as well as her had wondered where I had been. Today was no different, she was glad to see me. She showed me some new styles and we talked for about 15 minutes about shoes she liked and ones I liked. She also remembered that I like flats over sandals.

I spent about 30 additional minutes trying on shoes. Below are some of the shoes I tried on.

 I tried on some flats first. This one had a demin color look to it. It was comfortable, but was a little too light for the demin skirt I had on.

 This was a comfortable marron flat. Its similar in style to the blue shoe above.

This was a very comfortable blue ballerina shoe. The material was soft and mesh-like. My toes and the front of my foot was comfortable and the shoe had a very soft and nice feel to it. I told the clerk that I am going to buy a pair of these at the end of the summer, when I get a coupon. We both laughted.














 I need a nice brown shoe and this maybe the one. The clerk told me that  the clunky heels are in. I do not like them, but I will get use to them. However this heel works with this shoe.

What makes the shoe for me is the way it hugs my ankle.The top strap has a buckle and allows me to pull it tight around my ankles. I think I am going to buy this one, once its on sale or I get a nice coupon.

These shoes will work with my brown outfits.

I like this style shoe with the different color strap along the front. I saw a lady with with a brown pair of shoes like these. The front strap was creme and the rest of the shoe was a dark brown. I thought they looked so pretty. So when I saw these shoes, I had to try them on.

The only problem I had was the ankle area, Eventhough they had an adjustable strap around the ankle, I could not get it tight enough around my ankle because the back piece over my heel and up my ankle was too stiff and would not bend forward enough to give a tight look around the ankle.. So there was a gap between this part of the shoe and the back of my ankle.

Here is another view of the shoe. I like how it looks in the front but not the back. So this is a no.

I have a few of these wedge styles. There are a size 12.  The brown one hurts my feet. This was a 12W which did give me more room. But there was too much room in the heel area and my heel kept slipping out of the shoe. I could not find an 11W. Maybe that might work. I will try on an 11W next time, if I can find one.

I had to try one sandal. It was on sale for $10. This is not a good picture of it, but it did fit well. I am just too self conscience about the size of my feet to wear them.

I did not buy any shoes but had fun shopping and talking with the sales clerk.

I did make one mistake. I saw a shoe in the storage area above the rack. I got on my tippy toes and pulled the box out. Four other boxes fell to the ground on the next isle.Oops!. I had to go over to that isle and put the shoes back in the correct box and put them neatly back up in storage. The clerk must of heard the fall and came over. She was nice about it, but told me that she would help me next time. Oops!

As Susan, I should ask for help from the clerk and not be too independent. I know Payless does not want anyone doing what I did because what if someone was trying on shoes in that area.

But it made me wonder if that is female protocol to ask for help while shopping. Maybe next time I will ask a random women shopping in my area for her opinion or help, just to see what happens.

Friday July 15, 2016 - Out today

I need to get to the doctor for my 1 month appointment. I had it scheduled for Monday and changed it until today. But some money issues came up, so I am going to reschedule again.

Meanwhile, I need to get some shopping done. I am headed out to complete some window shopping until next week. Then I need to get back to work at home.

I doubt anything unusual will  happen. But I will summarize my shopping excursion tomorrow.

I am showing off my "girls" for the first time. I like the way I am looking and I see slight changes. I have a long way to go, but the ride is part of the fun.

Its hot today, so I put my hair up to get it away from my shoulders. So I will not have the comfort of my hair hiding any facial flaws. With my hair up and chest out, I am being me.

Thursday July 14, 2016 - Perfect dress for your body shape

Finding that perfect dress is hard. Below is a nice infographic guide to help you find that dress based on your body type. I am an inverted triangle with shoulders wider than my hips.

Wednesday July 13, 2016 - My face is changing

I was looking in the mirror this morning. My face is changing. I noticed a very slight change. There is a dark line starting outside of the apple of my cheeks and running perpendicular down toward the outside of my mouth. Also my cheek area from the jawline inward toward this new line is darkened. It looked like I used contouring to darken this area.

I could not understand what happened. I like the look but how did this natural shading happen. I felt along my cheek bone and the skin looks a liitle raised. I think some fat may have been deposited there which raised my cheek bone area from the apple back and up toward the temple area.

Its a very slight change but adds some femininity to my face. I had read about this from others in which there seems to be no change and then one day you see a change.

Wednesday July 13, 2016 - Being on the Internet does not make it true.

I found this infographic about gender realignment, Notice under male-to-female, there is a blue box with alist of items that estrogen will do to your body. Three of the four items are just wrong.

1. Breast Growth - correct
2. Widen hips - wrong - if it assumes bone structre change. The only changes come from fat being  deposited in the hip area. But your bone structure is set and will not change.
3. lessen facial hair - wrong - only electrology and maybe some laser will work
4. change voice - wrong - only practice or surgery will change your voice.

This inforgraphic was found on a web site about science. WOW (link to actual site)

Tuesday July 12, 2016 -Working from home today.

For almost 60 years, after my morning shower, I grab some male clothes and get dressed. Except for those few times, I dress as Susan  or a femboy when an outing is planned or a want to dress at home.

For the last few days, its been different. After my morning shower, I naturally gravitate to my woman's closet. Its as though my mind is now says this is normal. Today I am working from home. So I let that new instinct play out. I know understand way many transwoman on HRT just go full-time one day. I was planning on 2017, but I now feel like forget it, this is me and I will just go for it. No more planning. No more predicting who, what, where or why.

I only put lipstick on this morning. I just feel that its the only makeup I needed this morning. I should probably at least add mascara, eyeliner and fill-in my eyebrows. A little foundation and blush might help, but I just felt like lipstick this morning.

Today I am wearing just a T-shirt with some cut-off and rolled up jeans. I have to finish cleaning my car today and wash it. So I am wearing this causal outfit.

I am wearing the pink bra that creates more cleavage to go with this top. The bra shows under this top. If I go out, I will change to top to a darker color.

I wanted to show the change from just 31 days ago. I have much more breast tissue and I am creating this cleavage with out a push-up padded bra. This just that 36A pink bra with the smaller coverage. Because of the smaller coverage, I can push the tissue toward my breast bone.


Today does not feel like I am dressing up. This feels normal.

Monday July 11, 2016 - Bummer

I had a doctor's appointment today to get some blood work and speak to the doctor about my HRT. However, I had to reschedule because of a conflict with a very important client. So I rescheduled for Friday. That might work out because afterward I can join Karen and go to the movies.

But I really wanted to ask the doctor a few questions and tell him how well things are going.

Yesterday was hot in Atlanta and I decided to work on my car all afternoon. I needed to shampoo my carpet and seats. It took me three hours and I was sweating alot.

Afterwards, I had problems with my fingers cramping. To the point I had a hard time eating because I kept dropping my fork. I was drinking water because usually my cramping is due to dehydration. I drank over 64 oz of water over a two hour period before the cramping and soreness went away. I would drink a 16 oz glass of water and wait to see if that would stop the cramps. When it did not, I drank another glass of water.

I usually try and drink 20+ ounces at a time. But for some reason, I did not have a taste for water and it took awhile to drink the 16 oz glass of water.

Taking the 200 mg of Spironolactone daily does require me to drink a lot of water and I am drinking about 60+ oz per day. But overdoing it in that hot sun forced me to drink more water and I had a tough time with it.

Speaking of Spironolactone, I purchased my first refill yesterday. I used a coupon from GoodRx and reduced the cost of my Spironolactone from $53.79 to $24.09. That is over a 30% discount and brought my monthly medicine bill down to $41.09. I paid $70.79 last month.

I expect by the fall to not need Spirononlactone because the estrogen should be able to keep my testosterone in check my then. Once that medicine is gone, my monthly medicine cost will drop to $17.00.

Sunday July 10, 2016 - 1 month measurements

Once a month, I will take measurements to document the physical changes that are occuring while on HRT. This is the first month and I was deciding how to present this data. I could use a graph, but I thought using a body picture would be better. I took pictures of myself, but I felt awkward showing myself, even with my face nor showing. I think its a little beyond the blog showing a naked body shot, even without my face and a blank over my private parts. That may change, but I like the picture below. 

The only changes were an increase in my breast line and a decrease in both the area under my breasts and my waist at the belly button. How my clothes are fitting support these changes.

My breast line is not growing out as much as the width and fullness of them are growing. The base is getting wider. Karen and I went to the movies yesterday and she noticed them. She told me that at times when I moved and my shirt tightened across my chest, she saw a slight outline which she never noticed before when I was in boy mode. She recommended that if this growth continues that when in boy mode, I wear my sports bra, a tight T-shirt and then a loose shirt. I agree and will monitor this over the next month or two.

The only other changes were under my breast and waist areas. Both of them shrunk which was nice because it is giving me more of an hourglass shape. I did go to the gym about 10 times during the month. I am going to use this change to try and motivate myself to go more often. I would like to get down to a 32" waist by Thanksgiving ( 4 months - 4 inches).

Karen also felt that my shoulder area was smaller. I told her that I did not measure that area before, but I will add the measurement, so I can monitor it. Of course the bone structure will not change, but the muscle and fat may. This could take an inch or two off the area.

So today my shoulder area is 45". This is 5 inches more than my hips at 40". I want to see if that ratio will change over time.

My body is headed in the right direction and started moving faster than I thought.

Saturday July 9, 2016 - 1 month on HRT

Tomorrow is my 30th day on HRT. The first week or two I saw and felt some changes which I discussed in a recent post. I seem to have found a level in which any changes that maybe occurring are slow and I can not notice them. Based on reading other blog posts, articles, redditt posts and youtube videos, this is normal.

Because I see myself everyday in the mirror, the changes will be so slight until one day you look and say, wow.

I am taking my meds on time, twice a day and drinking plenty of water (60+ oz) and limiting soda and junk food.

During the first two weeks, my appetite increased significantly. After my evening dose, I became very hungry and would eat like crazy. Now, my appetite is getting back to normal and I am eating much better since the Grandchildren moved. No more junk food in the house. So when I am hungry at night, I eat a large salad, fruit and/or make a smoothie.

I am having a difficult time motivating myself to exercise and my energy output during my workouts have dropped. I thought this would happen, but I assumed it would take a few months. So I still have a little stomach that I wanted to work off during the spring. Now I have to control my caloric intake more and try and force myself into the gym three days a week.

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday for some blood work and a talk with the doctor. I may have to reschedule  because of a very important meeting.

Today I am going to an early movie with Karen in boy mode. I am wearing my green and silver 36A bra. I love this bra because of its full coverage and nice snug fit. I can tell by my male shirt that my upper body is getting slightly smaller. The shirt hangs differently at the shoulder. Also, my breast line is now slightly showing. This shirt is green with a loud multi-color print that helps hide my chest. But this will become an issue or might already be an issue with some of my male solid color shirts.

Tomorrow will be my first monthly post based on my body measurements. Before I started, I took six body measurements. Each monthly, I will remeasure and compare the numbers to my pre-HRT measurements. I want to record the physical changes on a monthly basis.

I did this with my weight loss for 18 months and it was amazing to see the results and where and when the weight came off. I hope to do a monthly HRT post for 24 months.


I have taken pictures but I am not sure if I want to use stick figures or my actual picture. I am still trying to decide.

Friday July 8, 2016 - Having a Manicure with my daughter

My youngest daughter has been in town the last few days. She is the one who took me to get my belly button pierced. Yesterday we spent time talking about the issues of the day while doing our own manicures.

It felt like a slumber party. But we did not have rollers in our hair. I wear a wig while my daughter has extensions.

My daughter was impressed with my new nail growth.

I painted my nails with my clear polish but may change it for my Monday's doctor's appointment.

Below is an infographic which shows most of my routine when I do my own manicure. However, I soak my nails first to soften the cuticles. I may add a softener if needed.

Thursday July 7, 2016 - Determining your skin tone will help with makeup and fashion

One of the things I love about being a woman is that fashion, makeup and overall appearance are constantly changing and always in need of updating.

My male wardrobe rarely changes. I have had the same shirts, socks and pants for years. I wear the same stuff over and over again. Its so boring. Now not all men are like that. My Dad was into men's fashion and constantly updated his wardrobe. He once told me that he wished I was into clothes like he was. We even went clothes shopping together and he taught me about determining the quality of male clothes and colors. It was nice, but I wanted to go to the women's section. It was a nice outing, but it was not me and we never did it again.

However, my female wardrobe, along with my makeup is always changing as I try to improve my look and stay current. It can be expensive but its fun. Now I know while many woman love to shop and find deals.

Below is an infographic I used to help determine my skin tone and which colors work for me during different seasons.

I am definitely no expert, far from it, but this type of inforgraphic helps.

Wednesday July 6, 2016 - HRT Update

I am settling in to my new routine of taking my medicine and drinking enough water. The water issue is a daily struggle for me. I can tell when I have not been drinking enough water. I need to work on this. The first week I was Ok but I have to create a routine and stick with it.

I assumed by reading and watching videos of others discussing the impact of HRT, it would take up to 90 days to see any results. This is why I did not stress out too bad when I did not accomplish my weight goal or waistline goal.

But I am noticing many changes already. Some might be psychosomatic while others I can tell by how my clothes fit. Below is a list of the few items I have noticed, after 3 weeks.

1. My overall skin seems smoother. Last night I was laying on the top of the bed naked as I waited for my bathtub to fill. I notice how smooth my skin felt along my torso and legs. I do not know of a way to test it, but the fact I noticed it out of the blue makes me think its true.
2. My finger nails are long and are still growing without breaking or cracking. My left hand usually has longer nails because I am right handed. My right hand nails break all the time because of use. However, both hands have long nails and I have not had a broken or cracked nail in at least a week. I do not know if my nails are getting stronger or I am not as rough with my hands.
3. I am losing strength. I can tell in the gym that it is harder for me to complete the same routine at the same level and burn the same number of calories, I am slowly building my time back up but my calorie count is down which means slightly less effort. Also my muscles hurt more after my workout.
4. My breasts are filling out and the underlying base of breast tissue is widening. I noticed after the first week that this was happening. I have gynecomastia  and maybe that is why. They are not sore but they have come alive and I notice and feel them more. I had to upgrade from a sports bra to a regular bar for better support.
5. I feel calmer and more relaxed. I have had a couple of issues on the road in which I would have had road rage due to the actions of  the other drivers aggressive behavior. In both cases, I decided to let it go and forget it. I also noticed more people cutting me off. But now I let get go.
6. I added coconut oil to my morning routine. I rub pure coconut oil on my breasts every morning. I want to make sure I keep streatch marks down should I have a rapid spurt of breast growth.

In summary, I love what is happening to me. I just thought it would take longer. This could mean that I will become full-time before the first quarter 2017.

Tuesday July 5, 2016 - Huggs

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night because my skin had this strange feeling. I am having a hard time trying to find the words to describe this feeling. It was not a tingling feeling like when your "arm falls asleep". It did not hurt. It was just a feeling that woke me and kept me up.

It could have been nerves or stress. I just do not know. Or it could be the HRT.

I just wanted to hug something in an attempt to satisfy this feeling. I cuddled with my pillow and then some blankets. They helped a little, but over time this feeling subsided and I feel back to sleep.

While asleep, I had a dream in which someone was holding me in their arms and we were cuddling. It felt good and I felt safe and secure.

So I have decided to buy a large teddy bear. Should this feeling reoccur, I think the teddy bear will help.

BTW:
I am starting my third week of HRT and look forward to my doctor's appointment next Monday. I am having a blood test to check my levels. Plus I will have a talk with my doctor because I do have a few questions to ask him.

I did not go shopping yesterday. The BBQ I was going to attend was changed, so I took my grandchildren swimming in the 90+ degree heat. They had fun while I sat in the shade. The heat wore them out and I took them home to their parents around 7 pm. They were out for the night. It gave my daughter and son-in-law a chance to go to the movies, have dinner and spend some time away from the children. Maybe another grandchild. (LOL).

Monday July 4, 2016 - Happy 4th of July - I am going shopping!

Today we celebrate our country's freedom. Today I am celebrating my freedom as my meds make me feel liberated from my male cage. I feel calmer and more relaxed as my body and mind adjust to the new normal.

Next Monday is my one month doctor's appointment in which they will take blood samples and see how I am doing.

I have a BBQ to attend later this afternoon. But this morning I am going to head out shopping and enjoy this day and my new found freedom.

With my added experience with bras, I am going to look again for a few more to purchase. I want to concentrate on full coverage, comfort and security. Cuteness can come later.

Sunday July 3, 2016 - All Bras are not the same

Friday I bought two new 36A bras. Well, Saturday I wore one all day and Sunday, I wore the other one all day. There was a big difference between them.

Before I get into the differences, there is a difference between my sports bras and my new regular bras. The sports bras have kept me flat over the past few decades when presenting as a man. Now that my breasts are filling out, these bras do not keep me as flat and because there is no padding, I am having problems when my nipples become pronounced. This is spontaneously happening more and more. The new bras are padded and hide erect nipples. But the new bras  produce a more pronounced breast outline. As my breasts grow, this will make hiding when in boy mode much more difficult. Which in turn may require me to come out full time much sooner.

I wore the green and silver bra on Saturday. The band was a perfect size as it hugged by body and felt so natural. The cups were large enough to hold both the width and depth of each breast. Its a soft cup bra that wears well. I did not notice it all day. It kept me feeling comfortable and secure. I made sure my shirt was big enough, so my breast line did not show.

The pink bra was a completely different story. Even though it was also a 36A, the band was tight around me. Because it was a triangle or balette style, the cups did not completely cover my breasts. I had to position the cups to cover as much as possible without breast tissue showing under the cup or outside under my armpits. This meant I had to let more breast tissue push out toward the center of my chest. I soon realized that this type of bra is good for showing cleavage with a low cut top.

The above picture is my pink bra under a low cut T-shirt. You can see the cleavage and that one side is now larger than the other. The right side is slightly larger.

I did not feel as secure or comfortable with this top as I did with Saturday's green bra. I also realized that not all 36A bras are the same.

I am going to find some more bras over the next month and I need to become more aware of the style and that all 36A bras do not fit the same.

Sunday July 3, 2016 - 1.4M U.S. Citizens are Transgendered

Updated estimates show 1.4 million adults identify as transgender in the US, doubling estimates from a decade ago

For Immediate Distribution

June 30, 2016

Contact:

The Williams Institute, williamsinstitute@law.ucla.edu, (310) 267-4382
Click here for detailed report

Representative, state-level surveys provide data sources for estimates of the population of adults who identify as transgender.

LOS ANGELES — An estimated 0.6% of adults in the United States, or 1.4 million individuals, identify as transgender, according to a new study authored by researchers at The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law. The study provides the first ever state-level estimates of the percentage of adults who identify as transgender throughout the United States, ranging from 0.3% in North Dakota to 0.8% in Hawaii.

The study, titled “How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States,” is also the first of its kind to provide estimates of the population in each individual state identifying as transgender.

Key findings from the study include

• Approximately 0.6% of adults identify as transgender, or 1.4 million adults.

• There are differences in the percentage of adults who identify as transgender among the states. Hawaii (0.8%), California (0.8%), Georgia (0.8%), New Mexico (0.8%), Texas (0.7%), and Florida (0.7%) are the states that have the highest percentages of adults who identify as transgender.

• The states with the lowest percentages of transgender-identified adults are North Dakota (0.3%), Iowa (0.3%), Wyoming (0.3%), Montana (0.3%), and South Dakota (0.3%).

• Young adults are more likely than older adults to identify as transgender. Among adults ages 18 to 24, 0.7% identify as transgender; among adults ages 25 to 64, 0.6% identify as transgender; and among adults ages 65 and older, 0.5% identify as transgender.

Saturday July 2, 2016 - Bra Shopping

The day I had planned did not workout. On Thursday night I installed my first advertising machine and had some problems. So I knew I had to go back on Friday. Also, one of my real estate clients wanted to meet with me for lunch. This meant I needed to be in boy mode for Friday.

I no longer had time for a pedicure but I was still going to go bra shopping.

First, I went to Walmart because I needed to get an oil change for a used car I was asked to sell. While waiting, I walked over to the Women's section and shopped for bras. It did not bother me that I was a "guy" looking at bras. I am really a women crossdressing as a guy. I noticed a set of bras that had two sizes (34B/36A). Earlier, I had measured my body under my breast line and I was 35 inches. Even though the 36A bra I had at home fit well, I wondered how a 34B would fit. I decided not to purchase at Walmart.I just did not see anything I liked.

Later I went to Belks. I looked at their selection and they had some nice ones, but none of them grabbed my attention. Most were underwire and mature looking. But for me, I am a young teen looking for something cute that was colorful and had lace. I did not want an underwire old woman look. Right now I do not need an underwire bra.

My next store was Kolhs. I buy some of my panties from here because I like their variety and prices. I found a nice selection of colorful bras and in both 34B and 36A. So I decided to go into the men's dressing room and try both sizes on. I wanted to see the difference.

The first one was the 34B. The problem was that it was too tight around my body. You can see the skin puffed out under the band. Also the bra was a little to tight under my arms and the straps sat toward the outer edge of my shoulders. I could have loosened the straps a little to give more room under my arms, but the band was already at the outer most line of hooks. I could now tell that this size was too small. At least for this brand.

Next I tried the 36A. This size definitely had a better fit. I felt more comfortable and it did not cut across my body. It was wider and not only gave me more room but I liked how it the straps laid on my shoulders. The straps were more in the center of my shoulder. This bra just looks better on me.

The problem with this bra was that it was an underwire and the price was above my budget. So I left without buying.

Finally, I went to a used clothing store. It was not Goodwill because they keep their bras in a bin and I did not see much of a selection. So I tried a more "upscale" second hand store. They had their bras hanging up by size. I went over to the size 36 rack. They had the type of bras I was looking for. There were a few colorful ones that were not underwire and the price was within my budget. So I bought two that  matched the color of some of my panties.A green with silver and a pink. A girl must have a pretty pink bra.

I could not try them on because this store does not have a changing room. But I feel pretty confident about the fit. I am going to wash them Saturday with my other laundry. Today happens to be laundry day.

I had fun shopping for a bra. I was not able to make a day of it or dress appropriately, but I did enjoyed it. One of the readers commented on Friday's post about a Griffin, GA store. I use to go there decades ago when my children were young but I had forgotten about it.

I am so glad she reminded me because I am going to take a day trip next week to visit that store and a few Goodwill stores in the area.

BTW, I upgraded my phone Friday and I hope to have better picture from now on. Also, I did fix the ad machine, it was a bad keyboard.